Lazy Sports "Journalists"

Good Fridays w/Padre: Sunday Services

September 2, 2016 by Father Sorin

I haven’t had to perform too many theological gymnastics in order to accept that we start this year’s Football March to Victory on a Sunday. Yes, it is The Lord’s Day. But you can go to Mass on Saturday evening and it still counts. The Lord is just happy to see you, and He appreciates that you stopped in for a visit. Besides, we don’t take the Bible literally. If we did, there would be a lot of eyes plucked out for looking at filthy images (like USC and Alabama playing with each other), and a ...

Good Fridays w/Padre: Bad Question

February 12, 2016 by Father Sorin

Last weekend was that big football game which millions ignore to watch everything else that goes on around it. A lot of defense was played and a quarterback of mature years seemingly concluded his career on a high note. One of the several occurrences that people found more interesting than the game itself was the press conference during which the defeated quarterback was laconic, surly, and dismissive before dismissing himself from the press conference. I’m told this fellow attended no fewer ...

Good Fridays w/Padre: Break-Its

March 20, 2015 by Father Sorin

So much excitement at this time of year about the Grand Tournament! Especially this year since our team is, indeed, so grand! Yet, I am always disturbed by the fixation with these so-called “Brackets.” In that they are gambling, I remind you all that this is illegal – unless you’re an Alum in the stock market who makes lots of money and donates most to the University. In that case, gamble away. In another regard, these brackets somehow seek to make an academic science out of what is merely ...

Dear ESPN…It’s too Early in the Offseason for Clickbait

January 27, 2015 by Ryan Ritter

We aren't even past signing day yet, but the ACC blog over at ESPN decided it was time to get the Notre Dame clickbait rolling early this year. This particular entry dipped into the "lol Notre Dame sucks" pool by penning a hypothetical, tongue-in-cheek letter from the ACC to Notre Dame. And you know what such a letter deserves? A hypothetical, tongue-in-cheek, smart-ass response from Notre Dame. I'm more than happy to oblige. Dear ACC, Thanks for reaching out to us. It's been a little ...

Good Fridays w/Padre: Era’s End

January 9, 2015 by Father Sorin

So the Freemasons have won. Or the Illuminati, Rosicrucians, Elders of the Priory of Sion – let’s just call them the E-lders of the S-ion P-riory freemasoNs. They and their Rodent Overlord enjoy a complete victory; they have taken over college football and forced the creation of the playoff system that they have long wanted, and will long broadcast, for lots of money. I mourn the passing of an era. Gone are the days when the leading teams from regional affiliations of colleges would compete ...

Cropping photos is fun, isn't it B/R? (Via @bangulo & Unedited)

Peep this Relevance: USC Recruit Punches Opponent, Notre Dame Implicated

October 24, 2013 by Bayou Irish

As Notre Dame continues to recruit and haul the best from the "isn't that so-and-so's kid?" end of the pool, things like this are bound to happen, but today's news out of California provides an interesting example of what happens when blatant bias against the Irish intersects with celebutante news. Cordell Broadus, son of Snoop Lion a/k/a Snoop Dogg, and four-star wide receiver recruit, is among several players suspended for a fight that occurred during a game between Diamond Ranch and ...

Good Fridays W/Padre: Misremembered

September 6, 2013 by Father Sorin

The world is a very different place up in Ann Abhor Arbor. The stadium is bigger, the fans are meaner, and the shade of yellow is urine-ier. They even have an entirely different perspective on the world and all that’s in it, as seen through their beady little giant-North-American-weasel eyes. What follows, then, is the Irish-Wolverine rivalry, according to the Book of Michigan. 1879 – A devastating fire rages through Notre Dame’s Main Building. Young men from the University of Michigan ...

Good Fridays w/Padre: Scandal Us

July 12, 2013 by Father Sorin

At this time in July, as families travel across the country, grade-school children catalog their new experiences so they can write those all-important “what I did on my summer vacation” essays. At this very same time, across America, sports journalists are sloughing off the blackened husks that used to be their integrity and are skimming the sewers of half-truths and scurrilous gossip, as they prepare to smear Notre Dame in the style of angry chimpanzees with handfuls of their own filth. This ...

The Eddie Vanderdoes Saga Goes Full WWE

June 10, 2013 by Ryan Ritter

I've been trying to figure out the right words to describe how I feel about the national coverage of the Eddie Vanderdoes situation. No, not those words -- those were to destroy a particularly lazy effort. What I am referring to is this need to find moral outrage in the situation. Whether it is blaming ND, the NCAA, the NLI, Eddie Vanderdoes, or anything else, there is a need to point the finger at someone. Disagree with where the finger lands and additional outrage piles on top of the ...

Nothing Golden About Gregg Doyel’s Hackjob

June 5, 2013 by Ryan Ritter

Well, it was only a matter of time before someone performed the offseason ritual of writing a Notre Dame hack piece. On the heels of the Eddie Vanderdoes drama, we knew it was coming, we knew some brave internet white knight troll would bravely call ND out attempt to generate page clicks. Loyal readers, I give you Gregg Doyel (only linking so you don't think I'm making this up) and his well deserved destruction below. ...