FIU one-upped Miami this evening, kicking 2 players to the curb. Meanwhile, the University of Miami is still toting a knife in this media-perception-gun-fight and only, thus far, extending one player's suspension indefinitely (read: until we need him in a game against a team not named Duke). If nothing else, whoever is handling Miami's PR right now needs to be swirlied. Not impressed. Not impressed at all. ...
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And Like That… He’s Gone…
Canned. Lamar Thomas, renowned football analyst, columnist, orator, lover of small children, and all around good guy was fired today for his "fightin' words" heard on the telecast of the Miami/FIU ultimate fighting championship battle royale football game. Insiders expect another media group to snap up the talented Thomas any day now. Yep. Any day. Just a matter of time. Not if, but when. You'll see. This is just a tiny bump in the road of a superstar's career path. When asked ...
3 Guesses
On today's Dan Patrick show on ESPN Radio, Dan Patrick mentioned that if he had just gone on the radio and told his audience that a Division 1 College Football Program was involved in a bench-clearing brawl this past weekend, and nobody in the country had already known about it, it wouldn't take anyone 3 guesses to realize he was talking about the "University" of Miami. This got me thinking about what other statements one could make about a football team that could plausibly involve Miami and ...
Street Gangs Condemn University of Miami Football Program
Representatives of numerous street gangs from across the United States held a joint press conference today to condemn the University of Miami's Football Program and it's actions over the last 2 decades. "We just wanted to come together as a community," said Bloods representative Lawrence "Slamz" Benson, "It was important to us all that the country realizes that, despite the comparissons that have been made, especially over the last few days, the members of the University of Miami Football ...
A Profile In Courage: Lamar Thomas
In the aftermath of the brawl between the "University" of Miami (Not Ohio) and FIU this weekend, there have been dozens upon dozens of calls for the head of college football analysis professional and "University" of Miami "graduate," Lamar Thomas. Thomas can be heard during the telecast of the brawl encouraging the behavior of the student athletes on the field. His actions have created outrage among the normally righteous members of the media. But wait. Were these the actions of an ...
BCS Rankings Are Out, But Why?
The Bowl Championship Rankings Are out. Notre Dame places 8th. It doesn't matter. It has absolutely no effect on which teams will play in which bowls. So why not just have one, single BCS ranking at the end of the regular season? Controversy = . It's simple. Start releasing the BCS rankings from the beggining of the season, and nobody will really care much because it's just too early in the season for all the variables that go into the BCS to make any sense. You'd end up with some ...
The Wave Turns 25. Inventor Identified. Terminator Activated.
You might notice the present getting a little, um, weird. See, we at HLS just saw this story about the invention of the wave, and have decided that the world would be better off without it. So we've activated a T1000 and sent it back 25 years. You might notice little things suddenly changing with no explanation, like suddenly your brother never existed, or the walls of your house change color, or you blink and suddenly you're a moth. Sorry about that. It's just better for everyone if ...
Pat Forde Feeling Sticky. SEC Feeling Great, Might Call Him Next Week.
This is getting to be a cosmic joke. Pat, making sure that everyone understands he wouldn't do this sort of thing for just any conference, reminds doubters... This was the seventh week of the season, and at least one Southeastern Conference team has lost in each one. Now, after a deafening night in the Loveliest Little Village on The Plains, the body count is complete in the Bloody South. Twelve teams. No unbeatens. Nobody left standing tall in the national championship chase. Let the ...
Florida Becomes Inept. Media Ignores It And Heralds SEC Defense.
The 2 QB System works as well for Urban Meyer as it does for, well, everyone. And as a result, the SEC saves face and gets to claim that, aw shucks, it's just so gosh darned tough in the SEC, they'll never get a shot at that fancy-schmancy Bee Cee Ess Tital Gaym. Shoot. You seen how fast dem boys is? Shoot. Ain't fair. No it t'aint. Just ain't. Yep. Mmm hmmm. Sure. Whatever. Ignore the fact that, as omahadomer pointed out on NDN, Meyer's Florida teams have not scored more than 23 ...
Coker Going Out In A Blaze Of Glory
Oh Sure, I go off and try to have a social life, and this happens. Dammit. Anyway, thanks to the miracle of the internets, we've got video. [youtube]1JWeE9KqZjQ[/youtube] Ah. Yes. I recognize this. See, Miami is clearly no longer actually being coached. And they're also clearly being kept on an uncharted, uninhabited island. Most likely the fat kid has already been squashed with a rock. I'd start looking for a pig's head right about now. Found it. This all can only mean one ...