EDSBS has factored the ND/UCLA game, and domer.mq can't remember anything about factors other than this... Math Man! domer.mq also can't remember what this image is from. He just knows it was on PBS a lot when he was in 5th grade and that he's so pissed he had nothing better to do than watch PBS in 5th grade while all the cool kids played Lazer Tag. He had Lazer Tag, he just didn't have anyone that wanted to play Lazer Tag with him. The Cool Kids ...
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Dartmouth Apologizes for Brawl; Fans Ask, “What Brawl?”
The Dartmouth athletic department apologized for the fight that broke out between the Dartmouth Big Green and the Holy Cross Crusader football teams last Saturday. When told about the incident, college football fans everywhere asked several questions, in some variation of the following order: "Brawl? You mean Miami? What? Dartmouth? What brawl? Holy Cross? Are you serious?" After Holy Cross won the game in overtime, several of its players celebrated the victory on the "D" painted on ...
Wait. Is Notre Dame Playing Miami This Week?
Are we actually playing Miami this week? Maybe. It seems that, whoever we're playing this week, they're quite possibly liars. Still, they aren't bold-faced liars on the scale of Miami, so we'll let it slide. It probably wasn't a lie anyway so much as misinformation being spread by the coaching staff to ensure that the Notre Dame fans show up on Saturday prepared to be as quiet as possible. Crafty. Like a fox. Hey Karl Dorrel, if that coaching thing doesn't work out for you, we know ...
He’s All Ours, And You Can’t Have Him
Yesterday Charlie confirmed what everyone probably already knew anyway: A few NFL teams contacted him this past week. And apparently it was about more than just how to defeat the Tampa 2 Defense. There's no official word on which teams those might be, but I'd bet they're among a pool of teams that rhyme with... The James Spaders The I Pulled Off My Dead Skins The FCC Compliants The Packers Anyway, yeah, they contacted him, and he said... "Everyone knows I'm staying here until they ...
People, Please Leave Charlie Alone
A Public Service Announcement: People, please leave Charlie Weis alone. Why do you feel the need to drive by his house and take photos? Is it the first house you've ever seen? Yes, I'm sure it's quite grand, but stop, please. Driving by the homes of famous people and taking pictures is creepy. Creepy like being older than 12 and bringing your glove to a baseball game and then waiting outside of Wrigley to get it signed by the players leaving the players' parking lot. Do you ...
Donna Shalalalalalalalalalalala Has Found Her Home at Miami
The inch of makeup hides her rotted soul. Ok, last time we mention this whole Miami thing for a while. Ok, so that was a lie. Donna Shalala would appreciate that, as she is both the president of the University of Miami (and we use the term "University" lightly here) and a liar. This morning on Mike and Mike In The Morning, a talk radio show on ESPN Radio, Donna Shalala said, in reference to the investigation that the University mounted over this controversey, "We looked at the film ...
Miami Sets “New Standard”. Tehran and Pyongyang Bow Down To Master.
Washington D.C. - President of the United States, George W. Bush has announced that the "Axis of Evil" formerly made up of Iraq, Iran, and North Korea now consists of Iran, North Korea, and The Institution Formerly Knowns As The University Of Miami. The designation as a part of the Axis of Evil and the assignment of a new name for the former Universitiy was made by the Administration in response to The Institution Formerly Known As The University Of Miami's announcement that the 1-game ...
Dennis Green Poops Pants, Forced to Talk About It
GLENDALE, Ariz.--While Bears fans Monday night might have been disappointed that they did not see the abrupt end of Matt Leinart's career, they were certainly delighted to see the Bears escape University of Phoenix stadium with a win and 12 credits toward their M.S. in Nursing and Health Care Administration. Some questionable playcalling by the Cardinals allowed the undefeated Bears to overcome a 23-3 third-quarter deficit and beat the Cardinals 24-23. After the game, Cardinal coach Dennis ...
LOUD CONTINUOUS NOISE!!!
According to the OC Register (still hunting for link), the starting QB for UCLA cannot speak. Which means he cannot call the cadence, let alone call any audibles in a loud stadium. Pat Cowan is likely to start Saturday at Notre Dame, but there are concerns about his ability to communicate. There are also answers to questions about strategy and play-calling from the fourth quarter of UCLA's loss at Oregon. Cowan, the Bruins quarterback, took a shot to the throat in the second half. As the ...
Washington QB Out For Season. Ty Says Something Obtuse, Schedules Pebble Beach Tee Time.
Well, Ty Willingham has to be smiling to himself just a bit. Because whatever expectations were ever held for the University of Washington's football program just jumped out of the window and broke like a pumpkin against the sidewalk of life because their starting QB is hobbled and wont be returning for the rest of the season. Someone say "hobbled?" ...