So over the past week we have heard much about MSU's storied football tradition, but did you know MSU is not just a football school? Students have many enriching activities from which to choose: Exhibit A: Dodgeball Team [youtube]rqHlUzdDrRM[/youtube] PWANGE!! Exhibit B: Paintball Team [youtube]ZANnw9bYsWw[/youtube] WARNING - watching paintball is as exciting as watching paint dry. Exhibit C: Glass Breaking Team [youtube]bdr-cz3pxEw[/youtube] I'm sure potential employers ...
Things That Suck
Megaphone Trophy Spotted
HLS spies deep within East Lansing have managed to return a picture of MSU's beloved Megaphone Trophy: It should now be quite obvious to everyone why the Irish did not bring the trophey to last years game (that shade of pink clashes with our gold helmets of course). ...
The Cunning Use of Flags…
HLS Intel has discovered that the incident of Michigan State football players planting a MSU flag in the middle of the field at Notre Dame Stadium on September 15, 2005 was actually the first in a series of such incidents world-wide. Apparently Hugo Chavez should be worrying more about MSU and less about George Bush. HLS Intel Officer Eddie Izzard explains the technique that MSU is employing in his report here. HLS Intel has also received the following spy-satellite images, catching the MSU ...
Like Playing Football In A Tin Can…
...
Waxing Less Painful Than Football
As mentioned last week on EDSBS, a Michiana man got a full body wax in exchange for ND vs Michigan tickets. Well the video has put up on YouTube...enjoy(?) All that pain for even more pain...man this guy is hating life. Which hurts worst this week? Being a Notre Dame Football fan or being a 40 year-old virgin? [youtube]i4YCPG2gPOE[/youtube] An ND Football fan [youtube]D6Gs5BpgsCw[/youtube] A 40 year-old virgin ...
College Football Falling Victim to Pansification of America
This past weekend I saw a very intimidating guy with huge "canons" for arms, more tatoos than I'd ever seen, food from last week falling from his beard, and a leather jacket that said "Hell's Angels" walk into a Starbucks. Figuring he was about to hold up the joint, smash a few things, take a young, nubile barista as his wench, and generally live up to his stereotype, I followed him right in. Well, that and I really, really needed a nice hot chocolate because scotch and driving rarely mix. ...
Scientists Baffled: Michigan Still Sucks
Ann Arbor, Michigan - After defeating the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame soundly in yesterday's game at Notre Dame stadium, most of Michigan expected to awake today to headlines heralding all that was great about Michigan. Instead, they found quite the opposite. Jerry Ben, chief scientist of the Institute of Sucking in Ann Arbor, Michigan explains, "Apparently, the level of suckitude with which Michigan is associated is actually inherent to Michigan itself. To try to extract the suckitude ...
Ann Arbor “Just a Friendly Person”
ANN ARBOR--Long a target of fans of opposing teams, Ann Arbor has heard it all. Tales of Arbor's sexual promiscuity have often inspired slogans and t-shirts containing popular phrases like "Ann Arbor is a Whore" or "Whats the difference between Ann Arbor and a porcupine? There are 100,000 pricks on the inside of Ann Arbor." "I just want to be left alone," Arbor said. "Yes, I've done some things and some people in the past I'm not proud of, but haven't we all? And that second joke isn't ...
It’s Going Global!
...
A Report from Behind the Lines
I've got a mole in the Michigan Fan Base. We'll call him Deep TeaKup. He'll understand why. He may even laugh, but Michigan fans are not known for their senses of humor. A photo of a typical Michigan Fan. Now, why would TeaKup give up any insider information about Michigan? Well, for one, he's from Canada, and ever since Benedict Arnold sold out, Canadians have had a long and proud tradition of backstabbing. And for another thing, everything he's about to share with us is something ...