This past weekend I saw a very intimidating guy with huge “canons” for arms, more tatoos than I’d ever seen, food from last week falling from his beard, and a leather jacket that said “Hell’s Angels” walk into a Starbucks. Figuring he was about to hold up the joint, smash a few things, take a young, nubile barista as his wench, and generally live up to his stereotype, I followed him right in. Well, that and I really, really needed a nice hot chocolate because scotch and driving rarely mix. Anyway, Mr. Tough Guy didn’t do any of that. Nah. Instead he smiled at the barista who smiled back and said “Hey, James. Usual?” To which James replied yes. And that young barista whipped up a grande no whip mocha. A sign of the apocalypse? No. Just another sign of the pansification of America, and College Football is its next victim.
There was a time that college football represented all that was wonderful and rugged about America. There was a time that football meant hitting the other guy harder than he hit you. And if the calls went your way, swell. If the calls went against ya, bummer. You didn’t moan about how unfair it all is. You didn’t cry. You just hit the other guy harder. Well, dear readers, those days are over. For starters, I haven’t seen a single player spasm for minutes after a hit by a safety, and we’re already into week 4 of the 2006 season. Secondly, what I have seen, and heard, and read, and received via radio-waves from secret government satellites directed at my mind is that, gosh darnit, it’s all just so unfair!
What are we teaching the leaders of tomorrow if we can’t teach them this simple truth in life: Life is unfair, but you can always hit someone in the mouth. And when you really get screwed, you can hit harder.
America is about overcomming obstacles. Sometimes those obstacles come in the form of inept replay officials. Other times, those obstacles come in the form of national television play-by-play announcers with just a little too much love for the hooch. Football used to provide a wonderful little metaphor about life: If there’s someone standing in your way, either run over him or around him, or you lose. Today, it seems, football provides another metaphor: If there’s someone in your way, throw your sippy-cup to the ground, stomp your feet, and have a hissy-fit.
It’s not too late for College Football. It can be saved, but we, as fans, must do the saving. Demand more from your coaches. Demand more from your players. Demand that your team stand up and be that bright shining beacon for the S.S. College Football, desperately lost in a sea of bitching and moaning.
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-15 - November 15, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-08 - November 8, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-01 - November 1, 2009
Deep TeaKup
Kind of like the way some ND fans used to whine that academic requirements were the only thing holding ND back.
domer.mq
I’m pretty sure the only people whining about Notre Dame’s academic requirements ended up going to Michigan.
krizoitz
You mean like all the Domer’s whining after last years loss to USC and that forward fumble by Leinert or the “Bush Push”?
domer.mq
krizoitz, I’m sorry. Did I mention that all Domers are immune to the pansification? Or did I simply state that the college football world is falling prey to this trend? How’s the ole’ reading comprehension skills?
Bad Kermit
Q, don’t you know to immediately disregard anything that is said by someone who calls ND students “Domers”? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go order some ‘zaa with my ‘rents.
domer.mq
Wait. I call myself a domer. I’m such a loser!
krizoitz
Hey Bad Kermit, you did notice that the author of this blog goes by that moniker right? I know plenty of ND students and alum who refer to themselves as Domer’s.
domer.mq, perhaps you didn’t exclude ND from your critcism, but you didn’t include them either, and frankly all of these are pretty legitimate things to complain about, but unlike Oklahoma, LSU and USC aren’t trying to void a game because of it. So in Oklahoma’s case you have a point.
Bad Kermit
Hey, krizoitz, you did notice that I haven’t posted a single serious thing on this site yet, right?