As Kermit mentioned yesterday, The Smith was fired from The Michigan State University. Today the speculatin' and hootin' and hollerin' and what-not begin. And a Michigan (SUCKS!) paper has mentioned the unmentionable as a possible candidate for the job: Tyrone Willingham, University of Washington head coach Pros: Former MSU player has integrity and extensive head-coaching experience. Also has NFL ties. Con: Coaching ability disproved questioned when fired from Notre Dame. Lord, I ...
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I Wanna Party With These Guys!
The guys at IRT have reminded us that images of war-torn Slavic nation states that make viewers wonder why those poor people would even bother to keep on living can come from anywhere, including Columbus, OH. Little did I know, Columbus, OH is actually in Detroit. [youtube]PahHn2WxUlI[/youtube] ...
Nut Sacked!
EAST LANSING, Mich.--It's official. Spartan football coach John The Smith will not be retained after the 2006 season. It's over, Johnny. In honor of his great legacy and in preparation of his impending unemployment, HLS has compiled the following list of jobs which might be more suitable for a man of Smith's abilities: Howard Dean campaign manager Assist in the completion of Crazy Horse Memorial in South Dakota Intern: Bethlem Royal Hospital Backup singer for Gnarls ...
Spartans Call Press Conference to Consider Hiring Head Football Coach
EAST LANSING, Mich.--Jahn El Smythe's days in East Lansing may be numbered. And that number may be one. Michigan State has called a press conference to take place at 1:30 p.m. EST to "discuss the coaching situation." Possible coaching topics for the press conference were revealed exclusively to HLS. John L. Smith or Tom Cruise: Whose Issues are Bigger? Stumbling Upon Your Ass: Things to do When Looking for a Hole in the Ground Protecting the 50-Yard Line: The 35-Yard Line of ...
Kinchen Benched for Using 3rd Grade Language
ESPN benched ESPNU commentator Brian Kinchen after his recent remarks made during the NIU-Iowa game. Kinchen was describing how receivers need to have soft and "tender" hands to catch and "caress" the ball. His next sentence? "...that's kind of gay, but hey..."   During the next play Kinchen described a pass as "rad" and said that the receiver was "booking it" for the end zone. Then he wet-willied his co-announcer and told him he wouldn't be his Best Co-worker anymore if he ...
The Insane Bias Continues
So this week there were a few close calls. Close calls for Top 10 teams against unranked, unrespected opponents. In particular, Texas eaked out a win over lowly Texas Tech (5-4) in a comeback. What are the headlines?  Stuff like "Texas Proves it's a Winner", "McCoy Comes into His Own as a Leader", blah blah blah.  And Tennessee struggled with not-good South Carolina (5-3), pulling out a win there by a touch. This SC is also unranked. Again, glowing headlines about the Vols' "mettle" ...
USC Loses. Media Already on 2nd Step!
You might want to sit down. USC lost this weekend. I know. We didn't expect it either. At least not like this. The media? They'll be ok. We got a therapist working with them, and she says they're progressing nicely thru the stages of mourning. Just looke what little Stewie wrote during his denial phase: And yet, right when it seemed USC was headed for an all-out meltdown, falling behind 33-10 with 4:51 left in the third quarter, John David Booty, Steve Smith and Co. went out and ...
SB Tribune vs. The World
National Media Outlet College Football Experts, Listen up. Eric Hansen, yes, THAT Eric Hansen, of the South Bend Tribune, owns your ass. Some people will never get past the Tyrone Willingham firing. Some people will never be able to get past the contract extension. Some people will resent him writing a book just a year into his head coaching career. Some people feel like they have to weigh in on every sound bite that comes out of Weis' mouth. And that's OK. But if you're going to do ...
domer.mq Shipwrecks on Tortuga. HLS Goes To Pot.
Ahoy! Being on this pirate isle, I saw about 20 seconds of the game yesterday because, well, it's Navy, and in 20 seconds we scored. Twice. That and time on this island is relative, and I have no idea to what. Anyway, dear readers, the HLS staff is, I'm sure, busy working on some excellent content today, so be sure to check back soon! I leave you with this thought: BBQ turtle. It rules. So too does rum. Mmmm... Rummy, rum, rum, rum. I love rum. I'm a pirate, bitches. ...
HLS Expert Picks: Week 9 – Anchors Away!
Despite the fact that ND is not playing Purdue, this may well be the most boring week of the college football all season. Luckily Notre Dame gets to renew it's "rivalry" with Navy this weekend, and we here at HLS would just like to say it's an honor, Navy dudes. The Big Game: Notre Dave vs. Navy The Other One: Texas vs. Texas Tech The One Nobody Will Watch (Unless they want to see if UNC's fired coach can FINALLY win one, oh the irony!): Wake vs. UNC ...