I’m told this fellow attended no fewer than three colleges. Though he learned about criminal justice at one of them, he obviously did not major in communication studies at any of them.

I understand that newspapermen can be a tough crowd. Plenty of Notre Dame officials and student-athletes have had to face the glare of the bright lights and the shouted questions of the rabble, defended by nothing more than a podium and their wits. As an educator, I will take this opportunity to show how one should handle the loyal opposition…er…I mean the media. I present to you a hypothetical press conference.

[We enter in medias res.*]

Coach Kelly’s contract was just renewed for another five years. Since he hasn’t won a championship, hasn’t produced a Heisman winner, and lost his most recent bowl game to a far superior coach whom you couldn’t lure to Notre Dame, isn’t it clear that you’ve settled for annual mediocrity and given up on Irish football greatness?

You must have graduated from the University in the 1960s. Brian Kelly is an excellent coach. He has over 200 victories, 55 of them with the Fighting Irish. We competed for the National Championship in 2012, a season in which we were ranked first on the football field and first in graduation success rate. That had never been done before. He is a good family man, a pillar of the community, and a snappy dresser with a dazzling array of tartan sport coats. Though in the past he may have toyed with the idea of coaching a professional football team, he has come to appreciate what Ara Parseghian knew, Dan Devine experienced, and Lou Holtz learned the hard way – it’s far more rewarding to stay at Notre Dame than to go anywhere else. The NFL isn’t for everyone…just ask Nick Saban.

I have a follow-up screed. But Kelly obviously can’t recruit. He had a lackluster class this year, falling far behind the likes of Alabama, Florida State, and even Michigan. By the way, did you see the glory and majesty that was Michigan’s “Signing of the Stars?” You must admit that Jim Harbaugh is indeed touched with the purest magic.

Since there was no interrogative sentence in there, I can’t really answer a question. But I can reflect on your flight of fancy. Coach Kelly recruits what he needs, and develops what he recruits. Isn’t that the goal? Coach Kelly does not oversign, does not revoke scholarships, and does not deceive his players. They will have to work as hard in the classroom as on the field, and graduation is their ultimate goal. After all, this is Notre Dame, not Alabama.

Since I’m fixated and rude, I’ll continue my panegyric to The Harbaugh, blessed be he. How could Notre Dame have fallen so far, that no less than Lou Holtz joined The Harbaugh on stage to serenade the Michigan recruits and fans with a ballad to the greatness of Big Blue? Clearly Notre Dame’s shameless and dastardly cancellation of the series with Michigan caused one of its most devoted acolytes to convert to the one true faith in The Harbaugh, all praise and honor to him.

While you befoul yourself in ecstasy, let me point out once again, that scheduling difficulties on both sides of the Notre Dame-Michigan series necessitated a temporary hiatus. It is out of the ordinary that Notre Dame initiated this pause in the action, since it was Michigan that created the original 33-year rift after Fielding Yost became inconsolable in the face of his first defeat by Notre Dame. But Michigan fans really need to have some self-respect and stop acting like jilted lovers who hate their former paramours so much that they can’t stop thinking and talking about them. Harbaugh should be happy that he has had the opportunity to get his (clay) feet under him without having to fight the Irish. The series will commence again, and Harbaugh will have his shot, since his electronic leash doesn’t allow him to be farther than 50 feet from his Michigan keepers.

As for Lou Holtz, he was returning a favor as any man of integrity is expected to do. Michigan had him for a day, but since Holtz has a reservation in Cedar Grove, we have him for eternity. Besides which, Holtz was talking about his experience coaching against the Wolverines; he had no part in recruiting players for Michigan. He remains loyal to Notre Dame, but he is free to participate in events of his choosing. That said, I will not be joining in Jesuit Vocation Awareness Week.

Since my colleague from Ann Arbor has collapsed in a spittle-flecked trance, I’d like to redirect our focus to Notre Dame’s real rival, USC. Pat Haden is stepping down as athletic director, meaning that the momentary stumble before Notre Dame in football will immediately return to a decade of Trojan victories. Ready?

Allow me to wish Pat Haden well. He is a gentleman and a scholar. For several years he called Notre Dame games from our press box along with that older Hammond lady who, I presume, is his wife. May they both have a happy retirement together. Pat did the best he could at USC, but he was truly like Daniel in the Liars’ Den. I would need medical attention, too, if I tried to do that job. As for a replacement, I understand the Manziel fellow is looking for work these days. I know he doesn’t have a college degree, but let’s face it – USC athletics has never been about education. And Manziel’s lifestyle would fit quite nicely with the USC campus ethos. In the alternative, Urban Meyer could take over as USC’s athletic director, since he’s been at Ohio State for four years, and that’s far too long for him to remain at any dream job. Besides, if Urban left the Big Ten, Harbaugh would sleep better…in whichever recruit’s bunk bed he is camping out.

A junior on the football team has just been elected Student Body President. How can he do both?

If Knute Rockne could teach chemistry; serve as athletic director; run the business office and the ticket office; coach track and football; design football equipment, uniforms, and the Stadium; write newspaper columns and books; broker stock and sell Studebakers, all while raising four children, I think our Robinson lad can make the Dean’s List, make the catches to score the touchdowns, and faithfully execute the office of Student Body President all at once. That’s why we recruit scholar-athletes – they’re just more interesting.

Back to Harbaugh. Michigan will be holding football practice over Spring Break in Florida. Isn’t that a hoot! How brilliant of them! But the University of Florida is saying that’s not fair. What’s their problem, and why is Notre Dame so backward?

After a long and cold first half of the semester studying and keeping themselves fit, our scholar-athletes have earned a week’s respite. The University of Florida is angry because it is school policy that Spring Break is for lewd and lascivious behavior, hospitalizations, and arrests, not football practice. And Harbaugh needs to get a life and let his players have their own – one of them is going to take out a restraining order against him sooner or later.

At a recent basketball game, your students stormed the court after defeating top-ranked North Carolina. But don’t Notre Dame students rush the field and storm the court too much? Isn’t it too dangerous?

It’s a game, it’s excitement – deal with it. If we have rules for when and how to spontaneously express emotion, we’ve really gone way too far (though I wouldn’t put it past the Oberkommando der Student Affairs). Games are for cheering, yelling, and when you come from behind to win, running onto the court to celebrate. If you don’t like that, betake yourself up to that quaint little club overlooking the court where you can enjoy a genteel aperitif and canapés without those obnoxious students and fans. And just wait until we open the Decadence Boxes in the Stadium addition – fainting couches and intravenous booze delivery will make it more silent that a church on Good Friday.

How can a supposedly Catholic school permit an event like the Keenan Revue which annually manages to insult everybody and crosses every boundary of taste and decorum?

It’s vulgar, obscene, and bawdy. It’s just what this place needs. For those offended, I have extra Holy Water to use as eye-wash and ear-rinse. I would make the Holy Oils available, but the dancing lads would just grease themselves up for that smutty kick-line. It’s filth…but it’s our kind of filth.

That’s all the time I have for now. Your questions have been patronizing, condescending, and offensive. I have tried to respond in kind.

And now I’m going to drink a lot of Budweis cheap red wine.

EFS CSC

* This is Latin, students. You would be able to translate it if we still required you to study the great Classical Languages. If you don’t think it’s cool to study Classics, I would remind you that the Englishman who sang at halftime of the Super Bowl graduated with a degree in Latin and Greek…trusa illud in fistulam tuam et id fuma!

Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame, is available from the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore and Amazon. Don’t give it to a Michigan or USC fan…or may be you should…

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Bad Question appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Not surprising that an athletic conference, the source and summit of bad ideas, is the water trough from which a particularly preposterous notion has begun to drip.  It seems the Big Ten (or Big .714, which is what you get when you try to force 14 into 10) is spending all the extra cash it made from Ohio State’s success, on vast quantities of cheap booze.  Like tipsy fez-clad Shriners running around their conference hotel late at night, the Big Ten pundits have come up with a Very Bad Idea.  Unlike the Shriners, these brilliant plans have nothing to do with plastic wrap on toilet bowls, but pertain to meddling with football and basketball eligibility.  In short, the Big Ten wants to bar all freshmen from playing football and basketball.  Well, not all freshmen – just the lads.  This sounds like it was thought up by an angry nun presiding over a roomful of rumbustious sixth-graders, who won’t let the naughty boys play outside at recess, but instead is making them stay in and write-out Bible verses.  The Big Ten is angry because their boys aren’t graduating much when they play football and basketball; thus, they are creating this so-called “Year of Readiness.”

No, this won’t send high school players running to the SEC like their hair is on fire.  No, this won’t create a “Year of Slacking and Frustrated Acting-Out.”  No, this won’t generate a system of fifth-year graduate students taking ghost classes so they can play one last season.  To think those things you’d have to be cynical…or realistic.  And, No, this isn’t unfair, even though it does not include half of the student population and none of the other sports.

It is true that graduation rates need to be improved for football and basketball players.  But I have a more radical solution: Make them work as hard as their classmates who play nothing more than Checkers.  It seems to have worked pretty well for us, since we often have the best football graduation success rate in the nation.  Too bad it has prevented us from being #1 in the football rankings – except when it hasn’t.  The Big Ten believes this will begin a “national conversation.”  I believe the conversation will begin with, “What the Hel heck is this?  Were they wearing fezzes and drunkenly running around a conference hotel late at night when they came up with this idea?  The “Year of Readiness” is about as attractive as a big, sharp, icicle ready to fall on someone’s head.”

Unfortunately, the Big Ten isn’t the only leaky gutter dripping Very Bad Ideas.  It seems our own University is toying with the notion of dropping the Philosophy and Theology requirement.  Well, not exactly dropping it, but making it more user-friendly.  Instead of a boring course in dreary old Aquinas, students can study Catholic painters to learn about God.  Like Caravaggio, who loved to paint Biblical figures either cutting off heads or getting their heads cut off.  He was also an inveterate gambler besotted with insatiable and diverse carnal appetites, as well as a murderer.  But dam darn, could he paint St. Paul falling off a horse’s as butt!

I didn’t hammer a holy Cross into the frozen ground of Northern Indiana, in weather just like this, to have my University decide studying about some Jesus guy was taking up too much time in busy students’ schedules.  And who’s got the chapped hindquarters about Philosophy?  It’s the study of…studying.  It teaches you how to think.  Call me old-fashioned, but that really should be the goal of a higher education.  Maybe a couple of Philosophy classes in the “Year of Readiness” would teach Big Ten “student”-athletes how to think through the merits of studying, passing, and graduating.

Maybe it’s all the excess time spent cooped up inside that causes these Very Bad Ideas to form.  I’ve often blamed spending four years living in Zahm or Dillon for warping young minds, four years of living in Morrissey for warping young hygiene.  At least here we haven’t seen the Very Bad Idea of jumping out second and third-story windows into snowdrifts.  Apparently this fad has developed in Boston.  Sure, going to BC is miserable and humiliating, but it’s no reason to hurt yourself.

So, my advice is as follows: Big Ten, if you can’t graduate your football and basketball players, tighten your own belt; Core-Curriculum Review Committee, cancel the Theology requirement, and you might find yourselves in hot water (and hot everything else) at the end of your earthly lives – cancel Theology and Philosophy, and you might as well have us join the ever-ready Big Ten; and lads who are thinking of jumping out a window into the snow, go play football on the quad or basketball in the Rock…and never, ever, attend a Jesuit school.

EFS CSC

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Bad Ideas appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Confusing times such as these call for reflection.  And so, I address these conundrums, and like the pool in front of the Library (but with much less duck poop), I reflect:

Strange Signs in the Sky – Football in the descendant, Basketball in the ascendant

Well, I suppose I wouldn’t say football is falling, but the season certainly fell apart.  There’s always next season and the hope that brings; and at least we didn’t have a Michigan season (“Michigan” now synonymous with “shambolic, laughably bad”).  But where did this basketball team come from?  Were these Fighting Irish born under a star?  Teams from the East keep coming to see them, not to do homage, but to lose.  This team fights through adversity, comes from behind, never says die, and does it again and again.  These Irish make amazing baskets, play tough, and refuse to let up on themselves or their teammates even into overtime.  It must be said that the basketball team could only have learned these noble traits from the football team which, aside from having all the championships, is a full 11 years older than the basketball team, and therefore the athletic and spiritual mentor.

Even the basketball arena is doing better than the football Stadium.  Ned Joyce’s big top has a winning percentage of .793 since the ringmaster opened it in 1968, while Notre Dame Stadium has a winning percentage of only .758 since Rockne built it in 1930.  So I say, well done, Ned; Stadium, get your act together.  I look forward to the Tournament, the only playoff system I like…because it’s old and I have no choice.

A Mysterious Metamorphosis – When is a football stadium not a football stadium

As anyone knows who has tried to walk to a business class or a game in the Rev. Edmund P. Joyce, CSC, Athletic and Convocation Center, there is some sort of strip-mining operation going on around the Stadium.  Like an 80,000-seat caterpillar, the House the Rockne Built is become the House of Football, Anthropology, Psychology, Music, and Recreation – a collegiate butterfly of truly monumental proportions.  The project is…interesting; and since they’ve moved more dirt than it took to build the Panama Canal, the project is…inevitable.  So quit complaining.

It’s progress, people!  The Joyce Center isn’t winning any beauty pageants (though it looks suggestively like something one of the contestants might wear), but it’s a tremendous improvement over the old Fieldhouse.  That was a truss-roof warehouse with a castellated façade stuck onto it.  Today it would pass for a Camelot-themed restaurant, or a park where children play golf against moving windmills, clown mouths, and fake Medieval fortresses.  It was hot in spring and summer, cold in fall and winter, and had a cinder track for most of its history.  It was torn down over the protests of those who felt the campus was losing its tradition.  All that’s left is a square block of bricks with a brass plaque, and no one knows why the patch around the Druid fountain is called Fieldhouse Mall.

Don’t try to tell me that sticking classrooms and a student center onto the Stadium moves the “heart” of campus away from the Main Building and Sacred Heart.  That was done when they started building on my farm.  There are already classroom buildings next to and beyond the Stadium.  And good luck explaining the concept of a “heart of the campus” to any lad living in Carroll Hall.  If I had wanted the Main building to be the hub of a radiating wheel, I wouldn’t have built it and the church on top of two waterholes (which REALLY did look like one).  Walk out of either building and you can roll down the hill, past the Grotto, and into the Lake.  Believe me, I saw a sophomore from New Jersey do it once.  The Main Building may have been the heart and entirety of campus at one time, but these days the only reason most students go in there is because they got caught making hooch in a dorm room; or because a lad got caught with Jane Hooch in his dorm room after midnight.  And most students don’t even go to Sacred Heart on Sunday.  They wake up around noon, lie on a fainting couch eating cold pizza all day, and then at the appointed non-canonical hour, they go to the dorm worship space in their pajamas to blow up balloons and sing “Be Not Afraid.”

Real versus Fantasy – The intrusion of professional football

All Americans are commanded to focus their attention on professional football for its annual halftime show surrounded by a final game.  Not satisfied with one weekend of fawning attention, the league has manufactured a sham controversy about withering footballs.  I know why the New England team took air out of their footballs – to prepare for Pete Carroll who loved that old trick at USC.  And when New England trots out the quarterback and the head coach to assure us they did nothing wrong, pardon me if I have trouble believing a Michigan man and the basta fellow who recommended Charlie Weis to us as a great hire.  I really don’t care if there’s too much air or not enough air in the footballs come Sunday.  I say we fill them with hydrogen like a German blimp and see what happens.

Yet, college football, with its shiny new playoff, continues to try to be more like professional football, because it’s “The Real World.”  When was the last time a college student wanted life to hurry up and become the real world?  You already have tyrannical bosses who impose unrealistic expectations and unreasonable deadlines; you already have noisy and nosy neighbors, and if you live in Cavanaugh you have a house next door full of ill-behaved children; you already pay too much rent for too little space, and if you live in Morrissey it’s in a slum.  Besides, you can’t drink in the library in the real world…most of the time.

If we want college football to be like the NFL, why don’t we build an oversized municipal stadium housing decadent luxury boxes, charging obscene amounts of money for tickets, named for some product-sponsor, and slinging overpriced beer?  Hmmm…I don’t think we’ll sell naming rights, and I’ll renew my annual appeal for Stadium beer sales.  My point is, with what goes on off the field in the NFL, which is a bit more serious than cheat-sheets and phantom ladyfriends, we at the collegiate level should not aspire to be more like the professional system – unless you’re the SEC or FSU, in which case your scandals are already on par with the NFL, if not just a little worse.

The Hand of the Divine

With all these inversions, reversals, signs, and situations, we are clearly receiving a message from God.  Long ago, he used the Flood of Noah and the destruction of the Tower of Babel to communicate his disfavor.  Today, He is more subtle when he alerts us that He wants us to do His will.  To me the message is clear: He wants us to sacrifice the Jesuits on the altar of the Joyce Center next week, when Boston College falls to Irish Home Victory #601.

EFS CSC

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Beating the Conundrums appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: 2014 Bowl Games

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions. Images courtesy The Helmet Project.

Rank	Team		Record	Weekly Change
1		Alabama	12-1	—
2		Oregon	12-1	—
3		Florida State	13-0	—
4		Texas Christian	11-1	—

Also receiving votes: Baylor.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. TCU
4. Florida State

@AuburnElvis

1. Oregon – The only 1-loss team that got a do-over made the most of it.
2. Alabama – Beating Mizzou like a drum means Bama’s easily the 5-or-6th-best team in the Big 10 East
3. TCU – Sorry, Baylor, your best non-conference victory was Buffalo. And if this were the NFL Buffalo instead of the NCAA Buffalo, that would mean something.
4. Florida State – If Ohio State had lost to any decent team on their schedule, I’d have no trouble putting the Buckeyes in over an undefeated FSU team that struggled with a weaker schedule (and considering OSU’s in the Big 10, that’s saying something.) But at the end of the day, barely beating 3 mediocre, ranked teams, and barely beating 6 not-very-good teams was all you needed to do. Congratulations.

@HawkeyeElvis

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Florida State
4. Baylor

@IrishElvis

1. Florida State – I dislike just about everything about this team, but if you win all your games and don’t have a horrendous strength-of-schedule (FSU’s is ranked 37th — ahead of TCU, Ohio State, and Baylor), you should be rewarded with the top slot. The actual committee’s conundrum with teams 4-6 began when they demoted an undefeated and defending national champion out of the #1 spot, in my opinion.
2. Oregon – Avenged their sole loss. It doesn’t always work this cleanly, but they made good on their opportunity to clear any remaining doubts.
3. Alabama – a Bama/Oregon semifinal would be a fascinating clash of styles. Bring it on!
4. Baylor -Conference co-champions? Let’s check the results on October 11…

The post TCB Poll: College Football Playoff appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 14

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions. Images courtesy The Helmet Project.

Rank	Team		Record	Weekly Change
1		Alabama	11-1	+2
2		Oregon	11-1	-1
3		Florida State	12-0	-1
4		Texas Christian	10-1	—

Also receiving votes: Baylor.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

1. Alabama – Nick Saban has a process to his program. The process is working great and without a huge upset by Missouri in the SEC Championship Game, the Tide will be the #1 team.
2. Oregon – With the Heisman front runner playing great football right now, the Ducks are ready to compete for the National Title.
3. TCU – I don’t see Iowa State taking them down and they seem to be a good 3rd seed
4. Florida State – I have been saying all year, the defending National Champion that is undefeated deserves to be in the top 4 if not the top spot. Had Ohio State not lost their QB they might have jumped Florida State in this poll. I hope they are #4 so we can get a Saban vs. Fisher opening round match.

@AuburnElvis

1. Oregon – They seem to have worked out their early-season OL problems. If they trounce Arizona, they’ll likely be the #1 or #2 overall seed.
2. Alabama – I don’t expect the Tide to have much trouble with Mizzou, a team that couldn’t beat Indiana at home.
3. TCU – The Horned Frogs blasted Texas while Baylor struggled with Texas Tech. Head-to-head says Baylor should be here, but I honestly don’t see the Bears beating Kansas State.
4. Florida State – Will lose to Georgia Tech and let Ohio State or Wisconsin slip into the #4 spot. Hilarity will ensue.

@HawkeyeElvis

1. Alabama – Lots of Head Coaching jobs out there for Kiffin. How long does he stay under Uncle Nick’s wing?
2. Oregon – Speaking of wings, I’m really looking forward to the Ducks playoff opponent.
3. TCU – I had earlier penalized the Frogs for a close win against an inferior opponent. I had to do the same to Baylor. Plus I think the Bears get beat by that old wizard Bill Snyder.
4. Florida State – Almost losing to Florida this year should be grounds for keeping them out of the playoffs altogether.

@IrishElvis

1. Florida State – Undefeated 2 years running? I can’t leave ’em off my top spot.
2. Oregon – If their assistant coaching ranks are poached by vacant head coaching jobs between now & the playoff, then I’ll be nervous. For now, I still trust them (and Marcus Mariota’s efficiency) more than Lane Kiffin.
3. Alabama – Their best is enough to beat anybody, but they’ve shown a startling inconsistency for long stretches during the season (longer than FSU, certainly).
4. Baylor – I have to put them in here over TCU, simply because I think actual head-to-head results should matter more than numerical hypotheticals.

The TCB Poll predicted 3-of-4 teams submitted by the College Football Playoff Committee last week, who (as it turns out) gave too much credit to Mississippi State. Barring any unforeseen results in the final weekend, this should be how the playoff shakes out.

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Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 13

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions. Images courtesy The Helmet Project.

Rank	Team		Record	Weekly Change
1		Oregon	10-1	+1
2		Florida State	11-0	-1
3		Alabama	10-1	—
4		Texas Christian	9-1	—

Also receiving votes: Mississippi State, Ohio State, Baylor.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

LSU used to play for the Golden Boot on the last weekend of the season, now we play Texas A&M for a trophy that does not exist yet. Oh well…Top 4 going into the final week:

1. Florida State – Still the defending national champs and only unbeaten should be the #1 team each season. Can the Muschamp crew pull off a miracle to take them down in the final week?
2. Alabama – Iron Bowl has been pretty dramatic the last few years. I hope it continues
3. Oregon – I want to see the Ducks and The Tide go head to head in the first playoff game
4. Mississippi State – Egg Bowl vs. Ole Miss.

On Deck: Ohio State, Baylor and TCU

@AuburnElvis

Rivalry Week is here! Throw out all the records (that work against whatever teams you’re pulling for) and get ready for the chaos.

1. Oregon – Ducks never say die.
2. Bama – Sure, whatever.
3. TCU – If Baylor beats Texas Tech soundly, I’ll be willing to move the Bears over TCU b/c of their head-to-head… but I won’t feel good about it.
4. FSU – Will Muschamp… if ever there was a time for your neurotic, bi-polar, Boom-tastic powers to produce a win Florida has no business getting on their own, it’s now. Vaya con Dios.

@HawkeyeElvis

Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to give up drinking. Between a close basketball loss on Friday to a ranked team and an even closer football on Saturday to a ranked team, Hawkeye Elvis has a whole Mess of Blues.My Top 4 with two weeks to go:

1. Oregon – Calmly, methodically moving its way through the remainder of its schedule. Kind of like a serial killer.
2. Alabama – Dear Karmic Football Gods/Deliverers of Delicious Irony, how about an improbably Auburn victory on Saturday. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as last year, but that would be kinda neat.
3. Florida State – Now the Gators beating the Seminoles this week, THAT would be hilarious.
4. Mississippi State – Out goes the Big 12. Clanga’s 5-point loss at Alabama is the best of the 1-lossers.

On deck: Ohio State (how in the blue hell did they lose to Virginia Tech?), TCU (wakes up in a cold sweat at night recalling their loss to Baylor), Baylor (used up all its luck in coming back to beat TCU, none left for the WV loss).

@IrishElvis

1. Florida State – I’m curious if there’s *anything* Jameis Winston could do at this point to be declared ineligible. I mean, he’s running out of shenanigans to pull.
2. Oregon – Prime time road game. Easy way to lose national respect…or solidify your playoff spot.
3. TCU – Will Texas make a late-season surge under Charlie Strong? Will TCU keep their offense in overdrive? Will I escape the clutches of tryptophan to watch this game?
4. Alabama – Methinks the Dark Lord Saban will not leave anything to chance in this year’s Iron Bowl, but my allegiance is with Auburn Elvis.

First 3 out: Ohio State, Mississippi State, Baylor.

The TCB Poll went 3-for-4 last week in advance of the Playoff Committee rankings, with MSU making the Committee’s cut over the Elvii’s pick of TCU.

The post TCB Poll: Week 13 Reactions appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 12

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions. Images courtesy The Helmet Project.

Rank	Team		Record	Weekly Change
1		Florida State	10-0	+1
2		Oregon	9-1	+1
3		Alabama	9-1	+2
4		Texas Christian	9-1	—

Also receiving votes: Ohio State, Mississippi State, Baylor.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

1. Florida State – The defending national champs are the only unbeaten among the big conferences. That should place them at the top.
2. Alabama – Nick Saban will have this team prepared to play in the playoffs
3. Oregon – I want to see the Ducks and The Tide go head to head in the first playoff game
4. Mississippi State – Tough loss on the road to Alabama. They win out then they should have a shot to play for the title in the playoffs.

On Deck: Ohio State, Baylor and TCU.

@AuburnElvis

Every week, just more disappointment and heartbreak. The good guys keep losing and the bad guys keep winning. It’s enough to make a football Elvis turn to booze and pills. Thankfully, we have this poll as a reason to get up Monday mornings and put on the ol’ jumpsuit.

1. Oregon – Kings of the bye week, the Ducks got to sit back and watch the other contenders lose or struggle.
2. Alabama – If they can beat a reeling Auburn team at home in 2 weeks, they’ll win the SEC West, and likely advance into the playoffs after winning the SEC Championship.
3. FSU – Pulled off another characteristic escape against what should be an inferior opponent. Boston College, Florida, and the ACC Coastal Champion are all that stand between this team and the playoffs.
4. TCU – Struggled at Kansas, but it doesn’t matter. Unless Baylor beats OK State and Kansas State, the close Baylor head-to-head result doesn’t sway me.

5, 6, & 7 – Mississippi State, Ohio State, Baylor. The Bulldogs are out unless TCU continues to struggle and Baylor loses. Same situation for the Buckeyes, PLUS Mississippi State has to lose to Ole Miss. If Baylor wins out, I expect they’ll jump into TCU’s spot.

@HawkeyeElvis

I truly feel for my Elvii brethren this week. But that’s why we have another game this week to chase out those demons from the last. Bye-bye Clanga from my Top 4. Out of respect for Auburn Elvis, I will keep Bama out of the top spot.

1. Florida State – One of these days, they will run into a team that keeps a double-digit lead throughout the game.
2. Alabama – Gets a bye week against Western Carolina.
3. Oregon – Wisely chose not to play this week. The Pac-12 title is there for the taking.
4. Baylor – Yep. I’m sticking with the Bears. They own the head-to-head against TCU and they didn’t almost lose to Kansas.

On deck: Ohio State, TCU, Mississippi State.

Here we all thought there would be a fight over 1-loss teams. There could be a BIG fight over 2-loss teams in a couple of weeks.

@IrishElvis

1. Florida State – adios, MSU. Sole undefeated team needs the top spot, no matter how much I loathe their off-field activity or their first half boredom.
2. Oregon – bumps up a spot. Don’t lose focus, Quacks.
3. TCU – I’ll reward you for hanging on against an inferior team this week, if only because a 1st round spread offense playoff on New Year’s Day vs. 2-seed Oregon would be incredible to watch
4. Alabama – toughest schedule to date, so they schedule a D-II opponent (note: it’s never the right time to schedule a D-II opponent). They have a good number of weapons in their arsenal, but they’ll need to avoid a loss in the coming weeks.

First 3 out: Ohio State, Mississippi State, Baylor.

The TCB Poll nailed all 4 teams again last week in advance of the Playoff Committee rankings, transposing only FSU & Oregon. With all the shuffling this week, it will be interesting to see what the Committee presents.

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Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 11

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions.

Rank	Team		Record	Weekly Change
1		Mississippi State	9-0	—
2		Florida State	9-0	—
3		Oregon	9-1	+1
4		Texas Christian	8-1	+1

Also receiving votes: Alabama, Baylor.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

Only two of my top four from last week survived with Mississippi State and Florida State staying alive but Michigan State and Auburn getting beat….so who moves up to the new #3 and #4 spots?

1. Mississippi State – playing Alabama this week to determine if they continue down the perfect road
2. Florida State – I don’t see Miami pulling off this upset
3. Alabama – playing Mississippi State this week is quite the game
4. Oregon – I guess they will win out but I will be surprised if they win a playoff game

@AuburnElvis

Terrible weekend for the good guys. When’s basketball season start?

1. Mississippi State – Come on, Bulldogs. Don’t let us down. Even at home, Bama’s venerable.
2. Oregon – Looking really good right now. If they keep It up, they’re in.
3. TCU – Should win out and I doubt Baylor will. So, I expect the onetime mid-major to make the playoffs.
4. Florida State – Barring a Miami or Florida upset, the Seminoles will take the 4th spot with the B1G 10 being left out.

@HawkeyeElvis

We creep towards the final playoff spots with about six or seven truly legit contenders.

1. Mississippi State – Clanga is still the king and will cement that role if they can survive Tuscaloosa on Saturday. ‘Bama is juuuuuusst outside looking in pending this matchup.
2. Florida State – When was the last time the entire nation was rooting for Miami?
3. Oregon – Stays in pending a win against Arizona State in the Pac-12 Championship game.
4. Baylor – Is TCU more impressive right now? Undoubtedly. But the Bears have that all-important head-to-head win over the Frogs.

And now for my very special Heartbreak Hotel edition for the four of us. Most heartbreaking losses of the weekend.

1. LSU vs. Alabama – @TheLSUElvis got to meet Tebow, so I guess that’s something.
2. Auburn vs. Texas A&M – You can still have a good season if you beat Bama.
3. Notre Dame vs. Arizona State – A 10-2 finish is still very possible.
4. Iowa vs. Minnesota – Froze my ass off while watching my team get thumped in a trophy game. Living and working in Minneapolis is not going to be very fun this week.

@IrishElvis

1. Mississippi State
2. Florida State
3. Oregon
4. TCU

I’m leaving my four unchanged again this week. Head-to-head says Baylor > TCU, but I think the Bears have another loss in them yet this year.

On another note: last week the TCB Poll exactly matched the teams & order presented by the College Football Playoff Committee. Which just goes to show you: when you need sage football counsel, always trust 4 men in sequined attire.

The post TCB Poll: Week 11 Reactions appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 10

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions.

Also receiving votes: TCU, Michigan State.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

1. Mississippi State – Dak Prescott had an off week but that might motivate him more down the home stretch to keep the Bulldogs at the top
2. Florida State – unless Florida or their opponent in the ACC championship game pull off a huge upset, FSU appears to be able to hold off and finish undefeated for the year
3. Michigan State – I think they will beat Ohio State and the SEC west teams will all beat each other up and the Spartans will look good as a third seed
4. Auburn – I think Auburn will win the Iron bowl and be put into the top 4…at least there will be a chance for one of our Elvii brothers to win a national title this year

@AuburnElvis

The home stretch. All of the 1-loss and undefeated teams (well, except for Marshall) are making the final push towards the playoffs. The Rebels, Wildcats, and Utes are out. Who’ll be next?

1. Mississippi State – They play UT-Martin this week, then Bama. If they beat Bama, they’ll likely win the SEC. So… no pressure, Bulldogs.
2. Auburn (or Alabama) – If they keep winning against the nation’s toughest schedule, they’ll keep making the top-4.
3. TCU (or Kansas State) – With no more above-.500 teams on the schedule, a TCU victory this week is all they’ll need to finish 11-1 & make the playoffs. Even if Kansas State wins, they still have to visit West Virginia and Baylor.
4. Oregon – The Ducks look really good right now. Of course, they always look good… right until they lose unexpectedly to some Pac-12 team.

@HawkeyeElvis

Nice wins boys! We finally had a weekend where nobody lost! Things are getting moderately clearer in the Hawkeye Elvis playoff picture, with things REALLY coming into focus after this coming Saturday. But for now…

1. Mississippi State – I think it’s pretty clear that Arkansas is going to get SOMEONE. They darn near got Alabama and almost did the same to Clanga. I have the Bulldogs still on track for an SEC Title.
2. Florida State – Every story is only as good as its villain. The Seminoles are this year’s bad guys. Another rally, another win. The rest of the country going to bed mad.
3. Auburn – They are going to have to win out to stay in this spot and stay in the playoffs. One false move and Michigan State or Alabama step into this spot.
4. Oregon – Welcome back quackers! Get through Utah and probably Arizona State and you get the last spot.

Auburn Elvis, enjoy your opponent this week while the rest of us have nail-biters.

@IrishElvis

1. Mississippi State
2. Florida State
3. Oregon
4. TCU

I’m swapping out TCU for ND this week. Notre Dame alternated between dominance and inconsistency (the latter aided by in-game injuries) against Navy, whereas TCU looked inconsistent early but good enough late against West Virginia. TCU’s schedule strength to date pushes them up to my fourth slot.

I’m sure everyone at ESPN will electrocute me for saying this, but right about now the old BCS system of “#1 vs #2” seems like it would work just dandy this year. Of course, if either MSU or FSU stumble then we’ll be happy to have a four-team playoff.

The post TCB Poll: Week 10 Reactions appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Image courtesy @AuburnElvis

Playoff Rankings: Week 9

Each week, the T.C.B. Poll is an aggregate of all our inputs. Scroll down to see individual selections and opinions.

Also receiving votes: TCU, Michigan State, Auburn, Notre Dame.

TCB Committee Member Comments

@TheLSUElvis

1. Mississippi State
2. Florida State
3. Oregon
4. Auburn

@AuburnElvis

Each week we get a better picture of who is, and ain’t, playoff material.

1. Mississippi State – Bow down to the dogs, y’all.
2. Alabama (or any other 1-loss SEC West team)
3. TCU – If the Horned Frogs get past West Virginia and Kansas State these next 2 weeks, they’re in for sure.
4. Florida State – Struggling through half their games, FSU is probably the 10th-best team in the nation, yet with their schedule, that’s good enough for a playoff bid. I envy the other playoff team that’ll get matched against them.

@HawkeyeElvis

There are a couple of clear-cut choices, but right now, the Magic 8-Ball says: “Ask again later”.

1. Mississippi State – Sure Kentucky was moderately dangerous but did you ever really feel that Clanga wasn’t in full control? I think they are going to be the only SEC team to make it through unscathed. I can totally see everyone else in the SEC West ending with two losses. And a two-loss team from the SEC is not getting in ahead of a one-loss team from a Power Five Conference (the ACC notwithstanding).
2. Florida State – Speaking of dangerous places, the Seminoles head to one on Thursday night.
3. Michigan State? – I think Sparty has the clearest path (outside of FSU) with just one moderately challenging game left. I think they run the table and get a spot.
4. Oregon? – Let’s say Quack for now. Again, they shouldn’t be challenged the rest of the way and already got their yearly inexplicable loss out of the way.

@IrishElvis

1. Mississippi State
2. Florida State
3. Oregon
4. Notre Dame

I’m keeping my top four unchanged this week. Mississippi State remains locked in at #1, and Florida State is the only other team unanimously listed.

The SEC West is about to Shake, Rattle, and Roll these next couple weeks, so I’m going to wait another week to see how that goes. Auburn Elvis’ lone vote for Alabama at #2 gets them into the Poll this week (some sort of advance reverse-jinx in preparation for the Iron Bowl, I imagine). We’ll actually get this 1-vs-4 matchup on November 15 when the Bulldogs visit Tuscaloosa. And I notice Hawkeye Elvis has ranked Michigan State over Oregon — the man laughs at on-field evidence to the contrary and does what he pleases. Waiter, I’ll have what he’s having! And a tip of the Hat to LSU Elvis for his Gameday TV time last week…with an assist by Hugh Freeze for trying out out-Miles Les Miles there at the end.

The first actual College Football Playoff Committee results will be released this evening, and we’ll get our first look at how they compare/contrast with Elvis Groupthink. You won’t get any better college football opinions from jumpsuit-wearing pundits than you will right here every Tuesday. Oh, and if you want to see what an eight-team playoff would look like, the “Also Receiving Votes” category would make for a pretty intriguing slate of games.

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