So strap yourselves in for an extremely long post to get all the thoughts in my head that would’ve been shared on the podcast, out and available for internet consumption.

Dabo

Speaking of things getting cancelled within a few hours of going live, let’s go ahead and talk about this Clemson/Florida State postponement thing. In a week where 18 games were either cancelled or postponed, this one took top billing, not just because of the last-minute nature, but because Dabo won’t shut up about it.

We’ve beaten the “Dabo is bad, actually” drum for a while on the pod. Will Leitch tried to tell everyone last August, but too many media folks dismissed it and Notre Dame fans joining the chorus painted as having sour grapes for the Cotton Bowl loss.

Nah, we just know an asshole when we see one.

In Chapter 342384190273 of this story, Dabo spews this bullshit:

It’s a good time to remind everyone that the positive COVID test that made FSU back out came from a Clemson player that travelled with the team. This player had symptoms during the week and, once he initially tested negative, was out practicing with the team, still symptomatic.

It’s also a good time to remind you that FSU had a COVID scare of their own with head coach Mike Norvell testing positive at the beginning of the season.

Clemson had a scare of their own with sure-fire-first-pick Trevor Lawrence getting knocked out due to COVID. You would think that would make them sympathetic to another team wanting to tap the breaks and reschedule in December.

You would also be wrong because, in their biggest game of the season, with their star QB sidelined, Brent Venables was sporting what South Park eloquently coined as a chin-diaper every time the damn camera was on him:

Needless to say, I understand why Florida State would be nervous. Dabo’s reaction confirms they the right choice.

FSU chickening out due to fear of humiliation is a hilarious proposition considering what’s already happened to them season:

• Lost to 2-5 Georgia Tech at home
• Humiliated by rival Miami by 42 points
• Struggled against not-even-close-to-a-FCS-power Jacksonville State for three quarters and trailed at the half.
• Notre Dame easily wins 42-26
• Oh, hey, an upset win against North Carolina. Good job!
• Followed by losing to Louisville by 32. OOPS!
• Oh shit, Pitt: 41-17
• Lost to NC State 38-22

Hot take: they could probably take losing again to one of the best teams in the nation.

Hotter take: they literally had nothing to lose. You win, and holy crap, season highlight! You lose? Oh well, 2-7 now, season still sucks!

But let’s just say for fun that FSU was scared. That doesn’t hold water either because the game would, logically, be played on December 12, much like Notre Dame’s make-up with Wake Forest. Yet, the only person on record against this is Dabo.

Dabo’s protest of rescheduling amounts to holding the rematch hostage, saying FSU either needs to reimburse Clemson for travel costs, pay for a return trip, or come to Death Valley.

Another friendly reminder, Clemson has a football facility worth $55 million and features a plunge pool that can fit 60 people, a sand volleyball court, a whiffle ball bark, a nine-hole miniature golf course, barber shop, shoe shine, nap room, a basketball court, fire pit, basketball course, bowling alley, pool tables, arcade, golf simulator, ping pong tables, and a fuckin’ slide. Dabo is also on a 10-year, $93 million contract.

Before anyone says Clemson or Dabo is actually concerned athletic budgets in These Trying Times and “had” to cut track and field (to save an estimated $2 million a year), I call bullshit. Dabo, nor Clemson, is actually concerned about the Dabo-cited $300K cost of the wasted trip. That’s pocket change in the grand scheme of things.

There’s a reason Dabo is using “forfeit” language in his screed. He doesn’t want to play this game. Why? Because that removes a bye week before the ACC Championship, one that Notre Dame won’t get as they are playing Wake Forest.

Like screaming at refs in Notre Dame stadium after his team commits a clear DPI, Dabo tries to bully his way into a competitive advantage. That’s all this is and that’s his highest priority.

It’s why a symptomatic player was practicing with the team in the first place. Test was negative, go bring your own guts, and get out there. It’s why the player travelled with the team, only to be pulled at the last possible moment. It’s why Dabo screamed at FSU on Sunday, calling them cowards, failing to bring their own guts when Clemson brought their own COVID instead.

Here’s the thing: I actually have no issue with Dabo for fighting so hard for a competitive advantage. What irks me is how Dabo continuously goes about these things. The finger points elsewhere and his performative angers follows. Then, a week later, he’ll “aw shucks” it, quote a Bible verse, and hope the media surrounding him returns to their regularly scheduled worship of him and the false idol that he’s built in South Carolina.

In a just world, the ACC comes out with a statement tomorrow saying that Clemson plays FSU in Tallahassee on 12/12 or Dabo can go pound sand and Notre Dame will have a different opponent on 12/19. If 2020 has proven anything, it’s that the world is decidedly unjust. This won’t happen.

However, 2020 has also proven that anything can and will happen, especially in college football. Pitt stands on deck, super-weapon at the ready, fully charged and unused.

Fire away, Panthers. FOR JUSTICE!

Recap

In writing this, I’m reminded of why I prefer podcasting at times to writing. Loads easier (for me at least) to talk for an hour with Shane than writing this all down. But hey, stuff happened, and we should at least talk about it*!

*Translation: please don’t go and keep reading.

Big Ten

Northwestern is 5-0 and completely in the driver’s seat in the Big Ten West thanks to their 17-7 victory over Wisconsin. Their shortened season concludes with Michigan State, Minnesota, and Illinois. While anything can happen, I’m finding it hard to see how Northwestern doesn’t end up 8-0 and facing off against Ohio State.

Worst case, they can still lose one of their remaining games and still have the head-to-head over Wisconsin (who, if they miss one more game are out of Big Ten title contention anyways per conference rules). 2020 is incredibly weird and perhaps “five turnovers by the Badgers” should’ve been on the bingo cards.

Speaking of weird, Indiana, despite their 42-35 loss to Ohio State, absolutely has some voodoo magic going on. That other-worldly logic of taking them on the spread was incredibly sound as they somehow hexed Justin Fields into 3 INTs and sacked him five times.

It was a hell of a game–even if Indiana continued to make strange blood sacrifices by shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly. Dropped passes and four turnovers should’ve doomed the Hoosiers, but they kept this a fight until the end, nearly clawing back even though they started the fourth down 42-21.

Speaking off…Ohio State’s secondary…y’all okay over there? I mean, I kinda hope you aren’t since every ESPN color commentator had ND/tOSU in the playoffs on Saturday. But um…yikes!

In schadenfreude, Penn State got hilariously plastered by Iowa, dropping to 0-5. They trailed at the half 24-7 and then managed to give up 10 unanswered in the forth–just a solid losing effort.

Nebraska is probably re-thinking their playing football stance after getting beat by 2-3 Illinois at home. Scott Frost also threw his players under the bus, citing a lack of juice. Things seem not fun in Lincoln.

And of course, there is Michigan, who benefitted by Rutgers still being Rutgers as the Scarlet Knights snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in a 48-42 triple OT thriller. Rutgers absolutely should’ve won this game, but I’m not even mad. The entire game was hilariously stupid and I kept giggling thinking how Michigan fans must feel that Coach Michigan Man Jesus is struggling to beat Rutgers in year six.

Big XII

Oklahoma reestablished some form of Big XII dominance at home during Bedlam in a 41-13 win. However, it was also a game in which Spencer Sanders got sidelined for the majority of the game and Chubba Hubbard was used with caution due to injury. Despite all that, OU didn’t pull away until the fourth. If the Cowboys had an offensive pulse, it would’ve been a Red River headache all over again.

Thanks to this game and an Iowa State victory, the Cyclones sit atop the conference with a 6-1 conference record while everyone else is a two-loss conference team. Hilariously, I think OU is in second place over Texas because they have one more win than them, and thus a higher winning percentage, because Texas/Kansas got the axe this week.

I want to live in a world in which Tom Herman’s Jayhawks problem re-emerges, but this time it’s because they didn’t play at all. That’s art.

Pac-12

Three weeks in and I still have no feel for this conference.

Oregon held off UCLA 38-35 and I still can’t tell if UCLA is starting to turn a corner with Chip Kelly or if Oregon is just suspect as all hell. Reminder: the Ducks dealt with a Wazzu headache for quite a while before pulling away last week.

The Washington Huskies still look solid, but they have only played Oregon State and Arizona, hardly good measuring sticks. With the Apple Cup is already cancelled for this week, the Huskies tried to grant all our wishes by scheduling BYU, but BYU backed out (more on that later). Eventually they will have to play Oregon, so I guess that will be for all the marbles in the North and we might actually know who might be good in this division.

As for the South–Southern Cal maybe figured some things out? They didn’t need a ridiculous fourth quarter tip-drill to stay alive this time and nine second half points kept Utah at bay. I was expecting more from Utah, which was folly considering it was their first game off of multiple COVID cancellations (and this one wasn’t looking great for most of the week).

A decent chunk of this conference could be looking at playing five games this season total. I have no idea how that plays with the playoff committee, but I guess we will see on Tuesday.

SEC

Alabama and Florida are really, really good. Vanderbilt got a brief moment in the sun before Florida boat-raced them and Kentucky received no such grace. Sim to end of season on this one. These two need to battle it out and it’ll be great (and seriously how in the hell did the Aggies beat Florida?!).

Meanwhile, Mississippi State, down loads of scholarship players due to COVID and “fuck Mike Leach–I’m out”, put a scare into Georgia. Clanga’s effort was solid, but there’s a definite “Happy learned how to put–uh oh!” moment when J.T. Daniels finally got to go under center with a stellar 28/38, 401 yards, 4 TD, 0 INT effort. That feeling, however, is dashed by the face that Mississippi State outrushed Georgia.

With 22 yards. Because Georgia had 8.

The SEC is turning into the Big XII land of shootouts with better talent. I’m very much here for it, but I’m not sure I’m going to get used to it this season.

ACC

The biggest ACC news is above in the “main segment”, but it’s worth noting that half the scheduled games for Saturday didn’t happen. That left the ACC with only one conference game on Saturday and two all weekend.

In that Saturday conference tilt, Virginia Tech went from nearly beating Miami to just getting blasted by Pitt by a 33-point margin. This is the third loss in a row for the Hokies and now (an apparently big mad) Clemson team is next. I absolutely didn’t see the Justin Fuente era playing out like this, but um…he might be over his head here.

The only other ACC “highlight” was NC State blocking a game winning field goal attempt to deliver Liberty’s first loss of the season. Guess third time was a charm for the conference.

I’m sitting here giggling to myself that Liberty lost because someone else came in between them and a score because my mind is perpetually in the gutter.

Group of Five

UCF gave Cincinnati everything they could handle in just a banger of a game that ended with a 36-33 comeback win for the Bearcats. Cincy had only given up 20 points once this season when they let off the gas against Austin Peay in week one. That stellar defense coughing up 33 was something I didn’t see coming.

That being said, Cincy won it’s only real clunker to date. With Tulsa raking up the wins and moving into the top 25, there’s a realistic chance the Bearcats can lay claim to three top-25 wins this season (Army, SMU earlier this season). I’m still not sure it will be enough for playoff consideration, but damn, they are trying.

BYU is still murdering opponents, but they still haven’t had a real test yet outside of maybe Boise State. As I mentioned earlier, Washington was willing to give them said test, but BYU said no. The reason seems to depend on who is asked as one source said BYU was waiting to see how the playoff committee treated their current resume and another saying that BYU was just concerned Washington would toss BYU to the side if another Pac-12 school could play and wanted an immediate contract locked and signed.

Whatever the reason, this seems like a massive misstep by BYU. I don’t buy that Washington would easily replace them with a Pac-12 school. They are trying to boost their resume too and the other Pac-12 options aren’t moving that needle right now like BYU could.

The playoff committee ranking doesn’t make sense either. BYU’s resume is junk compared to Cincinnati’s (Coastal Carolina, still undefeated, is going to have a similar problem). So why not take the boost? You can’t just tweet out any time, any place and then start tossing weird qualifiers on it. What’s the committee going to think about that when the news leaks?

It’s all extremely dumb of the Cougars. Take the game and stop being stupid. You’re not landing in a New Year’s Six bowl without it.

Sign Off

Yes, I’m aware posts don’t require sign offs like a podcast, but this section nevertheless will remain because, quite frankly, it’s past midnight, I have work tomorrow, and have no further creative ideas for how to end this post.

That all being said, I hope you enjoyed. Eddie and I are still planning to bring you picks live on Twitch Turkey Day Eve (or on Thanksgiving for those using the podcast medium). Shane and I will return at the close of Thanksgiving weekend to recap Notre Dame at North Carolina.

Until then, “enjoy” the sim that we already ran for that game or come swing by and chat with us in our Discord server and/or hit up our TeePublic store as the traditional shopping holidays will see 35% off everything.

Enjoy your holiday and stay safe! Go Irish. Beat COVID. Beat Tarheels. Have a good one.

The post HLS Recap (Text Edition): Dabo’s the Worst appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

After witnessing a game that WE WILL NEVER MENTION AGAIN, this was quite a nice bounce-back for the Irish. The offense got right and Clark Lea put together another defensive masterpiece.

Meanwhile, the Big Ten officially started their season, meaning Shane and I give some initial thoughts to the madness that included an improbable Indiana upset and a Rutgers win. Also featured this week: another ref bailout for Auburn, Florida State still real bad, Alabama still real good, and…*checks notes*…Clemson might have a Dino Babers problem?

Podcast

Twitch VoD

The post HLS Recap: Superweapon Malfunction appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Right off the bat, Shane and I deem this loss the worst of the Brian Kelly era. There’s no sugar-coating it.

This episode is probably less than a pod, but more of an hour-long therapy session on trying to deal with this. So come join us and try to start the healing–or come listen and get even angrier. Whatever works.

Podcast

Twitch Broadcast

The post HLS Podcast: We’re in the Bad Place (Notre Dame/Michigan Post-Game) appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

(I’m sorry.)

(But the chat went hard in the paint with the new ability to play drops and that makes it all worth it!)

Podcast

Twitch Broadcast

The post HLS Podcast: Reliving Nightmares from Under the Lights, the Notre Dame @ Michigan Sim appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Even if they did, I wouldn’t have bothered making a post about it to be honest. Harbaugh, however, couldn’t leave well enough alone and this happened:

Congrats, everyone. As Michigan’s sworn enemies, we have apparently run/participated in a disinformation campaign that’s so good, no one is even aware of it other than a steak-eating-milk-drinking-kahki-wearing coach up north (worst Ric Flair promo ever).

That part is just funny, but what’s stoking my Michigan rancor are a couple of whoppers that Harbaugh threw out in his effort to “fake news” the rumors and keep making Michigan great again, or something.

“I don’t even have an ‘agent or represtative.'”

Really? Who the hell is this then?!

Not only is that link from a Michigan blog, but there are literal photos from an EPSN reporter detailing a day in the life of this guy.

Perhaps the “trusted agent” is not fully an agent in a traditional, 10% off the top sense, but you’re telling me a guy that opens Harbaugh’s mail wouldn’t try to represent his interests and communicate on his behalf?

Sure. Makes sense. Couldn’t possibly see Harbaugh asking someone like that to go kick some tires to give him a degree of separation. Nope. Not at all.

“I am committed to your sons.”

Let’s turn the clock back to a recent edition of the Friday Roundup (RIP):

Oh hey, here’s a shocker, Jim Harbaugh might be a dick. Remember when Harubaugh went on the radio and said, because of current transfer rules, kids might make up a mental health disorder? Well, it turns out he may have just had a specific athlete in mind ($) when he said that and the picture isn’t a pretty one. None too pleased with his portrayal in this tale, Harbaugh decided to fire back at Cincinnati head coach Luke Fickell, who then fired back at Harbaugh once again.

Harbaugh is so concerned about your son, he’ll proactively make up some bullshit under the guise of actually giving a damn about mental health because he knows your son walked out the door and he’s going to make sure he makes that, ahem, exit strategy as painful as possible for him. Bonus caring: he’ll then attack the new coach trying to stick up for your kid.

Please excuse the informality of this rant, Jim

But you’re full of shit.

The only “annual strategy” that’s causing disruption to Michigan is whatever the hell it is you do on the sideline every year. You’ve done a great job at sowing discord and disappointment all by yourself. You don’t need our help.

To wit, Michigan is once again on track to finish third or worse in your own division. Consistency, after all, is key!

The better argument here would’ve been that you’ve sucked so bad at your alma mater that no NFL GM in their right mind would consider you for a job. After all, no coach has had more success in wearing out their welcome than you have in practically every single stop you’ve made.

Look, just call the rumors something you don’t think deserve the time of day and move on. Stop trying to blow Michigan Man Sunshine up everyone’s ass and then have John U. Bacon write a book about how you’re the good guy in the cesspool of college football, actually.

You suck. Michigan sucks. Michigan will always suck. Enjoy receiving another righteous ass-whipping at the hands of Notre Dame Saturday night.

The post Jim Harbaugh Convinced Michigan’s Enemies Spreading Total Crap Exit Strategy Rumors appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

It turns out the fake band has a name, 300 Likes, which I discovered because their fake song, “Summertime Lover” released as a full-blown song last Friday.

I’ve been wanting to write about the most hated/loved commercial of this football season for some time now. However, I don’t want to talk about the band, the song, or the fact that the dude squatting in the lower-right corner doesn’t even bother moving his mouth. No, this Roundup is dedicated to my hero, my spirit animal, the clueless dad:

Clueless dad makes this commercial for me. Every. Damn. Time.

My kids are still incredibly young, but my oldest has already put me in some clueless dad situations. For instance, he will excitedly detail some random show I’ve never heard of, and I will desperately stumble around the conversation trying to remain interested, but more importantly, not called out on my bullshit that I don’t have a damn clue what he’s talking about.

Every parent ends up running into this at some level, which makes clueless dad the damn best. He’s put down his hard-earned American currency so his daughter be front-row for one of her favorite bands. He’s even wearing a freaking button featuring one of the guys to support his kid’s interests. In short, he’s ready to do everything he can to make sure this night ends up a favorite memory for his daughter.

But as soon as the show starts, disaster strikes. The band isn’t dancing, the screams turned into shocked silence, and clueless dad sees his poor daughter’s face flash a look of pure horror. So clueless dad does what any dad tries to do when shit 100% out of our control goes awry: attempts to fix it.

The success rate for all dads attempting to pull of this maneuver is 0.00%, rounded up. Clueless dad is no different. If the guys aren’t dancing, clearly it’s the job of the audience to get down, and by God, he’s going to make sure this party gets going and save the day.

Of course, he’s the only poor sap trying to salvage the disaster he’s walked into. Mere seconds after trying to get the dance party started, he’s greeted with the new horror that he’s made a fool of himself. The only saving grace is that his own kid is still too dumbstruck with disappointment to notice because, honestly, that’s the only opinion he cares about–to hell with everyone else.

The hard-earned American currency might as well have been lit on fire. The concert is an epic disaster. Regardless of what happens from here on out, the night is likely ruined for his kid, which is worse than the hit to the bank account.

But dammit, like fans of a certain football team that keeps breaking our hearts, we can’t help but to keep trying to salvage joy of a terrible situation. In a way, we’re all clueless dad.

You’re my hero, clueless dad. Never give up. Keep dancing.

The Roundup

Note: Some links require a subscription to the Athletic and are marked with ($). For 40% off your first year, please use our referral link.

Here’s an unexpected use of the new four-game redshirt rule. Houston’s star QB, D’Erik King, will sit out the rest of the season, along with senior WR, Keith Corbin. King’s father says it’s the first step of a transfer, but Houston’s official announcement has both King and Corbin stating they will remain in Houston.

NCAA says something dumb: part one million. Mark Emmert has called potential new image & likeness laws, aka allowing the Olympic model into college sports, an “existential threat”–which is a hell of a thing to say considering North Carolina literally tried to undermine the entire academic side of student-athlete and sexual abuse ran rampant at Penn State and Michigan State. But no, this is the bad thing. Got it.

Maybe don’t ask about internet rumors during a conference call. I mean sure, Gundy blew his stack a bit, but this was just a terrible idea.

Kinght’s Watch + Murder Smurfs. Coming in 2021 and 2023. Let’s. Get. Weird.

I think The Athletic owes us some #snacktalk royalties. This week, the CFB section of The Athletic was full of articles about the intersection of college football and food. My two favorites, a top 25 food ranking by Andy Staples ($) as well as a look on how the NCAA deregulation on food budget (hey they do so some good things on occasion!) has had a positive impact on programs and athletes ($).

Time for a daily dose of #sportsmath. The stop rate rankings ($) are back, which can be a fun read if you feel like you are feeling too confident about Notre Dame’s defense.

Look, Skycam wasn’t a failure. NBC wants to make sure you know that it’s sticking around and they will do better. Promise!

With Virginia coming into town, it’s a good time to remember Malik Zaire. After an injury that derailed his CFB career, Zaire is finding his stride over at CBS ($).

Opponent Watch

Remember the sad Virginia fan? Of course you do. Go catch up on what he’s up to.

How do you build a school like Virginia into a competitor? Well, hiring the right athletic director is a good start, especially one that knows her way around schools that know how to compete in football ($).

So Virginia has a bit of a streak going. Four weeks, four players named as ACC Players of the Week.

If you want a good primer on Virginia’s season so far, I would suggest this read. My two cents: sounds like a lot of ND teams that created constant heart attacks in every game, yet somehow put winning records together.

A Special Look at Michigan

It’s not just Notre Dame fans trying to dance on Skunkbear graves. The natives are starting to willingly dig them.

Any Michigan loss, brings out a good ‘ol Mike Valenti rant. His opening segment on Monday was art, calling them a regional program. He drove the dagger in even further on Wednesday wondering why in the world Michigan bothers to expect titles when they’ve never won them to begin with.

So who had “Urban Meyer has to address Michigan coaching rumors” on their bingo card? Yes, he actually had to say there is no way he’d come out of retirement to coach Michigan. How did this happen, oh just some beautiful degeneracy:

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During our Hot Dog Bye Week podcast, this Loyal Reader revealed that he would spend his bye week Ubering around Ann Arbor during Army/Michigan weekend. Here’s his playlist:

For those keeping score at home, that’s Army’s Fight Song, The Irish Tenors, “Here Come the Irish”, and the Rudy soundtrack. There’s trolling Michigan and then there’s this next-level, real-man-of-genius moment.

I can only imagine the stream of reactions from Michigan fans as they climb into his car and slowly realize the personal hell they have entered. May his Uber rating rest in peace.

As someone who steers this entire site straight into not just the silliness of college football, but also the pettiness and trolling opportunities it offers, I respect the hell out of this effort. Further, I hope his final Uber ride is given to a group of Army fans still buzzing over an upset over the damned Skunkbears.

The Roundup

The misery index is always a fun read, but typically you don’t see “how is this school a festering corpse?!” in week 2, but I guess Tennessee was just willing to jump on that grenade.

Another fun weekly read is the “top whatever” column. However, I think we can keep the absurdity of Hugh Freeze coaching from a hospital bed at #1 forever. It’s all downhill from here–UPDATE: maybe this dumb ride will keep going.

The silly season of the coaching carousel is always a wild ride. But Tom Herman/Coach O saga a couple of years ago at LSU was a damn rollercoaster.

Ian Book is a unicorn. Maybe not the thing you expected to hear from anyone after his performance against Louisville, but he’s a part of a ever-shrinking percentage of college QBs that actually bide their time before they win the starting job.

Notre Dame did take a hit in one poll. Anxiously awaiting a certain subset of fans that trash #sportsmath to now point to the SP+ as the one true poll that actually reflected ND on the eye test.

Bill C had some other non-stat stuff that you should read. This piece is basically a national primer to some of the biggest storylines for various teams around college football and how week 1 affected them.

I think I have a Beaver correspondent now. Had another line dropped about Oregon State’s next game against Hawaii. It will be aired on Facebook Live; however, no one is quite sure exactly where on Facebook it will be. Regardless, my bet is the answer is “in more homes than the Pac 12 network.”

Offer this kid a scholarship immediately. The all-name champion is here and I don’t know how you top this.

Get me back in school. Notre Dame is offering a course discussing The Good Place. Can I take this online? Please?!

#snacktalk has reached epic proportions. Little did I realize our silly podcast would set off a seismic event of a Rudy parody done by KFC, featuring both actual Rudy (meh) and Sean Astin (YAY!). Not only does this fever dream exist, IT’S AMAZING.

Opponent Watch

Number of former ND coaches to roam the opposing sideline: still zero.

If you’ve ever wondered how Southern Cal has ended up in their current state, you should absolutely read this fascinating piece about the booster that is likely responsible.

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For those unfamiliar with this little feature, it’s a time in which we move our focus from Notre Dame and look outward to the rest of college football. While Shane and I do this in the HLS Podcast, we can only cover so many stories before we lose everyone with a two-plus hour episode. The Roundup will house those stories, plus those that really don’t need more than a quick link and mention.

As is tradition, the Roundup will also have a cold open of sorts. It may or may not have anything to do with college football (teaser for next week: it’s a recent drink trend). Bucking tradition, I am going to retire The Beer/The Booze section.

Let’s face it, maybe about 80% of my suggests were half-assed, nor overly interesting. That got worse when I had kids.

Added in its place will be an opponent watch of sorts. While Irish Elvis will hold down the fort on the strength of schedule side, I’ll drop in some relevant news about our future opponent for your perusal.

Oh, and because so many awesome stories are in The Athletic these days, those links will be denoted with ($). If you don’t have a sub, and would like support HLS, we can get your 40% off your first year.

So that’s the 411 on this little feature. Let’s get to the news so I can close some tabs on my browser…

The Roundup

Oh hey, here’s a shocker, Jim Harbaugh might be a dick. Remember when Harubaugh went on the radio and said, because of current transfer rules, kids might make up a mental health disorder? Well, it turns out he may have just had a specific athlete in mind ($) when he said that and the picture isn’t a pretty one. None too pleased with his portrayal in this tale, Harbaugh decided to fire back at Cincinnati head coach Luke Fickell, who then fired back at Harbaugh once again.

Secretly in the bad guy category: Dabo Swinney. It seems that Kelly Bryant not getting a ring triggered this post, but there is no better collection and details of Dabo’s troublesome takes an actions. Dabo “aw shucks” it and isn’t robotic like Saban so too often he gets a free pass. So if you ever wonder why folks like me are sour on him, here ya go.

THE dumbest trademark application ever. If this goes through, I’m going to put up merch with “THE” on it in our store, just to see what Ohio State’s cease and desist looks like.

Mike Leach, forever weird. Stories about Wyoming, having a freshmen make him a specific kind of coffee, dipping, getting his players to dip, and demanding one of his players write “fuck” on a whiteboard because he left out the word in his notes while quoting Leach: all just a part of a perfectly normal QB meeting with the pirate ($).

I still want the sponsor to be Popeyes. But I’m happy the Bahamas Bowl has brought in some solid ROI for a *checks notes* Chicago suburb.

Stupid academic eligibility rulings, not just for the NCAA. The Michigan High School Athletic Association saw a Northwestern commit took too many classes before he entered high school so they took away his final year of eligibility. Seriously.

In case you haven’t noticed, college football is celebrating 150 years. This past week, that’s brought out loads of “all time” rankings and retrospectives. Both Sports Illustrated and ESPN named their top programs of all time. SI also ranked the best CFB games of all time. Finally, new ESPN employee, Bill Connelly, listed his rankings based on 150 years of #sportsmath. Spoiler alert, here’s your #1:

Excited about that new QB that transferred to your favorite team? Don’t be ($).

Opponent News

So was Bobby Petrino trying to light Louisville on fire? Because it sure seems that way based on what their new head coach had to say. Also, I would highly recommend hearing that post read aloud by Rakes on his recent podcast who joined up with Notre Dame Our Blogger to break down the entire schedule.

It seems like Virginia Tech has some issues as well. Attrition certainly is a word you could use to describe Justin Fuente’s struggles with the Hokies last season. One of the things that healed the wounds: turkey bacon. *blinks repeatedly*

A look a where Notre Dame stands in the world of college football. Pro Football focus ranked all 130 FBS QBs and The Athletic took a special focus on the top draft-eligible offensive tackles coming into the season ($).

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Who put the Ball in Ball State? The very generous Ball brothers, who became very wealthy by building a better, smarter fruit jar. It’s not a sexy way to make money; but all things considered, glass pickling jars are a lot more popular today than what our first benefactor sold – fur.

Since we’re playing host to Ball State, I thought I’d be hospitable and put the Ball in football:

Have a Ball – What we did with Michigan last Saturday night. And I don’t mean only on the field. Our fans had a ball in the stands. FINALLY! The Stadium was…I’m struggling for a term…loud. Yes, it was loud. That’s probably as shocking to you as it is to me. And I don’t know if there is a single factor that made the difference – everyone in the same shirt color, a compelling video clip on the big screen, hatred. It could be any of those. But let’s make sure it wasn’t a one-time-thing. Let’s have a ball in the Stadium for the rest of the season, because it really helps the lads have a hell heck of a ballgame on the field.

Keep an Eye on the Ball – What we need to do tomorrow. Ball State was very good at football once. I don’t mean once as in ‘during a particular period of time’; I mean once as in only one season, ten years ago. But that’s absolutely no excuse to let our guard down tomorrow. Nothing could be more devastating than winning a big game and then losing to a small opponent. Trust me, I’ve seen it waaay toooo many times. Coaches, players, and fans need to keep their eye on the ball and secure a decisive victory.

Ball of Fire – Sure, our offense should play like one. But I’m not a big fan of fire. If you want to know why, look at the year over the middle windows on the fourth floor of the Main Building, and then look up the founding year of the University. Tell me what happened between the two dates.

Too Many Balls in the Air – I have no problem with this, as long as they’re caught. If not then Take the Ball and Run.

Behind the Eight Ball – Where we’d like to see Ball State. Heck, let them score eight points to avoid the shame of a shutout. Such things are reserved for old friends, and we’re meeting these folks for the first time.

Drop the Ball – Not gonna do it.

That’s the Way the Ball Bounces – Fine, as long as it’s into our hands.

Get the Ball Rolling – Tailgating.

Ball of Wax – Grotto.

Ball and Chain – NCAA.

Bawl – What Michigan did last week.

Baal – An ancient demon worshiped by Philistines; a Jesuit.

Ball Don’t Lie – No idea…something to do with Karma. Like calling an opponent chicken and then losing to them.

Ball Out – To do something successfully and with great ease. Notre Dame DEF Ball State

Crystal Ball – Don’t have one, But 42-7 is a safe bet.EFS CSC

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It’s a lot of fun to podcast like this. I move that this happens every week.

Enjoy the show!

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