Excuse me, WHAT THE HELL IS KATIE COURIC DOING? The whole world should be calling her out for the BS she displayed yesterday. Not gonna? Okay then, I will. Thanks Katie, for getting me back into RANT MODE.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually thought 95% of her interview was decent. It wasn’t soft, she asked some tough questions, but those questions deserved to and needed to be asked. For her to look at all professional, and to give Manti a chance to answer them.

But then Katie went too far. Katie went off the ledge. Katie went bat-shit-CRAZY when she started talking about how she would’ve handled the situation. How SHE would’ve done it differently. How SHE would’ve done it RIGHT.

GIVE ME AN EFFING BREAK. Let’s break this down for a second.

First, and most importantly, Katie is about as far as possible from being Manti Teo. She’s an old, white, washed-up reporter, and she’s a she. Manti is a young, male, Morman, Samoan/Hawaiian wrecking ball of a linebacker that attended a Catholic school and played D1 Football. THIS IS A DIFFERENT FREAKING WORLD WOMAN! I mean, there are a ton of things closer to Manti than you…

So that’s point one. You have no idea what you’d do if you were him. BECAUSE YOU ARE LITERALLY NOTHING LIKE HIM.

But, Daytime TV Talk Show hosts spin BS all the time. So, moving on, the second biggest problem with her ‘advice’ was that she used the complete timeline of information to inform how she’d have reacted and behaved. Guess what Katie, when this was all going down MANTI DIDN’T KNOW EVERYTHING YOU KNOW NOW YOU SILLY WOMAN! You can’t just take all of this data that you now have at your disposal and assume that, MONTHS AGO, Manti had the same information. Of COURSE he’d have behaved differently if he’d known it was all a hoax you twit. That tells us absolutely nothing.

Sooooo, since she’s so perfectly able to rip apart past situations, let’s find out What Would Katie Do (WWKD):

If she’s Steven Spielberg, SHE would never put Jar Jar Binks in the prequels. #WWKD

If she were Brian Kelly, SHE would’ve never called that pass play against Tulsa. #WWKD

If she were the Jets Organization, SHE would’ve never taken Tebow. #WWKD

The rest of the interview, like I said, was fair. But this was so far over the line. It was pompous, full of righteous indignation that Teo didn’t at all deserve, and disgusting from an ‘adult’. I never cared about Katie Couric. Wasn’t ever on my radar. Now she officially sucks.

And for all the ‘haters’ who may comment saying ‘yeah Manti still lied’ or ‘I’m an idiot listen to my stupid point that’s irrelevant’ I am not saying any of this exonerates Manti. He didn’t do everything perfectly and he is paying DEARLY. But that’s not the point. The point is that Katie Couric had the chance to be a journalist. To get a story and to dig deep. She started off down that path. But then, at some point, she decided to switch to being a moron. That’s the point. KATIE COURIC, you’re on the HLS WatchList. You don’t want to be there. I’ll see you on Twitter. Loser.

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Costello was able to pull off the ruse for twenty years by casting his annual vote for the NCAA’s Heisman Trophy, and lobbying strongly for clearly inferior football players. Costello was instrumental in obtaining Heismans for Jason White, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerffel, and Gino Torretta.

Costello had also been a strong supporter of Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith. Costello had cast his ballot for Smith for the Heisman, for the Walter Camp Award, given to the nation’s best player, and for the Davey O’Brien Award, given to the nation’s best quarterback, despite Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn’s superior numbers on a far less-talented team. When questioned about his selections, Costello said, “What can I say? I’m retarded.”

The post Man Fakes Mental Retardation for 20 Years by Disguising Self as Heisman Voter appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

It’s over, Johnny.
In honor of his great legacy and in preparation of his impending unemployment, HLS has compiled the following list of jobs which might be more suitable for a man of Smith’s abilities:

1. Howard Dean campaign manager
2. Assist in the completion of Crazy Horse Memorial in South Dakota
3. Intern: Bethlem Royal Hospital
4. Backup singer for Gnarls Barkley
5. Terrell Owens’ P.R. assistant

Please feel free to pile on add on to this list.

The post Nut Sacked! appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

1. John L. Smith or Tom Cruise: Whose Issues are Bigger?
2. Stumbling Upon Your Ass: Things to do When Looking for a Hole in the Ground
3. Protecting the 50-Yard Line: The 35-Yard Line of 2006
4. Nick Saban: Can We Get Him Back After He Burns Out in the NFL?
5. Masochism: Stop Hitting Yourself!
6. Flag Planting and You
7. Dealing with Ann Arbor: The Bitch to the Southeast

The post Spartans Call Press Conference to Consider Hiring Head Football Coach appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Some questionable playcalling by the Cardinals allowed the undefeated Bears to overcome a 23-3 third-quarter deficit and beat the Cardinals 24-23.

After the game, Cardinal coach Dennis Green talked about the loss, his team’s second in a row after leading both games 14-0 in the first quarter.

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When asked after the press conference what Green meant, he said, “I mean we knew what they were going in!  Undefeated!  And we still know!  Crown that!”

The post Dennis Green Poops Pants, Forced to Talk About It appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

“The police identified him as looking like somebody that they see around the mall all the time,” Tuberville said. “It had nothing to do whatsoever with South Carolina or any of that. Weâ€re getting calls about that. It didnâ€t have anything to do with the game, but somebody out thereâ€s got a nice $15,000 computer that doesnâ€t know how to get into it.”

The HLS CSI unit has made a break in the case and uncovered that the laptop was stolen by not one person but a gang of “people we see around the mall all the time”:

Spurrier hired us…and paid us in Bratz.

The post Auburn Gameplan Stolen: HLS Identifies Perp appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Any takers down there? No?

Owens, afraid that the spotlight had shifted slightly off center from his gleaming teeth, took five painkiller pills Tuesday night, hiding the rest unmarked in his sock drawer. Owens also insured that he had a friend within groaning distance of his suicide attempt, causing experts to speculate that Owens’s “suicide” attempt was actually a cry for help.

The Devil quickly dispelled those rumors. “Oh, no. We just didn’t want that c@#$smoker down here,” the Devil said, causing one reporter’s eyes to turn to jelly in his presence. “Me, Hitler, Ivan, Stalin, and Genghis have our own little thing going on down here. We don’t need that showboating @$$hole messing up our dynamic,” the Devil said, his words turning the afternoon sky black and causing fountains to run red with blood. “Plus, his contract is ridiculous,” the Devil quipped, as the earth split, swallowing whole a nearby church.

The post T.O. Spat out of Hell by Devil appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Model citizen Maurice Clarett shows off his new uniform.

“Well, I heard this story about a panda, and it was a hilarious drunk story, so I went with that instead of the Clarett thing,” HLS contributor Bad Kermit said. “Get drunk and try to hug a panda versus get drunk and threaten to cap a guy in the face with his choice of one of four guns. Actually, I guess both stories are pretty good,” Kermit said.

HLS contributor DomerMQ was still delirious after the Notre Dame Fighting Irish’s Saturday loss to the Michigan Wolverines. When DomerMQ caught up to himself for comment, he said, “But…they suck. They suck so much. How-? They suck.”

The Biscuit, another HLS contributor, did not have time to do a write-up on the Clarett story because he was too busy trying to purchase the screenplay rights to the story. “I’m going to call it, ‘The Maurice Clarett Story,'” Biscuit said.

ChisND was off on an investigative report, desperately trying to find out whether longtime Notre Dame supporter Marco was, in fact, a closet Michigan fan.

In order to remedy this situation, HLS offers the following joke:

Maurice Clarett is sitting in English 101 at the Ohio State University. His professor asks him, “Maurice, what comes after a sentence?” Maurice replies, “An appeal.”

For the record, the correct answer is, “Sodomy.” Enjoy prison, Maurice.

The post HLS Drops Ball, Fails to Mock Clarett appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

It should now be quite obvious to everyone why the Irish did not bring the trophey to last years game (that shade of pink clashes with our gold helmets of course).

The post Megaphone Trophy Spotted appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

1. koala bear
2. Dick Butkus
3. a barenaked lady

Note the absence of the panda bear. To make a long story short, man startles panda; panda bites man’s leg. Man attempts to kick panda with good leg. Man no longer has any good legs. Man bites panda’s back (He learned it by watching you, Marv Albert). Hose sprays panda. Bloody man removed from panda pen.

Panda 2, Man 1

Can we get this guy to East Lansing in time for Saturday’s game? If he can stand, he’d give a hell of an inspirational speech about revenge.

As an aside, Panda Express should really capitalize on this by introducing a new, cold dish called “Revenge.”

The post True Meaning of Revenge appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.