Holy Carp. The season’s almost here. That was fast!

And with the new season comes a new series of Subway Domer’s creation: The Irish Blogger Gathering. This week, Frank over at UHND hosts and submits the 7 questions below. He’s also posting links to all the responses to his questions, so after this, head over to Frank’s and check out his answers and the replies of all the other Gatherees…

1. Name one offensive players and one defensive player you are most excited to see in the new systems and why.

On offense, Shaq Evans. He’s clearly the most physically gifted athlete on the offensive side of the ba On offense, TJ Jones. It’s got to say a lot about the kid’s abilities to have beaten out Duval Kamara for the starting job, and I’m curious to see just how much can be said. Kamara may, at times, have moments where you wonder where his head is, but he’s still a former holder of a couple of freshman ND WR records, blocks during run plays very, very well, and is, himself, quite athletically gifted. So for TJ to beat an “incumbent” out really raises some eyebrows on my forehead. Just above my eyes.

On defense, if you’re not interested in seeing what Kerry Neal looks like, then you must be into some pretty lame topics of conversation. Written off by practically everyone outside of the Irish coaching staff, the kid’s emerged as a starter in the new defense while getting high praise from the head man himself in press conferences. The kid started 5 games his freshman year after showing up as one of the few bright spots of the 2007 season, started 11 games in 2008, fell off the map, and managed to get just 5 more starts in 2009 on one of ND’s most historically pathetic defenses. America loves a good come-back, and I’m 102% American.

2. What’s one reason you think Brian Kelly is the right coach this time. What’s one reason you think he might not be?

Look, this is the sort of prognosticating that usually makes us cringe, and given the number of times we’ve been bitten, we’re pretty damned shy at this point. After the last 3 coaches, I can barely walk outside of the house. But Brian Kelly is a winner. He’s always been a winner. And he’s been a head coach AND a winner for a long damned time. Currently, the guy’s carrying an 18 game regular season win streak into the season, and as much as the former guy may have hated losing, we get the sense that Kelly simply loves winning. There’s a difference there in a touchy-feely, all-day management seminar sort of way. A real difference. We swear.

Of course, he may not be the guy for all the usual reasons: he’s only coached as “small timey” schools (like Ara before he arrived at ND). His system is ill-suited for cold-weather games at ND (like Weis’ offensive system). He’s not John Gruden (like Lou Holtz never will be). Honestly, we can’t see any actual facts that disprove the notion that Kelly could be “the guy.”

3. A lot of people are labeling Purdue, Boston College, and Michigan State as toss up games. Considering Notre Dame beat all three of these teams during the disappointing 2009 season, do you consider these games toss-ups or games you expect Notre Dame to win?

I expect a win against Purdue no matter the circumstances. I demand it. It may be irrational, but even if we were putting a paraplegic QB up against the Boilermakers, I’d demand a win. We’re 53 and 26 against Purdue. We’re 7 and 3 against Purdue in the 00s. Hell, we nearly beat Purdue in 2007! A loss to Purdue is as unacceptable as a loss to Navy and has less panache.

Boston College, frankly, knows how to put together a defense. And so we are forced to consider them a toss-up. The Irish didn’t score more than 20 points against BC in the Weis era. And 2007 aside, that Weis era was pretty prolific. BC game, I dub thee “Toss Up.”

Michigan State is coached by Mark Dantonio, a coach I always think might be one of the elites until I’m reminded that he’s 22 and 17 at MSU and has yet to win a bowl game. Frankly, this is a middling crew that hasn’t been able to capitalize for even a moment while their co-state-school where the other 30% of all their classmates attended for a while has sucked harder than a Jennifer Aniston feature film. I’d be back to demanding wins against this crowed, but we’re 9 and 9 against them in the last 20 years and 2 of ND’s wins came under Willingham so they nearly don’t count. Toss up.

4. What’s one reason you think Notre Dame could shock the world and pull of another 1964-type season? What’s one reason you’re concerned we might see more of a 1997-type season?

The reason I think they could have another 1964 is that I can’t escape the parallels my heart wants to see between Kelly and Parseghian. That and the pants-load of talent that Weis recruited. Really, if things go “according to plan,” then major success for the Irish should be less “shock the world” and more “world wonders what the hell took these guys so long.”

But it’s not 1964. And granted, it’s not 1997, either. You can’t buy a gallon of gas for a buck, Hong Kong is under China’s rule, and the Notorious B.I.G is still cool, but also dead. Still, all that ‘97 stuff is a lot closer to today than that 1964 stuff. And while there’s a pants-load of talent on the roster, and quite possibly an excellent coach on the sidelines, the ND of today is facing a much more level playing field than it did in 1964. Every team has players with actual athletic ability (aside from Purdue). The climb back to the elites may take more than a single season.

But there’s never any reason to think this will be 1997 all over again. ND isn’t being coached by Bob Davie.

5. Which freshmen do you see contributing the most on the field this year (outside of TJ Jones – that’s too easy)?

Prince Shembo. Dude’s name is PRINCE SHEMBO. I mean, c’mon. It’s fate. Like Golden Tate. Dude’s parents did not mess around when bestowing that name. Same reason I’m naming my firstborn son “Azzkicker McPrime.”

So yeah, the name plus the fact that Kelly seems to look for reasons to mention him in public. Maybe Kelly’s just excited to get to claim that he knew Prince Shembo (you must always say his full name, by the way) back before Prince Shembo was big.

6. Other than Dayne Crist (too easy again) who is the one player Notre Dame can least afford to lose to injury for any significant period of time?

Trevor Robinson. 22 games played. 14 games started. All in 2 years. And for good reason: When he plays football, he plays the way it’s supposed to be played. And without him on the field for a significant period of time, the rest of the OL – starters and 2nd stringers alike – wont have that frame of reference on how to play the game. Game film teaches. We need Trevor for the game film. Oh, and the bludgeoning he applies to defensive players. That’s good too.

7. 2010 Season Predictions

• Notre Dame record – 7 wins (Purdue, Michigan, WMU, Tulsa, Utah, Army, SoCal), 5 losses, 1 much-debated bowl game that results in another win.
• Bowl game for Notre Dame with opponent – Barely. Beef O’Brady’s Bowl in St. Petersburg, Florida vs. Houston
  It sounds Irish, so it’ll be fun!
• Final ranking – Not Ranked, but also receiving votes thanks to the solid finishing of the year.
• Opponent with the the highest final ranking – Pitt
• Notre Dame’s offensive & defensive MVP – Crist and Te’o
• Best opponent offensive & defensive player – Dillon Baxter, USC on offense and Greg Romeus, Pitt on defense
• Best opposing coach – Jim Harbaugh. Yep. Seriously. Look at the schedule. He’s, at worst, the 3rd most lunatic head coach on that schedule.
• Game you are most excited to watch SoCal. We might be pretty good by then, and they might be broken down.
• Game you wouldn’t mind watching on DVR I always mind, but if I must pick, then I pick Navy.
• Heisman Winner – Quizz Rogers, Oregon State
• Purdue game prediction – ND wins 24-17

So, there ya have it. I’m sure you’ll all agree with out thinking, no? Stayed tuned for the next gathering, where we get to ask the questions and watch the crowd squirm uncomfortably. There will be pie.

We’re back. This thing is probably the only part of this blog that I do with any regularity (outside of trashing RichRod and YELLING IN ALL CAPS), and so I am proud to once again present my preseason game by game predictions.

I used to apologize for the hubris of calling every game’s result in detail. No more. Love it or leave it I say!!! (that doesnt make sense, does it? whatever!)

If interested, you can see how I did last year here. I was great, I was money, until I wasnt. Not horrible either though. (if you count being as good as a monkey tossing darts as ‘not horrible’.) I got Nevada right, missed Michigan, missed MSU, but then got Purdue, Washington, USC, BC and WSU right. Not a bad start at all. Then, oops, I DIDN’T call our losing to Navy, Pitt, UCONN or Stanford. Just like the Irish last year, I faded down the stretch to finish 6-6. My 9-3 downside was off by 3 games.

Ugh. So I was no better than flipping a coin last year. This year, though, I will have my revenge!

Damn you coin!

Confidence Scale:

This is just as likely to be wrong as it is to be right (aka the Bad Kermit Effect)

I’ve got a good feeling, but am leaving myself some wiggle room

This is a lock, I am a genius, I cannot be wrong.

Week 1 – Purdue

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Soooo boring I fall aslzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Okay, so, Purdue. (5-Hour Energy is my friend!). Purdue comes in full of Hope and Red Bull (to stay awake), but those hopes are not justified. ND out-talents and out-depths Purdue. And ND now has a real coach. Granted, there will be growing pains for the Irish this year, but Purdue is only in year 2 of A New Hope, and they struggled mightily last year despite their random W over Ohio State. Marve is a great transfer for them, and I think he’ll turn into a pretty high draft pick down the road, but he doesn’t have a ton in the backfield to help him out with the injury to Bolden. ND will focus on keeping that run game in check and forcing Marve to put the ball up to catch up, because ND will score early and often against a thin Purdue D. Kelly will use the running game well, and I think we’ll see an offense more balanced than one might expect in this game given the strength of our OL, especially in the middle. Marve will have to force some things to try to close the gap, and I expect turnovers for the Irish. It won’t end close.

ND Wins: 41 – 23

2 Dancing leprechauns because it’s the first game of the season, and good lord who knows what’s going to happen?

Week 2 – Skunkbears (AND THEY SUCK!)

Skunkbear fans were overly optimistic last year before the season began, and continued to be overly optimistic after the ND win. Haven’t they learned? Now they won’t be 3-9 again, but they won’t break .500 this year either. Sadly, RR will be gone by season’s end, and one of the best Villains out there will be gone. Horrible bummer. I digress…

ND will shred UM through the air and on the ground. The complete lack of skill and depth in the backfield at Michigan (because EVERYONE at UM is either hurt or transferred) will look like cake to a fat kid for Brian Kelly. He’ll go 4, 5, 18-wide against UM, and then just use the superior skill and conditioning of ND’s WR/TE group to move the ball at will. ND won’t need the running game much, and Crist will have a career day. (granted, not that big a feat 2 games into his career as a starter, but still…). ND’s defense will give up points, but it will be fits and starts for a Michigan offense that doesn’t yet have an identity. And if Shoelaceless actually does start, I expect at least 2 turnovers from him.

With a Defense that was even half effective, last year’s game wouldn’t have been close. This year we lose Jimmy and Golden, but we pick up an ENTIRE DEFENSE. I think that’s the difference.

ND Wins – 31-17

Week 3 – @ MSU

MSU is a tough one to call this year. Like most years, you don’t look at the roster and go ‘oh boy these guys are going to be great’, but they are always solid talent-wise, they have big boys along the trenches, and they always bring their A game against ND. They will also have ‘warmed up’ against a few HS JV teams before playing ND, where ND has tougher games against Purdue and Michigan (yes, Michigan will suck, but they’re at least a real team).

Caper will provide a good starting point for MSU’s offense this year. He’s a solid runner who had some success last year. That said, MSU lost 3 of their starting linemen – so to me, the big question here is ND’s DL vs MSU’s OL. If ND can blow that new/inexperienced MSU OL up and disrupt the run game a ton, they can force MSU to the air. While Cousins is a serviceable QB, he’s not a world-beater. This is ND’s best chance to take down Sparty. If the ND DL along with the LB crew isn’t up to that challenge, it could be a tough outing.

At this point, I don’t have enough evidence to show that our DL/LBs are quite ready for this kind of dominating performance. I hope they prove me wrong, but right now I have to think that this is a serious back and forth battle without a clear winner. That means MSU and Cousins will have the running game to lean on, at least a bit.

ND’s offense vs MSU’s D is a bit clearer, as their strength is up front and in the middle, especially with All-Everything LB Greg Jones anchoring things. I expect ND to avoid that area of the field like the freaking plague and to do any running to the outside. But really, this game will be another air show, as MSU’s pass D sucked last year, and hasn’t shown any major improvement in the offseason. So ND will move the ball through the air, and will put up points.

So both O’s will have success. How much is tough to call given the dynamics at play here. But I’m thinking this one goes down to the wire. While I’m not sure at all, we have a few of these toss-up games and I can’t give them all to ND. Plus, ND travels for the first time under Coach Kelly. So…

MSU Wins 37-34.

I’m not all the confident here obviously, so this could just as easily be an Irish W.

Click the “More” Button to Finish out the Season

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This isn’t going to be fully formed, but I’ve just been amazed with how ridiculously hypocritical all these Big Tweleven fans have been over the past week or so.

To wit: They add 2 teams, with a plan of going to 2 divisions with a championship game. They did this all because they wanted more money, and they wanted to ‘keep up with the times’.

These changes will necessitate a move of the UM-OSU game from being the last game of the year, most likely. So, they’re going to have to end what some (mostly UM/OSU Fans) consider an important tradition. And now they’re bitching and whining up a storm about it.

So now they DON’T like the idea of giving up on tradition for money? Ahhhhhhh, okay then. Tools.

When ND gives the Tweleven the Heisman, they all say “Get with the times Notre Dame, get with the money, forget your lame traditions.” They expect ND to give up many of its independence-centric traditions to join the Tweleven – but are all up in arms when their expansion forces just 2 teams to give up ONE of theirs.

Hypocrites!

The “game notes” for Purdue week were released by ND yesterday. You can find them here (warning: PDF). We just had something pointed out to us which we “knew” in the same sense we “knew” it’s been 17 years since ND had a true top-3 team (credit: “Pat”):

The Last Time a Notre Dame Player:

Had a run of 70-79 yards:……………Arnaz Battle vs. Kansas, 1999 (74)
Had a run of 60-69 yards: …………..Brady Quinn at USC, 2006 (60)
Had a run of 50-59 yards: …………..Carlyle Holiday at Air Force, 2002 (53)

Notice something funny about all three players listed there?

We’ve highlighted such issues in the past. Granted, that was before the 2009 season was complete. Still, the situation has not really improved since then.

Here’s a list of what we’ll be watching this week. College Football, yay!

Thursday: 8:30PM EST on Versus, Pitt at Utah. Great first game of the year! Two Top 25 ND opponents will give us a bit of a preview of what we can expect later in the year.

Thursday: 11:00PM EST on ESPN, USC at Hawaii. All of USC’s wins this year mean nothing. But their losses will still be enjoyable, so it’s all upside. Let’s see if Kiffy wets the bed in his first outing.

Game to Avoid: Towson at Indiana. Towson?

Saturday: 3:30PM EST on NBC, Purdue at ND. Duh.

Saturday: 3:30PM EST on ABC/ESPN2, UCONN at Michigan. RichRod gets off to another terrible start. Good game to Tivo or flip to during long (but now a shorter version of long!) NBC commercial breaks.

Saturday: 7:45PM EST on ESPN, Oregon State at TCU

Saturday: 8:00PM EST on ABC, LSU vs UNC (if they have enough guys left to field a team)

Saturday: 10:00PM EST on ESPN2, Cincy at Fresno State. Simply to see if Cincy falls apart without BK.

Game to avoid: St. Francis at Liberty

Happy football to all and to all a good Week 1!

One thing I have never seen is an ad for Notre Dame football tickets. The day may come, of course, when that will change. It will depend on whether or not the school continues to charge $70 per seat to watch the Irish feast on such morsels as Tulsa and Western Michigan. (Please, God, please let them feast on Tulsa and Western Michigan. Please let them be morsels. Amen.)

As of now, you can go online to the school’s official website and purchase tickets to all but the first two home games. Of course, add on a $5 fee and a $9 order charge to that ticket. I don’t know what those charges are for, exactly, but it’s fine by me, because I poop fourteen-dollar bills. I do. It’s gross, but I really do. I’d be happy to mail you one. They work at Wal-Mart only, for some reason.

Stingy rant aside, other schools sometimes do have to hustle a bit to sell-out the old chicken-wire-lined patch of grass they call “home.” Purdue, in particular, is a stadium I’ve been to that reminded me a bit too much of John Steinbeck’s dustbowl. Everything covered in a brown film, people in tattered clothing, limping around all thirsty and shit. Pardon me. I may be thinking of “The Road.” Either way, that was Purdue, as I recall it.

It’s changed since then, apparently, with a $70 million dollar makeover completed seven years ago, and a few years back they tossed up a $1.7 million flat panel over their gigantic faux-fireplace. That way when you fall asleep at the game it can feel a little more like a Double Tree Inn.
Last year, the average attendance in their 62,500 seat stadium was just shy of 50,000, so around one of every five seats lay fallow on a typical game day, gathering up nutrients, sunlight, and restorative energy, awaiting the day when a four hundred pound man dressed as a locomotive engine will take his place in that well-rested seat.
For that reason, from time to time Purdue’s got to bust out the fishnet hosiery and shake it a little bit. Their ticket website offers group discounts, variable pricing dependent on the strength of the opponent, buy-one-get-one-free promotions, reasonable rates on half and halfs, the works. It warms the cockles of my stingy heart. They also produce videos such as this one , which, for the joy that comes with swatting a small child’s jumpshot, we have amateurishly re-dubbed for you here and now.

Purdue: we mock you and we mock your multi-media presentation.
Football is nigh. Amen.

Salve Magisterium,

It has been a year and a half since my last profession.  I have been writing and thinking, about this, that, and occasionally, your sister, just not on this particular forum.

Like all stalwart Catholics, I must at times seclude myself in a beehive hut in some sparsely populated region of the world and contemplate the ball of wax that is my soul.  Elusive wax.  Malleable, somewhat sticky stuff, the soul, not to mention flammable.  I emerged a year later from that beehived assemblage of stones with a cleansed heart, a thick, priestly beard, and a difficulty with sunlight.  Blinded, the first thing I did was stumble naked into the picnic of a very surprised young couple, landing genitals-first in their potato salad.  It was a delicious reintroduction to the world.

They still enjoyed it.

The gentle ruminations in the darkness of my solitude led me to many truths and a number of conclusions and resolutions:

1.  No more blogging until I complete my fictional masterpiece.
2.  No more blogging until an Irish surname coached the Irish again.
3.  No more blogging until my pants fit better
4.  No more calling it blogging.  From now on, I shall call it “blournalism” in the hopes of lifting the profession ever higher in the minds of those I most esteem.  Such as Stewart Mandel.

All conditions have been met.  As to point 1, a draft is complete, so Nabokov can suck it.  Posthumously.

As to point 2, obviously, objective surpassed.  Kelly, a proud last name, plus the first name of Ireland’s greatest high king, Brian Boru, so Ulster can suck it. 

As to point 3, Dockers may be so bold as to suck it. 

And as to point 4, I can already sense the term blournalism’s inevitable leap onto the AP wire.  The AP, via fair-use, may suck it.

All that being said, I will soon begin a weekly look at the use of video technology by those who would dare oppose her loyal sons (eh!) on the fields of combat.

Football’s almost back.
H’amen!

The sun isn’t up, and I’m surfing the web to see if something – anything – of note has changed in the world of college football since I went to bed 5 hours ago.

Welcome to Week 1, kids.