Certainly Brian Kelly doesn’t necessarily think so. He’s the first to note that every game for the rest of the regular season is the equivalent of a playoff. The Irish have no cushion, no safety net. Not only does Notre Dame have no choice but to win, the team must win decisively if it is to be invited to that bowl-game-cum-tournament hybrid presided over by secretive arbiters who seem ever to need more persuasion of a team’s worthiness.

Certainly Josh Adams is the first to assert that any achievement on the part of any individual player is actually the product of the whole team striving together. And that is not limited to the players. The team of coaches assembled in preparation for this season has brought out some extraordinary performances not just by many Irish athletes, but by all the Irish athletes together. Once again Notre Dame is physically strong and playing truly smart football.

Certainly Drue Tranquill was the first to state that the Irish are not a collection of standouts, but a group. And it was a group that wanted the victory over Georgia very much, but were denied. With great foresight, Tranquill expressed sincere sympathy for the remaining opponents the Irish would face, because in the wake of the defeat, every one of them would be punished – in the regular season, and now it seems increasingly likely, in the playoffs.

There can be no flagging, no relaxation, no lack of every effort. That one loss ensured this. “Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, under prosperous conditions, might have remained dormant.” So said Ara Parseghian, the champion.

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As a Leader of Men, Ara demanded much from his athletes: first, that they be good; second, that they be committed to their education; and third, that they be victorious. Though Ara may have found some of them as boys, this leader sent all of them out into the world as men. And though only some were formally recognized as such, all of Ara’s men were champions.

Ara’s life was long and rich. But his mighty heart did not pass through its many years without being pierced by sorrow. Like Job, Ara was given much; and like Job much was taken from him. Yet, Ara did not blame God or bemoan what had befallen him. No – this man of action, though he could not cure his own, led men and women in the unrelenting quest for the means to heal the sick in other families.

This leader was inspiration and example for generations of men and women who came to Notre Dame to learn, and left touched in ways great and small by Ara. His spirit, his zeal, his devotion always to higher principles and greater goods: these marked his 11 years at the University, and were never absent from the University in the decades that followed. Ara was a most Loyal Son to the very end.

At 94 years of age, we cannot say, “We hardly knew him.” Indeed, we are all better for having known Ara Parseghian. Like a Sacrament of the Church, Ara’s life was a sign of grace – grace in victory, grace in defeat; grace in joy, grace in sorrow; grace in always giving, and grace in never taking. In the Roman Legions a sacramentum was the loyalty oath pledged by soldiers to their leader, that bound leader and men together forever. In Roman religion, a sacramentum meant that he who swore it was given to God…as Ara is now.

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The Fighting Irish 4-8: We began the 2016 season ranked tenth and widely expected to vie for a place in the Freemason’s playoff scheme. And then we lost…to nearly everybody including the Navy (again). How terribly unexpected! We can beat Duke in their beloved Cameron Multipurpose Indoor Room, but we can’t defend Notre Dame Stadium from a team with a .490 all-time record. We cast our Dutch scapegoat into the desert, but we were not ritually purified. Our conference officials didn’t help matters, though their literacy classes in the offseason might enable them to read the rule book next year, with special concentration in the sections on “The Varieties of Pass Interference,” and “Targeting: That Elusive Pixie.”

When one gazes upon the Campus CrossToBear Crossroads construction reaching its climatic conclusion, and then considers the shambolic collapse of the football team, one can only be put in the mind of the Tower of Babel. And, oh, did the Alumni babble about this season, this coach, this athletic director. Yet, nothing says ‘reasoned dialogue’ like an angry letter to the newspaper. And nothing says ‘unhinged screed’ like having to pay to get your letter printed. Note to disgruntled Alumni: If you have a serious concern you would like to bring to the attention of Father President and the men behind the Board of Trustees curtain, take a sheet of bond paper (preferable watermarked) and, using a fountain pen, in your best calligraphy, list everything you appreciate about your Alma Mater, followed by a very brief description of what currently burns your ass frustrates you, and enclose a big fat check. Better still, make the check really, really big, and take your place behind the curtain. But full-page ads designed with all the flair of a fifth-grade science fair poster only make you look petty and small-minded; in short, you look like Michigan fans.

First Championship in 108 Years: No, it hasn’t been that long for the Fighting Irish (though it might feel that way); but it was that long for a hapless baseball team from Chicago. How chronologically unexpected! It’s always nice to see a perennial loser finally grab the brass ring. I just wish we weren’t edging dangerously close to becoming that perennial loser. Perhaps we can take a page from the Cubs’ playbook. They believed in their old, and storied team no matter how bleak recent seasons had been (check); They sank lots of money into stadium enhancements (check); they devoted even more money and effort into getting the best leadership and coaching talent available (how ‘bout them Cubs!). Yes, in the Cubs I believe we can see that there is always hope for the future, no matter how interminably long that hope as to wait. We may not know the day nor the hour when victory will strike…but there are a few constructive things we can do to hasten its arrival. Above all, the Fighting Irish do share one critical characteristic with the Chicago Cubs: Both teams are owned by Catholic families.

NCAA Sanctions: You have to love a supervising authority that rewards honesty with harsher penalties than obfuscation, deception, and lies. Yet, we must ask what our administration thought would happen when they “self-reported” a purely internal and substantially inconsequential matter. This was not unexpected. And now our administration is behaving like the zookeeper who lives with lions and, despite dealing with their claws and feces for years, is still bitterly disappointed when one bites him in the neck. In the new year, we need to recall that the NCAA was created by colleges and universities to assist them, not to rule them; and in assessing punishments for bad behavior, proportionality, justice, and equality must be the guiding principles. Well, if any collegiate administration does that, it will be truly unexpected. For my part, I am going on a New Year’s diet – I’m not swallowing any more of the garbage the NCAA is shoveling.

New President: Right on schedule there was a presidential election. Nothing unusual here. But a very loud man won that election in a manner that was quite unexpected to many. I myself am rather a-political; but watching the debates between the two candidates, I couldn’t help yelling, “We want Barabbas!” Whether he was our choice or not, we should wish the new President well. To do otherwise is no better than hoping the captain of your ocean liner finds the nearest iceberg because he didn’t invite you to sit at his table. Our own Father President will have to decide if he should invite the new President of the United States to deliver the Commencement Address in the coming year. Whether he does or he doesn’t, Father President can expect several more angry letters in the newspapers and full page ads. If you are thinking of preparing either of these, see my advice above. And stop making fun of the new President’s hair; I enjoy my untamed locks that reach past my shoulders and are mirrored by my waist-length beard. Believe me – nothing is so presidential as a sick flow.

Basketball School: This may be the most unexpected aspect of the fading year – we’re pretty damn darn good at basketball. Amidst the ashes of the football conflagration, let us hold onto the warm bricks of hope that constitute another successful basketball season. Maybe bricks aren’t the best metaphors when talking about basketball, but you get my point…or my three-pointer. In any event, no matter what infelicities 2016 brought, we must all have hope for 2017. And remember, 1879 was a pretty unexpected year for all of us at Notre Dame – but what we rebuilt that very year still proudly stands today.

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Reverse the third and fourth letters, and this football season could aptly be dubbed “The Notre Dame Trial.” Let’s compare and contrast, shall we:

11 days, 270 miles: The weather was so bad we only made five miles the first day. The team only won a single game in the first four outings. Don’t tell me a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – it takes a whole hel heck of a lot more than that: preparation, planning, conviction, desire, zeal. We’ve had some of those to varying degrees; but now with a second victory under our cumulative belts, we need to have all of them, all at once, for every game from here on out.

Cold, Wind, Snow, and Ice: And tomorrow at noon, a hurricane. The elements were hard during the journey; the extremities and the skin suffered – and I didn’t have any of those fruity creams that people use to “moisturize” these days. Every game will bring its own unique hardships. But if we are to make it through this Notre Dame Trial, every hardship must be met with courage and overcome with tenacity. If you’re going to the game tomorrow, wrap yourself in a garbage bag and wear hip-waders.

Beat-Up Old Equipment: We have to recover from injuries faster and we have to stay healthy. If we’re going to make it, physical damage must be avoided at all costs, and all non-life-threatening injuries must be remedied as quickly as possible. Any off the field injuries will be treated as treason.

$310.00: Not a princely sum, but in 1842, nothing to sneeze at. Still, the money had to be used wisely. We have plenty of talent on the team; the issue is using that talent effectively. At certain points in recent games I have looked at our bursars (read: coaches) and realized that if they were managing my $310, we would have been stuck in a frozen swamp in the middle of Indiana, with mule that could perform magic tricks and opossum jerky. You have seven more games – coach to win, not to dazzle.

Rivers and Streams: May not seem like a big deal to most, but none of us could swim. I’ll just make a broad reference to the defense and leave it at that. Watching three Frenchmen and four Paddy Irishmen freak out while wading through rushing, 34-degree, waist-deep water is somewhat similar to watching our defense sometimes. But we made it, and so can they.

I don’t know who is planning to walk the Notre Dame Trail. My advice is, “Don’t do it.” I do know the team that is now going through the Notre Dame Trial. Believe me, “You can do it.”

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Padre’s book, Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame, is available from the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore or Amazon. But you don’t have to walk several hundred miles to got it.

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: On Trial appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

1941 Notre Dame 0, Army 0

From The Notre Dame Scholastic Football Issue (November 1941):

With student spirit on the upsurge as a result of the Illinois rout, the Fighting Irish scrambled through the cheering students at the Circle to make their way to a special train to New York. Speeding eastward, they carried the appeal for revenge on a Cadet eleven that in 1940, with the exception of Steve Juzwik’s brilliant touchdown run from a pass interception, had drubbed all the fight out of a high-riding Irish eleven.

A hard rain that began falling in New York on Friday night virtually washed out all these appeal and dampened the spirits of both Cadet and Irish elevens. Saturday afternoon the rain was still falling as seventy-six thousand onlookers huddled under umbrellas and newspapers, and watched the two teams wade up and down the field for two hours.

It was a fierce, hard hitting game in which both teams were forced to the monotonous procedure of two or three attempts for muddy gains on the line and then a punt. It was Army’s Mazur who kept the Irish sliding in the mud with his seemingly-impossible end runs and amazing cutbacks over the line and his booming punts.

Early in the first quarter, Mazur slid around left end behind an army of blockers to the Irish 25. From there Maupin and Hatch moved the ball to the Notre Dame 10 where, despite the mud, the Irish line braced and threw the Cadets back.

Harry Wright tried to shake Evans or Juzwik loose around the ends, but Army’s ends could not be taken out of play. Evans’ kicks were long but Mazur’s were longer, and the Irish were forced to do most of their mudding in their own back yard.

Late in the second quarter the slimy pigskin rolled off the side of Mazur’s foot on the Army 45. Notre Dame took it up there and with Juzwik sweeping the ends and Evans ploughing for short gains at center, moved to the Cadet 17 where the Army line closed in and the Cadets took the ball on downs.

With Evans and Mazur dueling with third down punts the two teams fought through the third quarter. The Irish went down to the Army 28 on the strength of Creighton Miller’s smashing gains at tackle and Bill Earley’s slashes inside the right end. There the Notre Dame backs lost their footing and Army took over the ball.

The Cadets sent Ralph Hill inside the Irish right end and Hatch over guard to bring the ball down to the Irish 25; there the holes at end and guard closed and the Cadets made big ripples as the Irish forwards cut them down.

With less than two minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Irish machine churned over the Army line but the ticking seconds sped by while the Army line gave ground slowly. On the Cadet 20 yard line with seven seconds of play remaining, Harry Wright moved out on the right wing along with Steve Juzwik and Angelo Bertelli for another try at the Boston College famous triple-flanker, the last chance for the Irish to come out of the Cadet clutch untied and undefeated.

The muddy ball came up from center with a wobbling spin, and sailed through Evans’ arms. He chased it, picked it up, evaded two tacklers only to be tackled and splashed out of bounds as the game ended.

1966 Notre Dame 26, Purdue 14

Thanks for Purdue athletics for providing a laugh as their Throwback Thursday video recaps a Boilermakers’ loss!

From “The 1966 Notre Dame Football Review”:

FRIDAY, HANRATTY SLEPT WELL

National television and “Sports Illustrated” begin their coverage of the ’66 season in South Bend and the Irish respond by unveiling their bombers.

Excerpts from “The Irish Launch A New Ara,” by John Underwood, Sports Illustrated, Oct. 3, 1966.

All last week as Notre Dame prepared to settle a score with Purdue, Ara Parseghian was careful to speak softly when in the vicinity of Terry Hanratty.

“I want to be casual, to be relaxed,” Parseghian explained. “I don’t want to get him nervous like me.”

It was not easy, because Parseghian is the Notre Dame football coach and he is also a chatty fellow with impressible nerve endings. As he talked, he had the pop-eyed look of a man who was holding his breath.

Hanratty is Notre Dame’s new quarterback. His uniform number is 5, which used to be the number of Paul Hornung, the famous swinger. Terrence Hugh Hanratty is stationary. Terry Hugh is 18 years old. He has soft eyes and sunken cheeks and a reputation for being a lamb. When he is sitting down he has a tentative look about him, as if you could remove his chair without altering his position.

Read more…

1928 Georgia Tech 13, Notre Dame 0

From the “Official Football Review – University of Notre Dame – 1928”:

A real team takes victory modestly and defeat without an alibi. Georgia Tech has a powerful team this year, while Knute Rockne’s machine is in a stage of development.

Tech scored in the first five minutes by means of a long pass and then a short one, with Durant doing the pitching and Thomason and Mizell on the receiving end.

These throws brought the ball to the three-yard line, and Mizell took it across from the touchdown. Mizell kicked goal. That ended the scoring ’till two minutes before the close of hostilities, when a Tech man whose name is Father Lumpkin, caught one of Niemiec’s passes and sprinted to the Irish three-yard line. He scored on the second play.

The Irish offense was strong, and the Notre Dame backs penetrated the Georgian’s 10-yard line twice, only to be thrust back or to have passes grounded in the end zone. The Gold and Blue missed sorely the presence of a plunging full-back.

Not an iota of credit is to be taken from Tech, however. Their passing attack was devastating in its power; their line, especially the giant center and captain, Peter Pund, charged through and dumped secondary consistently.

And our Fighting Irish did justice to their name, too; Chevigny and Niemiec played their heads off; Billy Dew gained much yardage; John Colrick snagged several beautiful passes from Niemiec. But it was not our day.

Tech is to be congratulated on her splendid team. Thomason, Mizell and this Father Lumpkin were the main reasons for victory, Mizell particularly being responsible for some sizeable gains.

And Atlanta was a wild place the night of the game. The Engineers had beaten Notre Dame. But not without a bitter struggle. For Notre Dame, the sometimes beaten, always makes the opposition feel that they have been in some sort of battle.

How did the student body feel about the defeat? Almost to a man, it welcomed home the team with a heartier greeting than would have been given had we won.

For, win or lose, Notre Dame is behind her teams. And defeat, occasionally, is inevitable.

The post New on YouTube: A Muddy Tie, Griese Goes Down & Father Lumpkin appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

But, true to form, Spartans wasn’t their first name. As an agricultural college, they first competed as the Aggies. This was changed to the erudite and witty “Michigan Staters,” begging the question “What does a Stater do” – state the matter clearly, or change states of matter? The problem was solved after another week-long symposium of the greatest minds in applied science, who lighted upon “The Michigan State Sport Ons.” Aside from ending a team name in a preposition, this causes one to ask “Is there a sport-off;” either way, Sport Ons or Sport Offs just sound dirty. The solution was presented by local restaurateurs who hailed from Sparta in Greece. Thus were born the Michigan State Caterers – soon changed again to the Michigan State Spartans.

Ever since then, the Spartans have reveled in their tenuous Greek heritage. Recently, they have included a phrase on their uniforms and helmets: μολὼν λαβέ. This is where it gets complicated. The words are obviously ancient Greek, although the Michigan State players usually think it’s some kind of factory printing error. Pronounced like “molṑn labé” (causing Michigan State players to think they have an unsightly mole somewhere on their bodies) the phrase translates literally to “having arrived, take.” Legendarily, it was addressed by Leonidas, king of the Spartans, to Xerxes, Shahanshah of Persia. Xerxes had arrived in Greece for a little pillage and rapine. The Spartans stood in his way. Thus, “Molon Labe” is the ancient equivalent of “Come and Get It!”

And, oh my, the Persians did. Long story short: The Athenians defeated the Persians at Marathon (you’ve heard of that); the Persians went home, vowed revenge, and came back; the Spartans met them in September of 480bc at Thermopylae, a narrow pass in the mountains; Leonidas said “come and get it,” and over the course of three days, the Persians slaughtered the Spartans to a man.

Don’t put that phrase on my uniform! Sure, even though it was a strategic defeat, it was inspirational. But there are no parallels to the Michigan State Spartans – at least none that they should celebrate. First, they are invading Notre Dame, Indiana, not defending East Lansing, Michigan (because, really, who would want to). They are the aggressors; the inspirational advantage is with the Irish. Second, the Persian forces numbered some 100,000, while there were only 300 Spartans in the battle…along with 400 Thebans and 700 Thespians, who never get any credit except for dazzling stage performances. Either way, the Spartans were greatly outnumbered, just like the Irish, of whom there are 12,000; opposing are the forces of Michigan State, a top ten university – by size – with 50,000. Third, you can’t win for losing in football. Nor will it be inspirational for their fans if Michigan State holds the Irish scoreless for three quarters, while also scoring nothing, and then lets Notre Dame win 56-0 in the fourth (however, I do invite them to employ this very strategy). Finally, in ancient Greece everyone hated the Spartans. They enslaved local non-Spartans, and they fought destructive wars with Athens, Corinth, Argos, and Thebes, that ultimately resulted in their own decline. Wait…this sounds just like the Big 10; and come to think of it, you know you’re universally loathed when even the University of Michigan hates you. So maybe there is at least one parallel.

I understand what the Michigan State Spartans are going for with Molon Labe – Come and Get It. It’s similar to General Anthony McAuliffe in command of the American 101^st Airborne Division in the Second World War. As the Germans surrounded him during the Battle of the Bulge, the enemy commander offered McAuliffe the opportunity to surrender or be annihilated along with all of his troops. McAuliffe’s response read: “To the German Commander. NUTS! The American Commander.” That’s the kind of laconic bravery that is remembered through the ages. But it also helps that, unlike the Spartans, the Americans won.

And Anthony Clement McAuliffe was Irish Catholic.

So if Michigan State wants to say “μολὼν λαβέ,” I say “NUTS!” With a 48-28-1 record in our favor, if the Spartans think they’re going to beat the Irish, then they really are nuts. And later this season, when we include a phrase on our uniforms and helmets, it won’t be the last words of a defeated king; it will be the words that have inspired, and will continue to inspire for generations, in war and in peace: God, Country, Notre Dame.

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Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame is available on campus at the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore, and from the ancient Greek warrior-ladies at Amazon. It’s a must-read for every Fighting Irish fan; and it’s a try-to-read for Michigan State fans.

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Lost in Translation appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

By the year 1450, France had been devastated by the Hundred Years’ War. The English had laid waste to the country side, leaving the people hungry and seeking safety. Many fled to the great city of Paris.

But Paris was not great anymore. The loss of able men to the war effort meant Paris was without adequate defenders. Worse, the cost of the war had diverted funds away from vital building, leaving the once-formidable walls of Paris dangerously dilapidated.

In the bitter winter of 1450, a pack of wolves entered the city of Paris. The wolves, too, were hungry. They began preying on the young and the weak of Paris, but soon attacked anyone. The terrified people tried to assuage their fear by naming the leader of the wolf pack after an old injury he sported; they called the wolf Courtaud or “short-tail.” Yet, the Parisians would not be saved by idle words, mockery, and bluster.

The wolves killed some 40 people.

But the proud Parisians would not be defeated by mere wild dogs. A group of their strongest and bravest men gathered together and drove the wolf pack onto the Île de la Cité in the middle of the Seine River. It was an ancient place, the heart of the city, the place where Paris was founded. Once the strong and brave men had trapped the wolf pack on the island, they surrounded the wolves and annihilated them, before a crowd of elated and cheering Parisians.

Now think about this:

The Hundred Years’ War ended in 1453, just three years after the wolf pack entered Paris, where the dogs met their doom.

47+50 = 100

The French were victorious in the Hundred Years’ War.

Paris was saved and once again became a great and proud city after her strong, brave, and loyal sons slew the wolf pack. And they slew the wolf pack on the most sacred spot in the great and proud city – in front of Notre Dame.

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Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame is available in the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore or from Amazon. It’s a must-read for anyone who loves the Fighting Irish…and loves to skewer their opponents.

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Good Hunting appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

But those last two are references from the Old Testament, which was really just the warm-up act for the New Testament headliner. And after Him came the sequels…whom we know as the Saints. Interestingly enough, the Church kicks off its canonization season also on this Sunday. Canonization is the process by which the Church declares someone a Saint. Many people do not properly understand the canonization process – they’re called Catholics. Even more people have no idea what it is or how it works. So, seizing upon this happy coincidence of our season opener falling on the same day as several canonizations, I will explain the process of declaring a Saint in terms everyone can appreciate: College Football.

Becoming a Saint and Winning Championships

Step 1 This is really critical: you have to be dead. Sounds morbid…literally. But you can’t go to heaven unless you die first – real simple. This is just like the off-season. The previous season, whether good or bad, is laid to rest in January, and is either celebrated or mourned. But we have faith that the new season will come again in September. And it might just be heaven.

Step 2 Wait five years. This is so that the Church can determine whether a person has an enduring reputation for holiness. This is like the media deliberating about the enduring significance or relevance of a given team, and whether or not that team has a chance at winning the Championship. However, recent Popes have waived this five year waiting period, making it rather arbitrary…just like the media’s judgments.

Step 3 Opening of the cause for beatification and canonization; at this point the person is called a Servant of God. Just like being ranked in the preseason polls.

Step 4 The informative process, when stories about the person, writings, important actions, are all gathered and considered. The regular season begins – is the team living up to the preseason praise, the early ranking.

Step 5 Evaluation of this information by the Congregation for the Causes of Saints. The College Football Playoff Selection Committee. And they’re just as secretive and opaque as each other. And their decisions are often just as inscrutable. And sometimes swayed by undue influence and politics.

Step 6 Declaration of Heroic Virtue, meaning the person led a remarkably holy life and is now considered Venerable. No one really knows what is taken into consideration and what isn’t. No one really knows what exactly is required to be declared Venerable. Congregation – Venerable; Committee – ranked.

Step 7 Declaration of a miracles. If a person is really in heaven and really tight with God, he can ask The Boss for favors. This is proof that the person is worthy of the title Blessed. On the other side of the equation, if a team beats an opponent ranked significantly higher and does so in spectacular fashion, they move into the Top Ten (and it’s often miraculous).

I pause here to note an anomaly – some would say an inequality – in the process of canonization. The majority of people need two miracles to be canonized. But some only need one. For instance, if a person has been martyred for the faith, only one miracle is required to be declared a Saint. If a person merely led an extraordinarily holy life, two miracles are required for canonization. But not in every case – some holy folks get in with only one miracle…just because. Sure, if you got killed for Jesus, you deserve a break. But sometimes living a long and arduously holy life is a lot harder. It’s not mine to judge. I simply point out that if a team is in the SEC, it only takes…

Step 8 The Congregation votes to recommend that the Pope canonize a person, just as the Committee votes on the four teams to enter the playoffs. The Congregation does not proclaim a person to be a Saint, just as the Committee does not declare the Champion…though they so desperately want to.

Step 9 Pope thinks about it = semifinals.

Step 10 Canonization = Champion.

For four people, Sunday is their championship in Rome. For the Fighting Irish, the process is underway, but swings into high gear in Texas on the same day. Though we’re not fighting for canonization, there is one last similarity: certain Saints are called Athleta Christi Nobilis – Noble Champions of The Lord.

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*These are both in Chapter 5 of Matthew. If Jesus was capable of miracles, he was also capable of metaphors.

**Solomon sacrificed 22,000 cattle. We only need to sacrifice a few Longhorns. God was really pis upset with the Hebrews who worshiped the Golden Calf; we don’t hate the worshipers of Bevo, but that’s not going to stop us ruining their day…and their season.

Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame is available in the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore or from Amazon. Like the Old Testament, it talks a lot about smiting enemies…and occasionally tells you how.

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Sunday Services appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Personal Supplies

– Shower Caddy: This better not mean a fellow who carries your soap into the scrub room with you. Come to think of it, how much are you taking to bathe, such that you need a carrying basket. Soap and shampoo can be handled manually; and if you are thinking of bringing a thing called a luffa or a pouf, don’t – they look filthy and probably should be incorporated into parietals somehow.
– Shower Shoes: Unless your hall is carpeted with rusty nails and razor blades, just walk into and out of the bathroom. If you’re worried about contracting some sort of foot fungus, perform a community service and carry a bottle of bleach with you for a quick washdown of the shower floor. In that case, you may have a toiletry basket; but don’t confuse the shampoo and the bleach.

When this was a strong and proud institution of life-lesson-learning, none of these items was necessary. We just marched the lads down to the lake, shoved them in, and threw bars of lard soap at them. We hung towels in the trees and went back to work. Later, if there was an extra towel left…we said prayers…and maybe got out the shovels.

– Quarters (for laundry): I’ve seen those machines that eat coins in exchange for returning a pile of wet clothes – by which I mean the dryers. If you intend to bring quarters for your laundry, pack an extra steamer trunk full of them so you can cover your first two weeks. Said machines are not what we would call…hmmm…economical or efficient. I’m no accountant, but I would suggest bringing paper money and converting it to coinage once arrived on campus – call me old fashioned. But do bring at least one roll of quarters, should you be choosing to visit some of South Bend’s finer public houses and boozing kens. Not for purchases, for packing a proper punch.

– Personal Hygiene Items: Absolutely. August and September are sultry, jungle-ish months. The University magazine may have a column called “Seen and Heard,” but no one here wants material for one called “Smelt.”

– School Supplies: Really? We’re going to specify a shower caddy and shower shoes, but then just throw in there a vague ‘school supplies’? Are we a university or a beauty parlor?

– Laptop/Cellphone and Chargers: No idea. I sincerely hope, barring birth accident or catastrophic injury, everyone has a lap with a top (and sides and a bottom for that matter). Telephones of any sort are an occasion of sin for college students; the kind that have cells could eventually develop tissues and organs, and then we’re back into including them in parietals.

Organizing Your Room

– Pillows/Pillow Cases – Bed Sheets: We used to provide these. The pillows were good for sleeping upon, and holding the door open in a stiff breeze. The sheets not only covered the bed, but served as highly effective exfoliating and depilatory aids – hence no need for a shower caddy when going to the washroom.

– Comforter/Blankets: If we actually have to tell an incoming freshman to bring a blanket, refund his deposit because we’ve made a terrible mistake. Furthermore, the Comforter is the Holy Spirit – you don’t bring him to Notre Dame, He brings you to Notre Dame.

– Basic Cleaning Supplies: This would only apply to my loyal daughters. Lads, don’t bother bringing them, because I know you’ll never use them (though you could barter them to your sister dorm for beer money).

– Masking Tape for Posters: Again, is this an essential detail? If I’m a new student reading this, I’m more interested in whether I have living quarters or a broom closet. Besides which, we sell a whole variety of lamps on campus – I’m pretty sure tape and all sorts of adhesives can be found locally.

– Fan: Notre Dame attracts 80,000 fans six times a Fall like moths to a flame. We’ve got this covered.

Check with Roommates

Here are listed: mini-fridge, television, stereo, video game systems, carpet (how the hell heck does that fit with the previous items), furniture/futons, and stackable crates. You know, that stuff. We’ll specify masking tape over sellotape, and insist on shower caddies and night lights, but when it comes to food storage, seating, and floor-coverings apparently anything goes. And who needs that other kind of tape – measuring tape.

Do Not Bring

– Microwaves, Hot Plates, Toasters, Coffee Pots: Anything that makes fire. Wish I had thought of creating this rule in 1878.

– Air Conditioners: You must learn that, thanks to the Original Sin of our parents Adam and Eve, there is injustice in the world. Some of you will be given air conditioning; some will live in halls “with character.” Cancer happens, too – this is your first lesson in an unfair world.

– Nails: Only the maintenance department may have these…and centurions (but they only get three).

– Candles, Incense: You don’t have to bring them because we’ve got plenty at Sacred Heart and the Grotto. You just have to visit – repeatedly.

– Hoverboards: We don’t allow these nifty gadgets that magically coast along the roadways and spontaneously burst into flame. So give them as a going-away gift to your friends, especially if they are soon to enroll at Texas, Michigan State, Miami, USC, BC, FSU, Michigan…

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One essential item for all students coming to campus is Padre’s book –  Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame. But you don’t have to bring it – the book is available in the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore and from the industrious women-warriors at Amazon (that’s who works there, right?)

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Bring It! (or not) appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

I am no longer the President of the University. I have seen 15 successors come and go, and one is still sitting in my chair. I know well the burdens these men have carried, since I carried them first. I oversaw many projects in my years as President; but I’m ambivalent on this one. Still, I understand how it came to pass. I speak neither of myself nor of any of my successors. I simply use the character of Father as an explanatory tool.

Father woke up one night in a sweat. Not because he was panicked, but because he lives in one of the old halls with a radiator that clangs like a trolley and kicks out heat like the boiler on a locomotive. But he also had something on his mind. He needed more seats in the Stadium. Being a philosophical sort, Father knew that the problem stemmed from Notre Dame Football’s evangelical nature. A man says to an Alum, “I love Notre Dame football,” the Alum says, “We shall go.” A man says to an Alum, “I hate Notre Dame football,” the Alum says, “I shall change your heart by taking you there.” An Alum owns a company and is told he should have a retreat with his top management; he says, “We shall go to a home game.” An Alum owns a huge company, and he says to himself, “I must keep my many corporate clients happy – I shall take them all to home games.” But these people and Alumni of a certain…ehem…age, are not really the sort you want near the field, because they don’t…what’s the word…care or cheer. Father has been told the answer: Luxury boxes.

Father has learned this from a wise man who brings him messages. We’ll call that man the Savvy One. The Savvy One has told Father that he can address the evangelical issue with luxury boxes, and he can satisfy another need: a real big movie screen. The coach is a demanding little redhead (though no worse than Rockne), and it is the Savvy One who keeps him happy. Coach wants a big screen, because it’s hard to convince a young man to play here when his grade school had more modern scoreboards. The problem is, at Notre Dame, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it does break, have the guy who donated it fix it for free; and if it’s too expensive to fix, leave it, and call it ‘Tradition.’ But even Father knows these scoreboards go beyond old-school, past retro-chic, and right into dumpy.

Father knows he can’t sell luxury and an enormous television. Oh, someone will pay for them; but there will be that whole ‘the money could go to something better’ whine from several different groups. Heck, Ted wouldn’t let Ned build the arena until he got his library first. If Father wants his Stadium additions, he’ll have to put them in pretext…er…context. Father asks himself, ‘What else do we need,’ or if he’s being honest, ‘How can I bury/hide this?’ Father knows that for a long time, there’s been a need for a new Student Center. The current one is a 19^th Century science hall (see discussion about ‘tradition’ above). There were plans to build a new hotel-spa-conference-center-megaplex and make the Morris Inn into a second student center. But the Alumni put their cumulative foot down, because when they return, they want to stay as close to the dorms as possible…even though when they lived in dorms they hated it and couldn’t wait to move out. Father also needs new exercise facilities, so his athletes can have the good ones all to themselves, and the rest of the students can have cheap new ones. But Father can’t build any more buildings on the parking lots, because as much as Joe Dillon Hall wants to look like an Adonis while he’s a student, once he turns into an alumnus, he’ll curse a blue streak if you make him walk 15 extra feet from his car to the Stadium. And then there are the green people. They’re not tree people, because you can plant a thousand trees, but if you occupy a couple hundred square feet of grass with a building, ‘Killing Fields’ doesn’t just apply to Pol Pot. So Father will put the luxury boxes into a student center that he will build onto the Stadium – no parking spaces or grass killed, and Alumni will fall all over themselves to pay for it, because it’s ever so close to the Holy Grail…having your name on the Stadium.

Father knows he’s only half way there. He’s got a lot more luxatoriums to hide, and if the professors don’t get a piece of the pie, the F-word will come out: Football Factory. “So who wants some shiny new classrooms,” asks Father. It’s been 25 years since the Arts and Letters money-pit was thrown a bone. The other half of the luxos will be buried in…first come, first served…sold! Anthropsychchurchmusic. None of these make any money so they can’t pay for their own buildings. But stick those buildings onto the Stadium and the things pay for themselves. Digital media? Not sure what that is, but take your floors. Exhibition, conference, entertainment space – we’ll make room. Hel Heck, thinks Father: I have to hide that swimming-pool-sized television somewhere.

Father looks at it and…sure it’s a little big, but so are wedding cakes, and people love wedding cakes…it actually accomplishes everything, and everyone gets something out of it.

Now, I say I’m ambivalent because of a few things:

– It’s a bit pricey. The Project costs more than it took to build and run the University for the first 50 years…combined. I understand – inflation, progress, we don’t make our own bricks anymore, “building safety codes,” and all that. Plus, I shoved sleeping quarters, dining facilities, classrooms, and offices into the Main Building all at once, and that beast cost a mint in its day.

– Why do we need a skyscraper student center? When students asked for an activities center when I was President, I told them to go play on the lawn or swim in the lake. You want to work out? Chop wood, lift heavy rocks. Why do student clubs need offices? Meet in an empty classroom (we will soon have five-times more empty classrooms at the end of each day). Although, having a club office is good life training, since students can go to the office, sit around, talk, eat, do anything but work – just like a regular office.

– Why do Arts and Letters subjects need fancy new ‘teaching spaces’? I could teach philosophy or Latin in a wooded glen…AND DID. You make do with what you have. Besides, this is Arts and Letters; all the fancy picture machines and gizmos we put in those classrooms are just another way to lull students to sleep during lecture.

– Finally, why does anyone feel the need to pretend that this is a thoughtful way to get more use out of the Stadium and bring the campus together at a …Crosspurpose …Crosswise …Criscross …StationoftheCross? It might be outsized, ostentatious, and expensive, but The Project meets a lot of needs. Enough said. We needed it – we built it. Call it whatever you want. If it doesn’t work out, Father will simply call it, “The House That Jack Built.”

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Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame is available from the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore and Amazon. If you read it and like it, tell a friend. If you read it and hate it, you must have gone to Michigan or USC.

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Cross Your Heart appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.