I have no jokes today. No witty insults to throw at Arizona State. No fictional storylines to throw Notre Dame players into.

No, this isn’t because I’ve hit a creative wall. I’m not mailing it in because the audio version of this post debuts on the radio this evening. It certainly isn’t for a lack of caring either.

It’s because the main thing consuming my mind is just simply winning this game. After all, I’ve preached patience for the past couple of weeks in regards to the playoff rankings. The hell-raising arguments can start with a defeat of the Sun Devils.

So, yes, I have no jokes. Instead, my mind is full of visions of Brian VanGorder’s defense putting pressure on whoever is taking snaps for Arizona State whether Taylor Kelly or Mike Berovici, the apparent Achilles’ heel to the potent Arizona State offense. Even with VanGorder being in his comfort zone of getting a QB out of theirs, I think about how the Irish secondary will match up against WR stud Jaelan Strong.

And what of the injury to Joe Schmidt (by the way, did you hear he’s a walk-on?!)? Certainly Nyles Morgan is a physical upgrade, but will the “defensive QB” role prove to much for anyone to fill? Or will this be a breakout game in which we see the linebacker combination of Nyles Morgan and Jaylon Smith give Irish fans a glimpse into an incredible future?

Of course I can’t get the offense out of my head. Folston has a chance to go three consecutive games with 100 rushing yards (and let’s not forget, that mark is damn near four games with his 98 rushing yard performance against North Carolina). Golson has a chance to continue the dark horse Heisman buzz after his ND record 6 TD game.

That’s what currently resides in my mind. Jokes will come later. For now, beat the Sun Devils.

The Roundup

At least one of the Marooned 5 has been returned to us. Rejoice, y’all!

University of Notre Dame senior safety Eilar Hardy has been cleared by
the NCAA to participate in competition.

— Michael Bertsch (@NDsidBertschy) November 7, 2014

This place was reserved for a Jameis Winston point shaving joke. However, the original source of that story seems…well, rather sketchy to say the least. However, Winston still keeps his heel status mostly in thanks this week to his lawyer who wants Winston’s hearing delayed, a request made after he made the alleged victim’s name public (link removes any mention of alleged victim’s name).

Remember when those “Bob Stoops to ND” rumors were a thing? Your turn, Michigan!

I’m not even sure what’s going on in Aggieland anymore. Newly suspended quarterback, Kenny Hill added another strange page to his saga. This drama now stars Sean Salisbury whom claims that he was retained by Hill’s family to coach and mentor the young QB. A source later denied this and Salisbury went on his radio show to say “nuh uh, you totally did”. I think College Station is longing for the days of a “Johnny Football partying in Vegas” photo.

Ole Miss’ AD is mad. He sent a strongly worded letter to an Auburn newspaper for using a photo of Laquon Treadwell’s terrible injury in their story. Also happening this week, trolling Mississippi State fans on Twitter:

. @Therealbrutius The real question is…..do you want to meet face to face? pic.twitter.com/HZaHd3C9nD

— Ross Bjork (@RossBjorkAD) November 4, 2014

And now your moment of Nix… Now with 100% more Taylor Swift wearing Notre Dame gear.

The Booze

To humor myself, I Googled “Arizona Tea Cocktails” and low and behold, there is such a thing as an Arizona Stinger featuring two shots of vodka mixed with the readily available beverage. I also forgot that the Arizona Beverage Company owns the Arnold Palmer brand, meaning you can also easily roll with a John Daly: a mixture of vodka, lemonade and iced tea.

Now, the above probably works well as a refreshing drink for anyone enjoying the 80-degree Arizona weather; however, for the rest of us dealing with colder weather I want to make a suggestion that makes a very welcome return: BOURBON. ALL OF IT!