Since everyone seems to be talking about the schedule, I’ll throw in my two-cents (mind you, that’s still a lot of money in my book).
September 1, Navy in Dublin: I used to like the Navy so much better when they had the good grace to lose for several decades straight. I’m still not sitting too easy with them. But the Ireland thing is…quaint. I suppose we’re giving back to the nation that has given us so many students – the noisiest, most ill-disciplined group of young street rowdies ever.
September 8, Purdue at Home: Well that will be nice. Aside from a few black marks during our recent wanderings in the desert, Purdue has been pretty gentlemanly during this series played in three centuries. Of course what would you expect from a team that has willingly been called Pumpkin Shuckers, Cornfield Sailors, and Hayseeds by their own fans.
September 15, Michigan State in Hell East Lansing: It is appropriate that we will be playing this team in darkness, since I am quite certain they constitute one of God’s modern plagues. It’s bad enough we have to play these hoodlums and huddellumps at all – but on the day dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows? Evidently, they threw out the hand Missal I used to require when scheduling our season.
September 22, Mahh…Miiugh…Michigan at Home: We tried our first night game in 1891. Man alive, that was one hell of a fire! Had to cancel the whole night game thing when the CSCs started using their torches in attempts to burn the Michigan players as heretics. I must now stop speaking of this team and hurry off to wash.
October 6, Miami in Chicago (which by some strange magic is now considered Home): When I first arrived in Northern Indiana in 1842, the Potawatomi elders were good enough to teach me the native language. I’m a bit rusty now, but I’m fairly certain “Miami” means “The people of hookers and booze.”
October 13, Stanford at Home: On October 13, the BVM last appeared to three children at Fatima. She entrusted them with three secrets. The Third Secret of Fatima may now be told: Our Lady’s University will not lose to the Tree People again until the end of time. Now everyone, listen to Your Mother.
October 20, Brigham Young University at Home: I’m all for supporting fellow religiously affiliated colleges. But does this one count?
October 27, Oklahoma in Terra Incognita: When did Oklahoma become a state? How did I miss this? I’m not sure what they put in the corn they feed to those husky farmhands out there, but I understand they once went 47 games without losing. Of course we defeated them. Football Lads, hear me now: this is not the year to let the Sooners have revenge.
November 1, The Feast of All Saints at Sacred Heart: These people have been dishing out large help to Notre Dame for 169 years. Every student is required to attend.
November 3, Pittsburgh at Home: The Panthers dragged us through the mud – I mean literally, since it was on our Stadium’s “turf” – for the longest, most miserable game in Irish history. This would be a great time to torture the Panthers for four extra periods…but I’m given to understand that there will be no more mud to contend with (if you know what I mean).
November 10, Boston Damned College at Their Hive: Don’t get me started. Not here. Not now.
November 17, Wake Forest at Home: Who? Oh, right. Well, we have such an abysmal record for the senior wake…err, I mean senior game… that we can only hope this polite high school team from the South won’t give us too much trouble.
November 24, The Great Satan in Babylon: Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Trojans; may God rebuke them, we humbly pray and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell USC and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.
EFS CSC
- Good Fridays w/Padre: WORTHY! - November 30, 2018
- Good Fridays w/Padre: The Horror - October 26, 2018
- Good Fridays w/Padre: BALLS! - September 7, 2018
Brian
Solid post, Father.
I appreciate your outing of Oak as a member of the natural grass propaganda machine. I always found his sod-photo tweets to be less than genuine. Thank God there’s someone on campus with the guts to speak the truth.
Father Sorin
A little bird told me — that little bird being the Holy Spirit. I’ve asked HS to speak to the Athletic Department. He says he does…but the Athletic Department listens only occasionally. Explains a few things, doesn’t it.
The Biscuit
AMEN PADRE. AMEN.
kyndfan
Don’t mess with me! Is it grass or carpet?!
Great post Padre!