EFS ‘s Summer To-Do List:
- Work on suntan–hands and upper face only.
- Come to terms with new campus sculpture.
- Teach football players how to hold their liquor.
- Try to predict what bizarre controversy John J. will step in next.
- Read up on manmade grass (still not clear on concept).
- Book passage on steamer bound for Dublin.
- Fumigate Zahm (losing battle)
- See if Leprechaun turns to butter when chased repeatedly around tree.
- Turn at least one swan into delightful feather pillow.
- Re-caulk log chapel–this time without lard product.
- Visit Carroll–three days: two for travel to and from.
- Devise tailgate moderation plan to accommodate endless night games.
- Complete Hesburgh Challenge…and repeat and repeat
- Compose vulgar text insulting Michigan for T-shirts.
- Master Slip-N-Slide.
- Continue to fight dark forces of the Jesuits.
- Figure out how to get cut of Sorin Society revenue (it’s my damn name).
- Prepare elaborate and extravagant pranks to play on incoming freshmen.
- Save yet more cats and dogs from Dining Hall abattoir.
- Spend quality hang-out time with BVM.
University Founder
Son, in 199 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: There is a God, and I'm pretty tight with Him.
Now I’m going to tell you a whole lot of things I’ve kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew me. I was along before your time, but you all know what a tradition I am at Notre Dame. And one of the most important things I ever said was, “Friends, sometime when my University is up against it and the breaks are beating the students, tell them to go out there with all they’ve got and win at everything for Padre. I don’t know exactly where I’ll be then, friends,” I said, “but I’ll be looking right over your shoulder.”
Son, in 199 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: There is a God, and I'm pretty tight with Him.
Now I’m going to tell you a whole lot of things I’ve kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew me. I was along before your time, but you all know what a tradition I am at Notre Dame. And one of the most important things I ever said was, “Friends, sometime when my University is up against it and the breaks are beating the students, tell them to go out there with all they’ve got and win at everything for Padre. I don’t know exactly where I’ll be then, friends,” I said, “but I’ll be looking right over your shoulder.”
Latest posts by Father Sorin (see all)
- Good Fridays w/Padre: WORTHY! - November 30, 2018
- Good Fridays w/Padre: The Horror - October 26, 2018
- Good Fridays w/Padre: BALLS! - September 7, 2018
A gentleman has suggested I add, “Lively debate regarding merits of Jumbotron installation.” Interesting… but I don’t know what one such Jumbotron might be. By the frenzied carpet-chewing the mention of it causes, I presume it is some virulent flea-born disease.
Said gentleman also suggested I add, “Potential Kentucky Blue Grass Replacement.” How about a field of four-leaf-clovers. Can’t hurt to be lucky.
May I please put down this delightful Nola Blonde and suggest that teaching Tommy to find the hole may be at once beneficial and also a perceived du Lac violation?
Put down the Nola Blonde and put a bar of soap in your mouth. I’ll add the following to my list: “21. Teach young Rees how to use opaque cups and how to STAY INDOORS.”
“New campus sculpture”? Have they put up some additional monstrosity, or is this just “new” as in “added over the last forty years”?
Every summer, the sculptures seem to spring from the ground like obscene, tortured flowers. I am fairly certain that one of the more recent additions is actually a back-scratcher for an elephant.
#4- The Irish are fighting socialism now.
#12- as long as the student athletes are staying out of trouble I’ll call it a success.
#14- Ann Arbor is a whore, an oldie but a goodie