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Home > Notre Dame Football > Stanford, mocked

Stanford, mocked

September 24, 2010 by Father Birdonnell

Reasons not to like Stanford University:

1. They made Tyrone Willingham look halfway decent for a few years, thus inflicting him on Notre Dame. Then that woman shaved her head. All Stanford’s fault, really.

2. Jim Harbaugh. Whines and pouts during games like a two-year-old leaving Chuck-E-Cheese before the animatronic garage band has finished “Proud Mary”. He embarrasses humanity at least once a game. Also, as domer_mq notes: went to Michigan.

3. Their halftime shows. I was in Ireland during the Stanford band’s salute to the Potato Famine. I’m all about the mocking, clearly, but it was kind of difficult to explain to my Irish friends what was so hilarious about a million deaths. I didn’t really try that hard, though, to be honest.

In any event, their collection of YouTube videos is thousands deep. Everything at Stanford is documented and instantly uploaded. Not a sparrow farts, but a member of Stanford’s videography department is there to capture it. They also have the standard boilerplate academic commercials that roll through football games from time to time, just to remind you that Stanford is more than just a football school that won its last national championship in 1926 (and they shared that with Alabama, so let’s call that half a national championship, really). Here’s one example.

To summarize: “Blah blah blah…science! Blah blah blah… collaboration!” accompanied by unnecessary helicopter tracking shots and use of green screen technology. You know what, here’s a better summary:



We mock you, Stanford. We mock you and your, your… healthy endowment! And… your, your breezy attitude, and your…proximity to the Pacific Ocean and your, your… water polo dominance. Go stuff yourselves.

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Father Birdonnell
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Filed Under: Notre Dame Football

About Father Birdonnell

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Brad

    September 24, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Fact: No one mocks LNIII’s healthy endowment.

  2. Flem

    September 24, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Nice work Father Birdonnell! I would also add the ridiculousness of packing Spanish tile into every orifice on their entire campus. Sweet, your school looks like a Columbian drug compound, nice decorating scheme. Also, don’t forget that their mascot is a FREAKING TREE! I look forward to the day when a couple of UC Berkeley students handcuff themselves to it.

    • Father Birdonnell

      September 24, 2010 at 4:07 pm

      No joke. Time to get scarface off the building committee.

  3. The Biscuit

    September 24, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    i especially like the Tiger Woods inclusion. 2 years ago? A plus. Now? Mockworthy.

  4. tjak

    September 24, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    Plus, Condaleeza Rice turned her back on Notre Dame and is now a major Stanford player. WMD’s et al, wow what a Secretary of State. Go Irish!

  5. trey

    September 25, 2010 at 7:33 am

    Any school that makes it their mission to solving a fake “global” issue is not worth my time.

    • The Biscuit

      September 26, 2010 at 12:37 am

      trey, we all know that the ice caps really arent melting, coal is awesome and so is big oil. so lets not got there.

  6. DayBreakBoys

    September 25, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    I cannot believe our defense is SO FREAKING TERRIBLE. We will be lucky to finish .500.

    WHY IS NO ONE MAKING A BIG DEAL OF THIS?!

  7. Jed

    September 25, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    I think our defense was about as good as you could expect. Our offense was not good at all. The offense couldn’t generate anything and the defense paid the price.

    • daybreakboys

      September 25, 2010 at 9:27 pm

      I disagree. The offense has been the only thing keeping us in the last 2 games at all. We can score 75% of the time but our defense can’t stop a drive to save our lives.

      • The Biscuit

        September 26, 2010 at 12:38 am

        what game were you watching? the D had rough patches and cant stop a 3rd and long to save their lives, but they held a number of times today, generated turnovers, and our O couldnt put up more than 6 points in real play (meaning, when the game was still within reach). The O carried the D in games 2 and 3. The D put in a winning effort today, and the O simply sucked.

        • DayBreakBoys

          September 26, 2010 at 8:52 am

          I see your point but I still disagree. Offense sucked, yes, but against the best team we’ve played all year. We scored about as many points as I expected. I didn’t see our O scoring many times against this team. Frankly to me it looked like the only ones who wanted to be out there were Riddick and Allen.

          And I’m sorry but I don’t see defense doing a thing, 4 weeks in a row. If you throw a pass over 10 yards at any time our D is for sure to blow the coverage. Every.Single.Time. Even against bad teams our offense will not be able to keep up with that. At least Luck was the best QB we’ll face all year, but it doesn’t make me feel much better.

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