With the fairly recent news that Texas and Notre Dame will square off on Sunday of Labor Day weekend 2016, I thought it’d be interesting to take a look at some other holidays on which a football game would be timely. So, without further ado, if you will, please, this:
1. Veterans Day: in the rest of the world, mostly, November 11 is called Armistice Day or Remembrance Day. The day commemorates the end of the First World War, the guns of which fell silent on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the war’s fourth year. Despite the fact that all the combatants knew the fighting would cease at 1100, the generals felt more gains were necessary. Over three hundred Americans were killed on the day. Among them was Sergeant Henry Gunther, killed with just one minute left in the war. Opponent: Navy, Army.
2. Columbus Day: now rife with political import, Columbus Day commemorates the discovery of the New World by white people. Not from Scandinavia. Opponent: Florida State.
3. Patriot Day: not to be confused with Patriots’ Day, Patriot Day commemorates the terror attacks of 9/11 or 7/11, depending on who’s talking. Opponent: Air Force.
4. Rosh Hashanah: the Jewish New Year commemoration would be ideal for those who want a sunset kickoff AND the chance to play on New Year’s Day. Twice. In the same season. Opponent: Temple.
5. Sukkot: what goes better with football than beers and brats? Apples and honey, of course! Opponent: Temple, Georgia Tech.
6. Diwali: a game played amid the splash and color of the Hindu festival of lights would allow the Irish to curry favor with fans in the world’s largest democracy. Opponent: USC.
7. Yom Kippur: the Hebrew Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur is the most solemn of holidays and calls the faithful to fasting and repentance. Work, leather shoes, sex, and levity are forbidden. Opponent: Purdue.
8. All Saints Day: this is a big deal here in the Big Easy and we use the opportunity to go to church and the cemetery, to wash and clean the tombs. Opponent: LSU, Tulane.
9. Thanksgiving Day: with Thursday night college football now a thing and the NFL as much a part of our nation’s celebration as turkey and door buster deals, getting to watch the Irish while you digest surely would be gravy. Opponent: UMass.
10. Halloween: as long as the game is on ABC and we get more zombies, getting to watch the Irish while eating my daughter’s candy would be a very sweet treat indeed. Opponent: doesn’t matter. What part of Herbie pissing himself aren’t you getting?