Students at Indiana University saw a Dominican priest and thought he was a Ku Klux Klansman. This is not a joke. Oh, how I wish this really were a joke. They saw his Rosary and thought it was a whip. Since most students at Indiana University didn’t attend Catholic grade school or high school, how would they ever know that a Rosary can be used very effectively as a whip?
A priest wearing the white habit of his order – an order that’s been around for roughly 800 years, represented in art, and much more recently, shown on film and even on television – is presumed to be a Grand Dragon. What is being taught at Big Ten schools? If a whip is a more common item to presume a person is holding than a Rosary, what is occupying the thoughts of America’s college students? The mind reels…well, at least mine does:
A student at Iowa saw a nun and thought it was an Emperor Penguin.
A student at Purdue saw a monk and thought it was a knife-murderer in an Edvard Munch mask.
A student at Minnesota saw a Franciscan and thought it was a Jedi Knight.
A student at Wisconsin saw a diocesan priest and thought it was someone from the Matrix.
A student at Ohio State saw a bishop and thought it was a post-hole digger walking under its own power.
A student at Illinois saw a Mormon missionary and thought a grocery store bagger was lost.
A student at Miami saw road workers in orange vests picking up trash on the side of the road and thought it was the football team chain-gang.
A student at Virginia Tech saw a urinal and thought it was for washing potatoes.
A student at Florida State saw people making moonshine in the woods and thought it was an alumni reception.
A student at USC saw smoke and flame shooting out of a manhole and thought it was the entrance to his dorm.
A student at Michigan saw a crazed lunatic talking to himself as he ran across campus and…no, that really was the head football coach.
A student at Alabama saw the Porta Potty truck drive by and though his house was being moved.
A student at Oklahoma saw a police car and knew his ride had arrived.
A student at Boston College saw a Jesuit and thought it was a witch…turns out, he was right.
A student at Notre Dame saw a squirrel in a garbage can and thought the rector wasn’t feeding his French Bulldog enough.
A student at Michigan State saw a short, bearded figure dressed in green and thought it was the Leprech mother.
A student at Texas saw a group of men in gold helmets and knew defeat had come for the Longhorns.
Padre’s book Father Sorin Says: The Founder Comments on Today’s Notre Dame is available from the Hammed Notre dame Bookstore and on Amazon. As you can tell, it’s the perfect gift for fans of other teams.