Continuing the riveting coverage on HLS of Notre Dame quarterbacks and fans’ spelling issues, I began to wonder if people weren’t actually spelling Crist’s name incorrectly and were actually discussing the possibility of Jesus leading Notre Dame onto the field against South Florida on September 3rd. With that thought in mind, I decided to do a breakdown of Dayne vs Jesus in a classic Tale of the Tape.
| Category | Crist | Christ | Advantage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Arm Stength | Can hit all throws on route tree. Tight spiral on passes. Sometimes will short hops deep outs (more mental than physical issue) | “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone†Potential aversion to passing game? |  |
| Accuracy | Struggles throwing to his left. Forces some throws. Hail Mary pass ended up in seats | Pro: Any Hail Mary will be completed. Prediction of betrayal was true Con: Spoke of his return….Still waiting |
 |
| Mobility/Awareness | Has decent speed. Can run zone read with him. Runs too high. Needs to learn to take hits better | Has traveled all over. Unable to dodge Romans. Has great late-game awareness but could improve decision making | |
| Mental Toughness | According to anonymous message board posters, lacks “itâ€. Still not sure what it is. Further research indicates “it†may be a defense that allows 7 ppg. | Claims to “turn other cheek†but prone to explosive outbursts (See: ‘Den of Robbers’ incident in Jerusalem temple) |  |
| Physical Toughness | Has had several non-contact injuries | Risen from injuries that would have killed others. | |
| Leadership | Teammates seem to rally around him. Led comebacks on O against Michigan only to have defense drop the ball. Part of Navy debacle | Has billions of followers of his teachings. People have died for him. One red flag: 2 of 12 closest friends lacked trust in him | |
| Off field Issues | None | Potential Recruiting Issue – Romans paid 30 silvers for him. Did he have knowledge? “One of you will betray me tonight†quote could be dangerous | |
| Miscellaneous | Actually able to play in 2011 | University is named after his Mother so nepotism issues exist. Does not currently exist in a physical form. | |
And in a major shocker, Crist defeats Christ 4-3-1. “It is done.”
Next time on Tale of the Tape: Tommy Rees vs. Reese’s Pieces. Who Ya Got?
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“According to anonymous message board posters, lacks “itâ€. Still not sure what it is. Further research indicates “it†may be a defense that allows 7 ppg.”
Excellent. Let’s hope we have something close this year.
“Are you saying Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”
No.
Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
I’m taking Rees in the next matchup. If it’s a warm-weather game, the ooey gooey mess left by Reese might make the football a little slippery.
“Does not currently exist in a physical form.”
You weren’t a theology major, were you? (Or maybe you were, but just in the 80s?)
Not even close to a theo major.
Buddy Christ looks like he could be a hellova tight end…no sailed ball in the end zone is out of reach for him.
Reese’s Pieces or Reese’s Cups.
Rees >> Pieces
Cups >> Everything
rec your cups point. fuh sho.
I agree with that. It isn’t fair to compare anyone against Reese’s Cups. That’s why I chose Reese’s Pieces
Your picture is of Cups, blasphemer.
Dammit Poot.
Just had to try it out.
Bravo Poot. Christ would have only been a 3 star coming out of HS. He plateaued, and was almost uncoachable because of “Daddy issues.”
Neither Forcier nor Marinovich sound Jewish.
“Does not currently exist in a physical form.â€
*ahem*
Holy Communion a.k.a the Eucharist. But it isn’t known for throwing tight spirals.
How about Frisbees?
Christ suspected to have alcohol problems, keeps wine in water bottle.
You forgot Christ’s ability to walk on water when considering mobility… good for those November games in Notre Dame Stadium.
Crist cannot even start and finish a single season as a starter/backup… lmao
Christ wins.
Christ stepped in when the incumbent John Baptist went down with a neck injury. He had a good 4-year run, but disappeared near draft day.
Nowadays, he does some life coaching and inspirational speaking.
3-year run, obviously.
Damn fat fingers