The thought raced through Brian Kelly’s mind as he gazed into his mirror. Clad in a navy-blue suit and gold tie, he clutched his inspiration loosely in his hand. More notes, scribbles, and arrows littered the page than his five-wide goal line section of the playbook.

How does one prepare for Rice with Michigan around the corner? 

The question plagued him even before fall camp had started. He could only serve so many rice-themed dishes at the training table. It was a poor attempt to manufacture hate against their opponents from Houston. He briefly considered demanding a serving of owl, but feared the repercussions from the outside.

He knew all too well that perfection starts in week one. You can never count any opponent out. Just ask his bitter foes to the north who felt the need to host a rematch against Appalachian State to try and slay demons that should have never existed in the first place.

That simply couldn’t happen to his team. As disastrous as South Florida was in 2011, he knew that was a loss to a BCS team. Still, it kept him awake some nights, shooting out of his bed in a cold sweat due to images of fumbles, interceptions, and passes bouncing off a receiver’s helmet. In those dreams he’d transform into something awful, a foul purple-skinned monster whose wrath could produce such violent noise that it could paralyze a man in fear.

That nightmare always ended in the same fashion. He would see his player, no his victim, fall to his knees before him terrified of what their mistake had done to their coach. He would feel his rage swell, bubbling over, ready to erupt like an Irish volcano. Eventually, something would snap and he’d rush after his paralyzed prey.

And then he’d wake up as if his internal alarm clock refused to let him witness the terrible outcome. In the back of his mind, he knew the end result of his murderous rage, but he never wanted to see it play out before him, even in his dreams. Even thinking about it caused a small sweat to emerge on his brow.

That isn’t you, Brian, he thought to himself as he reached for his handkerchief, what you are about to do is the real you. You’ll channel the most famous of all Massachusetts politicians. You’ll take his inspiring challenge that he delivered at Rice Stadium over fifty years ago and transform it into motivation in your squad.

Strength of schedule and suspensions due to an academic investigation be damned! You chose to coach at Notre Dame. You chose this and you chose the goal to win it all, not because it is easy, but because it is hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of your players energies and skills, because that challenge is one that you are willing to accept, one you are unwilling to postpone, and one which you damn sure intend to win.

The cold sweat gave way to a swelling of pride and a grin crossed Kelly’s face. He would deliver a similar message to his team. He would remind them of why they chose to come to Notre Dame, why they chose to face of the toughest schedules in the nation on both the field and in the classroom.

Most importantly, he would remind them that it’s all possible. The moon once seemed like an unreachable goal at over 200,000 miles away, but that goal was conquered with such success that a return trip doesn’t even move the needle much these days.

There is no room for error to achieve such a goal. Space, much like a college football season, is unforgivable. Falter and you find yourself stuck in the vast nothingness of your defeat, struggling with everything you’ve got just to get back home.

In some ways, last season felt like his Apollo 13. Everett Golson was lost and he knew his season likely was too. But you fight to get back home and fought they did.

Now Golson has returned and even though this team has a new set of challenges to overcome, it can be done. It all starts in week one and this team from Houston will be the one with a problem.

Kelly took a deep breath and straightened his tie before walking out the door. He walked towards the podium, all eyes of his team on him. His stride and posture oozed confidence. When his eyes met his team’s, they all knew he meant business. Before his first words left his mouth, the same thought rushed through his head, over and over again.

This year, boys, we go to the moon.

The Roundup

Everything is awesome! Hope springs eternal for everyone at the beginning of college football season. Yes, everyone.

There is simply nothing like college football. Texas A&M and South Carolina fans had a showdown during midnight yell. I love this sport.

Hey, West Virginia, this isn’t something you admit to before you play Alabama. Their QB admitted to Saban’s daughter being his first kiss as a six year old. I hope you enjoyed your time on this planet.

Love him or hate him, the ‘Ol Ball Coach is a fascinating individual.

Charlie Weis in on yet another hot seat. Falling asleep in meetings probably isn’t helping.

In the midst of all the Josh Shaw hoopla, North Carolina had a well-timed news dump.

And now your moment of Nix… now with 100% more nightmare fuel

@TeamSpeedKills @JackPeglow Baby Saban – it had to be done! pic.twitter.com/zX8LJaRZuc

— GATA Dawgs (@BassinDawg) August 27, 2014

The Booze

I’m giving you two options here.

First, for the beer drinkers, if you can manage to find pretty much anything from the St. Arnold Brewing Company, a Houston native, you can’t go wrong.

If you want to go the hard liquor route, there is only one rice-themed drink that comes immediately to mind: Sake. Be honest, sake-bombing for every ND touchdown is something you never knew you had to do.

The post Friday Roundup: The “Brian Kelly Goes to the Moon” Edition appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

The Dallas Cowboys kicked off their OTAs this week and our best defender, middle linebacker, Sean Lee, when down with what will likely be a season ending ACL tear. So where’s the Notre Dame connection? First round draft pick, Zack Martin, was the one that fell on him to cause the injury.

#NDFBIsDeterminedToKillMe just took on yet another new meaning.

As if that wasn’t enough, the Texas Rangers currently have 13 people on the disabled list. Some of these players, like Profar simply slept wrong and that put them out for the season. Yes there has been more than one person on this team that had a poor night’s rest. You can’t make this up.

I’m hoping this is all just one large sacrifice to make the 2014 ND football season run smoothly. The only alternative explanation is that I am inexplicably cursed and should stop watching spots immediately.

The Roundup

When Swarbrick talks, you should listen. Savvy Jack sat down with The Observer to talk Georgia, turf, Under Armour, media, and much more.

Notre Dame trying to head to Georgia early? Reports state that ND is trying to swing a summer camp sponsored by Georgia State in 2015. It’s quite a little loop-hole that ND is trying to take advantage of and it’s weird (and refreshing) to see the Irish not falling behind new recruiting tactics.

The ACC teased big news and all we got was a new logo. Seriously.

The only thing missing is the watermark. Your business card can’t match up:

Patrick Bateman would faint if he saw this business card, which is made of some substantial metal. pic.twitter.com/27HmOJUKbK

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) May 28, 2014

FCS ADs are frantically calling Tuscaloosa. Alabama is ready to “play anybody” for a 2015 home game that they can’t fill now that everyone else is busy. There’s probably a huge payday coming for the school that bends their schedule to do so.

Hatin’ Ass Spurrier is becoming my favorite thing. This mix of insults combining the World Cup with college football is just gold.

And now your moment of Nix… Let’s let the YouTubes give you a ND Football smile:

[youtube id=”Fl7xImvsAsQ”]

The Booze

Vodka + Lemonade — kicking off summer right.

The post Friday Roundup: The “Zack Martin, You Broke My Heart” Edition appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Latest word I'm hearing is that Under Armour is now the leading candidate to get the Notre Dame contract after 2014.

— Paul Lukas (@UniWatch) December 16, 2013

CLICK CLACK! START PANICKING!

I’m not even sure what causes such hair pulling or, quite frankly, why there is even a preference among fans as to whether Adidas, Nike, or Under Armor is the one to put their logo on Notre Dame’s uniform.

After all, Notre Dame has been pretty consistent with their uniform practices as of late. Blue at home, white on the road, and all bets off for the Shamrock Series. It isn’t like this will somehow magically change unless Notre Dame is the one that wants it too.

And as I’ve said before, things like this are all gravy. It doesn’t really matter in the end. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Under Armour uniform concept, codename "Spatterdash," for the Notre Dame Shamrock Series. #NDFB #Spats #uniwatch pic.twitter.com/Uu3rMyXiWl

— Irish Tightness (@IrishTightness) December 20, 2013

The Roundup

I finally get to put my fiancée’s alma mater in a Roundup! Thank you, Barry Hinson, for losing your damn mind.

ITS GRUDEN! IT’S SABAN! Texas is bound and determine to screw up hiring one of, if not the best job in college football. Various outlets started throwing Gruden’s name out there, crazy Saban rumors won’t die, and for some reason Texas felt the need to hire a search committee to figure this all out. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Urban Meyer hates losing. I mean, he really hates losing. He also may just eat his feelings.

NO BOWL FOR YOU! Ever feel like sending a really threatening, “I’ll never donate or buy tickets again” letter to your AD? Well if you are a Washington State fan and did this, you probably just screwed yourself out of bowl tickets.

Yeah, NCAA this wasn’t a good idea. In a court document, the NCAA denied that they had the legal responsibility to protect student-athletes and that the onus is on the member institutions. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that statement might catch them quite a bit of grief.

BCS CHAMPIONSHIP MEGACAST! Crazy Idiocracy-like name aside, some of the options for watching the game sound pretty cool, especially the one that let’s you have a pure stadium audio feed and no play-by-play.

We’re #2! Forbes has released their list of most valuable college football teams. Notre Dame comes in well behind a certain school in Texas looking for a coach.

Diaco is introducing himself to America. Thankfully, he is doing so complete with werewolf and vampire references.

And now your moment of zen…

https://vine.co/v/htnhvV1ZZ0X

Put These Games on Your Radar #HLSBowlMania

In lieu of picking and listing out games, I encourage you to join #HLSBowlMania. I will also use this section to update the standings and maybe crack a joke or two at someone’s expense — possibly my own.

Remember, games start this Saturday, so make your picks if you haven’t!

(Note to self: make your picks, Tex).

The Booze

It’s been one hell of a rough year in terms of my day job. My last day for 2013 was yesterday and it’s time to start a well deserved vacation. With that in mind, there is only one beverage I reach for when it’s time to kick back and relax: bourbon. Sweet, glorious bourbon.

The post Friday Roundup: The “What’s in a Logo?” Edition appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

We’re really going to drive this angels & demons things in the ground, huh? (Via @CoachGrahamASU)

Let’s face it, when Notre Dame faces off against the Arizona State Sun Devils in their full hellfire attire, the Irish will be facing off against one of the best offenses that they will see in all of 2013.

As Bayou discussed yesterday, they have put on quite a show throughout most of their season. And I’m going to give the Sun Devils a load of credit here, they’ve looked pretty damn good doing it too for the most part.

And with Arizona State favored by 6 at the time of this writing, it’s safe to say that most people believe they are doing this with all the flair and skill of Van Halen.

[youtube id=”V1uz_aDo0YA”]

But you know what, if you decided to strip away ASU’s offense, their Eddie Van Halen, and…well…you are left with much different results:

[youtube id=”IArxakPsPE0″]

For Arizona State, their David Lee Roth is their defense. Against teams not named Sacramento State, they have done the following:

So that big ‘ol table is a fancy way of saying Arizona State’s defense is not very good, but then again, they face an Irish offense that has plenty of problems of their own.

Further, the Irish have to deal with the entire band and not just one piece of it. David Lee Roth was surrounded by crazy talent and the Sun Devils have loads of it in offense. The Irish defense will have to continue the progress that they made against Oklahoma for the Irish are to have any chance at running with these devils.

Or perhaps the new Hendrix experience that debuted at OU will be just the curveball the Irish need to create a dynamic running attack of their own, putting Turnover Tommy back to rest and allowing Reesus to rise again.

Either way, the Irish will need to put together their best complete game of the season or the next two weeks will definitely be a living hell.

The Roundup

If you will be in Dallas this weekend, allow me to give you your official guide of all the local ND events. Spoiler alert: you won’t be in Dallas at all.

So long, Kiffykins! We are sad to see you go, but at least MSPaint Like a Champion Today was able to give you a fantastic send off.

I feel like I’ve read this before. Transport yourself back to the Davie/Ty/Weis eras if you could be so bold, and substitute Notre Dame for USC in this article.

THANKS, OBAMA! Not that the government shutdown has screwed with college football, the proper outrage may now begin. Wait…what’s that? The games are back on now? THANKS, OBAMA!

Let the athletic director carousel begin! DeLoss Dodds has officially stepped down from Texas, making one of the most attractive AD jobs in the nation readily available. And that’s just the start of Texas’ three ring circus.

Of course this is announced after the entire thing is canned. EA Sports, who has been notorious for often making fans of the NCAA series of video games feel neglected in comparison to Madden, decided to unleash news of this crazy feature on the world now that NCAA ’15 will never happen.

The eye of Texas are upon you. But the refs eyes are apparently looking elsewhere.

The ‘Ol Ball Coach censors himself. He claims he was “too negative” on his own show and asked for it to be pulled, but that’s probably code for “too drunk”.

To be a jerk, or not to be a jerk. That is the question. Ole Miss football players were all to happy to answer enthusiastically.

Time for all the HaHa Clinton-Dix jokes. No reason for his suspension? Oh, wait, there is a reason.

And now, your moment of zen:

[youtube id=”DpHA733Y_cI”]

Put These Games on Your Radar

#25 Maryland @ #8 Florida State, 12:00pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – Yes, somehow Maryland is ranked. I’m not sure how, but hey, here’s a top 25 matchup that no one really expected in the early games.

Kansas State @ #21 Oklahoma State, 3:30pm ET, ABC/ESPN3 – Another weak slate for the afternoon games as well. This isn’t so much of a matchup featuring a top-25 team, but a matchup featuring two Big XII teams that are both collectively sputtering enough that this game may just be interesting.

TCU @ #11 Oklahoma, 7:00pm ET, FOX – TCU may not have much in the win column, but there defense still manages to do enough to keep it close. As we saw last week, ND stayed in a game they had no business being in and if Oklahoma keeps that up and TCU finally figures it out on offense, we could have an upset.

#4 Ohio State @ #16 Northwestern, ABC – Ohio State doesn’t have many rough spots on their schedule until Michigan save for Northwestern this week and last week against Wisconsin. The Wildcats have yet to face off against a true tough opponent yet, so this will be their first real test of the season.

#15 Washington @ #5 Stanford, 10:30pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN –It seems this season we’ve always had a solid night cap and this week is no different. I still put Stanford as a heavy favorite in this one, but I’m hoping the Huskies will make a solid run at it.

Rutgers @ #7 Louisville, Thursday, October 10, 7:30pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – Yep, I have a Thursday night game to keep an eye on before the next Roundup. Rutgers only loss game to a very solid Fresno State team and that game went to OT. This is likely one of Louisville’s only true tests in their weak schedule and I’m sure Rutgers will be looking for a little Thursday night upset special in this one.

Predictions

Twibby gave OU the largest margin of victory, so he gets the point. Your standings:

NDtex

Despite the jokes above, I don’t think Notre Dame will be able to keep up with ASU’s offense. I fear that we will be playing from behind most of the game and ASU’s weak rushing defense won’t even be a factor. My prediction is ASU 41 – ND 31.

HOWEVER, I don’t want to be a complete downer. My prediction will be wrong if the defense continues to improve and stymie the Sun Devil’s offense. If they can manage that and Tommy can limit his mistakes, this could be a completely different ball game.

Here’s hoping I’m wrong.

Biscuit

Via:

Despite a relatively tough schedule compared to those teams scheduling High School squads, I have ND running 5-0 into the home-game-that’s-not-at-home barnstormer at neutral site. Finally, ND has won the uniform battle. But unfortunately, I have to find a hiccup, unexpected loss in the season and I think this is it. ND will be coming off a high with a big, emotional win over OK at home. That game will be a battle, and we could come out a bit dinged up. And every team, at some point, gets caught flat. While ASU doesn’t have the most talent we’ll see, they have a pretty darn good coach and a legit QB in Taylor, and it’ll be a unique opponent for Notre Dame.

ND Drops one to go to 5-1, 24-21.

 Just the 1. Obviously calling this out of nowhere.

Bayou Irish

ND 38, ASU 27

I just have no idea. If I could make a “less than a leprechaun” .gif, I would. ASU’s hot right now and I question our ability to cool them off. That said, if our D gets off like they’ve been supposed to, the Sun Devils will have a tough time of it. They gave up 40+ to Stanford, and Stanford’s O is not electric. If we put in a run performance like we did last week and, say, maybe don’t give up a pick six on the second passing play, I think we have a great shot at a good win. My prediction is based on that, but like I said, I don’t know who’s getting off the plane. If it’s our passing O from last week and our run game from MSU and our D from Michigan, we could easily give up sixty. Regardless, you should have plenty of liquor on hand to watch on Saturday evening.

Twibby

The Irish will bounce back in Jerry World.

ND 34, ASU 20

Irish Elvis

1st Quarter: Start Fast
Offense has been sluggish, while defense has yielded points early. Unfortunately, this trend continues as ASU jumps out to a 14-3 lead early.

2nd Quarter: Attention to Detail
The uniform manufacturers play up the “Angels & Demons” dichotomy this week.

3rd Quarter: Effort & Enthusiasm
The run game will continue to improve, and we’ll see some more 2-QB rotation with Hendrix getting meaningful snaps.

4th Quarter: Finish Strong
34-24 ASU victory. The Irish start 0-for-October and sink to .500 which makes for a loooong bye week.

The Beer

The game is in Texas, that’s means all the Texas beer suggestions. My picks for your various moods:

Dirt cheap, Texas Style: Lone Star

Because you’re in Texas and you should at least have one: Shiner Bock

A local craft not yet featured in previous Roundups: Revolver Blood & Honey

The post Friday Roundup: The “Running with the Devils” Edition appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

In case you missed it, on Wednesday Jay Bilas partook in one of his favorite pastimes: dropping bombs on the NCAA’s head. He discovered that you could enter names of athletes the search feature of the NCAA’s store and actually find the “generic” numbered jersey that just so happens to match said athlete like say, Johnny Manzel, who is currently under investigation for taking payment for signing memorabilia:

Go to http://t.co/qpH4tNnIpH, type in "Manziel" in upper right search box, hit enter. This comes up. pic.twitter.com/N7KNvXIu24

— Jay Bilas (@JayBilas) August 6, 2013

But surely someone like Everett Golson who was dismissed from ND wouldn’t be included, right?

Even suspended, http://t.co/qpH4tNnIpH will sell your stuff. Notre Dame's Everett Golson is still for sale. pic.twitter.com/gY6vRDJCK1

— Jay Bilas (@JayBilas) August 6, 2013

Ok, well that might be excusable due to laziness, I mean the NCAA would never sell anything from people they heavily punished, right?

NCAA Shop site selling Joe Paterno 400-Win gear: http://t.co/fG5cmer80a The "culture of football" ain't so bad when you profit off it, huh?

— Jay Bilas (@JayBilas) August 8, 2013

Needless to say, this created quite a firestorm on Twitter, leading the NCAA to shut down the search feature of their website…or so they thought:

http://t.co/qpH4tNnIpH can still be searched by typing "/search/braxtonmiller" in the URL. This comes up. Have fun. pic.twitter.com/8Zp4Iza6jt

— Jay Bilas (@JayBilas) August 6, 2013

This lead to NCAA President, Mark Emmert, declaring that the NCAA store would no longer sell memorabilia and admitting the practice was probably a bit hypocritical of them.

While there is a whole separate debate to be had about jersey sales and whether member institutions should be allowed to continue to do so when the NCAA isn’t, the kicker for me was this:

Emmert says his understanding is NCAA made no money off that online store. Was an aggregator site.

— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) August 8, 2013

So, clearly the NCAA must not understand how the internet works. That’s like me saying if you click one of our Amazon links, HLS would never see a penny.

Beyond that, they thought removing a search box would remove search functions. Every search function on the internet, Google included, has a specific URL that goes in your browser address bar to make it work. Even if they somehow didn’t know that, during the Twitter shitstorm, people, like myself, were making fun of the NCAA by tweeting out these exact URLs so it’s all out in the open for everyone to see.

Removing that box was equivalent to being an ostrich and sticking their head into the sand.

I don’t expect the NCAA to be full of internet experts. Hell, I’m knowledgeable about it and still have issues that have been quite publicly displayed when HLS went boom multiple times. But the fact that they could overlook something this basic, do something so stupid to “fix” it, and then claim “well, gee, I don’t think we made any money anyways” is just laughable. They are either just that dumb or believe everyone is beyond stupid to not see through it.

Having this blow up in their faces after suspending players for selling their own memorabilia (Ohio State) and investigating someone for profiting of his signature (Manziel) makes the entire NCAA look like nothing more than a bunch of idiots throwing rocks in their own glass house.

/waits for karma to crash HLS

The Roundup

Speaking of internet things, here’s an update on HLS. Last week I moved us to a different host to try and stop the constant crashing of HLS. During the move, they did a review of the entire site and had no complaints. Hopefully this means that the last issues we saw before the move were the fault of the old host and not something I’ve done. After the move, I also saw we had quite the spam problem. I deleted over 3,000 spam accounts and installed some additional safeguards to prevent this from becoming an issue again. Hopefully, no legitimate accounts got nuked during this, but if it did and you can’t register again for some reason, please let us know.

Because the Johnny Football saga wouldn’t be over until the damn lawyers got involved. So Manziel hired the same attorney that represented Cam Newton and he made sure to proclaim that Johnny would without a doubt be playing when the season starts. You should really check out the attorney’s web site too. I mean, I’m a proud Texan and all, but cowboy hats, seriously?!

Two of the things I hate most in the sports world combined. New York Yankees’ Manager, Joe Girardi, spoke to Alabama. Roll vomit.

No shirt, no shoes, let’s coach practice. Never change, Steve Spurrier.

The OU game just got even more interesting. Their already thin defense just took another hit.

Finally, make sure to stop by the Subway Domer. They have a pretty badass printable ND schedule available.

The Beer

Believe it or not, summer is quickly coming to a close. I would be greatly disappointed in myself if I don’t recommend one of my favorite summer seasonsals before the season starts up: Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy.

Yes, it’s not exactly a “craft” selection, but it’s so damn tasty. I make no apologies.

The post Friday Roundup: The “Failing to Understand the Internet” Edition appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.