Elite prospect Everson Griffen recentely committed to USC (see note in Q's summary below). However, the big news in this story was not the commitment, but Everson's mom's description of the USC campus. “People were telling us it’s a ghetto area, but it’s not at all like a ghetto. They were telling me as soon as you walk out the gate, it’s ghetto. It’s a lovely campus and I loved it." Okay, ummm, Mrs. Griffen? I'm sure you're a lovely lady and I wish your son the best of luck with ...
Our Rival
When Bruins Fans Attack
We may have to start a new award for "most disgusting injury to a college football fan" after this one. "I see my husband come around the front of the car, covered in blood and just adrenaline-pumped, and screaming and saying, 'They hit me with a bottle, they hit me with a bottle,'" she said. "The glass that hit his eye went through every layer of eye, severing it all, all the way to the jelly." Guess I don't have to worry about my caloric intake for the day. Most of it's sitting in the ...
Southern Cal Releases “Inspirational Video” for Notre Dame Week
[youtube]NwlYx10gYP4[/youtube] ...
HLS Special Report: It Wasn’t The Grass, Jagg-offs.
It was the tiny green men. In an exclusive investigation by Her Loyal Sons, we've discovered that the cause of USC Uber Star Desmond Reed's injury, sustained in the 2005 Notre Dame/Southern Cal game, was not, in fact, caused by the length off the grass in Notre Dame Stadium, but by little green men who had been miniaturized by Charlie Weis' special robot minitiaurizer beam gun attachment. The nefarious Charlie Weis miniaturized dozens of former Notre Dame leprechauns who were equipped with ...
The Song Girls Are Ugly
BEAT SC! ...
Poodle Pete: I’m As Stupid As I Look.
Poodle Pete, fresh from his grooming. Reportedly, Pete Carroll has said of the upcoming Notre Dame/Southern Cal game: [USC] have been growing the Coliseum grass very long for ND's practice Friday afternoon, then plan to cut it short for Saturday. Additionally, he indicated that Desmond Reed would be captain for the game given his injury on the long grass at ND last year. Lastly, when asked if he had anything special planned for the Irish, he said "no, nothing unusual." Now, either Pete is ...
O.J. Simpson’s Book/TV Deal Canceled
Even Rupert Murdoch knew it was a bad idea to give O.J. Simpson a book/television deal around a concept titled "If I Did It." (Subtitle: He did it! He did it!) We've done a little research to see if we could help explain to Notre Dame fans what this all means and help them relate a bit, but we can't find any examples of former Notre Dame Heisman winners who've brutally murdered two people and then got off scott-free. Nope. Not once. Isn't that weird? Anyway, now we wont get a chance to ...
ESPN College Gameday To Attend Notre Dame/Southern Cal Game.
ESPN has announced that the College Gameday crew will be in LA for the Notre Dame/Southern Cal "Game To See Who Gets Screwed More." Already, Domers and Trojans are at work, creating some of those typical Gameday signs that you always see in the background of Gameday telecasts. Some Posters of Note: "If You Can Read This Sign, You Aren't Lee Corso." "This Isn't A Sign, This Is A Poo Shield." "Hey Corso, You Can't Read This Sign Either." "We're Standing Behind These 3 Idiots, And ...
USC Loses. Media Already on 2nd Step!
You might want to sit down. USC lost this weekend. I know. We didn't expect it either. At least not like this. The media? They'll be ok. We got a therapist working with them, and she says they're progressing nicely thru the stages of mourning. Just looke what little Stewie wrote during his denial phase: And yet, right when it seemed USC was headed for an all-out meltdown, falling behind 33-10 with 4:51 left in the third quarter, John David Booty, Steve Smith and Co. went out and ...
Leinart is a Father (Resisting Headline Including “Bush Push”)
Congratulations, Matt. With this super-spawn of a child made up of genetic goo between yourself and your college girlfriend, twenty-some years from now you'll sit proudly in the audience as your son, your son, your executioner brings down the house with his "sexy, but refreshingly light" tango in Dancing With the Stars. The happy couple, seen here together. Well, ok, not together. In fact, we can't find any pics of them actually together. ...