We all know preseason polls are meaningless, and until we have time to finish parsing every word of Brian Kelly’s opening press conference (check back here later!), we’ll just have to keep ranking more obscure things until football season kicks off. Each year, there are things that hold Notre Dame fans’ fancy, and we’re here to rank the most popular.

21-25

25: Parker Boudreaux announces his commitment to Notre Dame by pulling a school bus.

24: Texas’ mascot, Bevo, doesn’t get an invite to Notre Dame Stadium, and tweets about it using his hooves.

Notre Dame has a no live mascot policy at their stadium – so I won't be making the trip, but I'll be there in spirit. #BeatND #HookEm

— BEVO XV (@TexasMascot) July 29, 2015

23: Former ND cornerback, Todd Lyght, returns to coach the position he once played. He also won a national championship and a Super Bowl, which gives us another excuse to post this photo of an obliterated SC receiver.

22: Due to Florida State player suspensions in the offseason, Everett Golson is now slated to start at quarterback, running back, and strong safety.

21: Boston College plays a road game against Notre Dame at Fenway Park.

16-20

20: Brian Kelly tweets out a photo of Notre Dame’s National Championship rings.

My staff unanimously decided to add a game to the players' lounge this year.

It's called Irish Jenga. pic.twitter.com/ctv5h3ZLT2

— Brian Kelly (@CoachBrianKelly) July 30, 2015

19: Greg Bryant’s biceps. (See you in 2016!)

18: The charred remains of Lou Holtz’s Orlando home.

17: Educating other fanbases on Notre Dame’s independence and/or why joining a conference is a stupid idea.

16: One segment of the fanbase arguing Kelly should be fired for mediocrity while another segment is terrified that an NFL team will snatch him away due to his talent.

11-15

15: Overly pessimistic about any/every thing: a high school recruit’s verbal decommitment, a red zone turnover, or a failed third down playcall. “Bleach, lime, and soda…and drink!” is every square on the Jump To Conclusions Mat.

14: Having strong opinions on the Navy series.

13: Any conversation of Notre Dame’s irrelevance conveniently forgetting that 2012 happened.

12: The prospect of Luatua as H-back (fullback?!?!) on the goal line.

11: Hating the most recent Shamrock Series or jersey unveiling.

6-10

10: Trying to figure out what Jack Swarbrick will do next.

9: Running Backs Coach Autry Denson coaching the position for which he holds the all-time record.

8: Complaining in general about any announcement/update/news

7: Dabo Swinney proclaiming “ND’s gotta join a conference!” when he a) plays us and b) opens with Wofford & Appalachian State.

6: Checking to see whether or not Michigan has scored.

1-5

5: Father Hesburgh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4: Brian Van Gorder’s mustache.

3:  Brian Kelly’s blazer game

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2: Brian Kelly’s nipples peak (peek?) in the second spot. (Note: do *not* run a Google image search for “Brian Kelly nipples”)

1: Brian Kelly’s spring goatee.