I came home from work on Tuesday and found a random trash bag on my porch. I had multiple thoughts run through my head upon seeing this (in no particular order):
- Did I have the biggest brain-far ever while taking out the trash this morning?
- This is the strangest shipping method ever for one of our wedding gifts.
- What asshole left his garbage by my door?
- I’m probably going to die of anthrax when I touch this.
So I go up to the bag, fully prepared to curse under my breath when I discover it’s some kind of festering garbage, but then I look down and see clothing. Not only is it clothing, but it’s Notre Dame clothing. There is no note, no markings on the bag, nothing, save for this:
The ND gear left at my door, trash bag included. Not pictured, a gold ND beanie I found later in the jacket pocket.
Now the following thoughts run through my head:
- Who the hell gave us Michigan colors?
- Wait..STARTER made a ND Jacket?
- That hat is actually pretty sweet.
- There isn’t lice in this thing is there?
- Well, I’m not dying, so I guess those anthrax fears were unfounded.
- Why include gloves?
- It took four years of flying a ND flag outside my house for something weird to happen and it didn’t involve something terrible.
- Should I donate this stuff?
- Should I just wash this stuff and use?
- Seriously, that’s a damn Starter jacket.
- Is someone worried that I get cold a lot?
- Did some random ND fan in DFW wake up in a dark alley and wonder what happened to him last night?
- The 2005 Shirt committee thinks that yellow looks gold.
- I gotta tweet this.
I’m still rather dumbfounded by the whole experience. I now have a jacket, hat, beanie, and gloves in my possession and I still have no earthly idea how this came to be or what I’m going to do with it.
Thank you, random person with trash bags of ND gear in Texas.
The Roundup
My fiancée already thinks Twitter is stupid and you bastards aren’t helping. Are y’all seriously that mad that I won the regular season #HLSRecap? Correct the injustice that is currently going on and vote for me and, more importantly, my fiancée who is now finally 100% on board with something Twitter related.
The way to overcome pain is laughter. I’m still not sure how the 2007 season isn’t the #1 seed in this bracket of misery.
Remember that team that sent ND packing in the ACC tourney? Their students are celebrating…because their coach is now fired.
Gotta love when Greggggggg Greggggggggs. Yeah, we’re doing all the Twitter links in this Roundup and hacks proving they are hacks definitely belongs.
And now, to bring it back to football. Notre Dame had their Pro Day yesterday. You can find a full breakdown here and a quick chart of all the measurables here.
And now your moment of Nix… And finally not featuring Nix himself this week. People were sharing their first ever tweets and things got a little strange:
Well this is awkward… #FirstTweet: https://t.co/xakhsYwNCA. What was yours? https://t.co/vClD6noxlk
— The American (@American_Conf) March 20, 2014
The Booze
I’m heading to New Orleans for a wedding. Someone pass me a Hurricane.
Texan by birth, Irish by choice.
First-generation Domer and a former student manager, HLS podcast host, HLS Sim creator, Extra Life streamer, and technical problem haver. You can find more non-Notre Dame related writing on his Patreon.
- Epilogue - January 3, 2022
- HLS Podcast Finale - January 2, 2022
- The Final Fiesta: Notre Dame vs Oklahoma State NCAA ’14 Sim - December 31, 2021
My wife had an ND starter jacket when she was going through her awkward middle school years. I’m gonna find said pic and tweet it at ya. Hopefully, she doesn’t find out.