The Nominees for the 1st Ever Donna Shalala Lying Bitch of the Week Award:
- Kenny “Stink Palm” Rogers
- Shawn “What’s In My Insant Breakfast?” Merriman
- The West Virginia Football Team’s Status In The BCS
- The Cardinals as “World Series Champions.”
Thanks to those who wrote in a nomination. After careful consideration by the judges, we’ve decided to award the First Ever Donna Shalala Lying Bitch of the Week Award to…
Kenny Rogers!
Kenny Rogers, a child of a strawberry farm in Florida, may be best known for being the worst post-season pitcher of all time BEFORE smudge-gate. And then, oddly, he became perhaps the most dominating picther in post-season history just before the world said, “Hey! What the hell is that? Dude, he should wipe a little more carfully.”
Thankfully, the smudge wasn’t that sort of smudge. Nah. It was just a bit of dirt on the palm of a man who is paid millions every year to worry about pretty much nothing other than his hands. Yeah. that’s it. Just a bit of dirt.
Congratulations, Kenny! Before today you were only an asshole. Now you’re a lying asshole with a fancy award!
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