The Daywalker, has seen many things over the millenia. And he's known among many cultures. In Eastern Europe, he was known as "Drago." In South America, "The Great Bat." And in the United States, he's gone by the name "Joe Paterno" since well before Thomas Jefferson began making bold claims about man and their equality. Today, Joe Paterno rules over a valley in Pennsylvania with an iron fist. But he's a crafty one, and of late he's been making sure that everyone start to wonder if maybe ...
HLS Top 25 - 2007/08
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #18 – Tennessee
Ok. Let's try this again. I just tried to write this all up once, and my computer went all Ed Orgeron on me and I couldn't save the text before it was too late... When I think of Tennessee, I think of the 2005 Notre Dame/Tennessee game when Tennessee was thoroughly beaten and it seemed quite clear the beating was mostly at the hands of the ND coaching staff more so than at the hands of superior talent on ND's side of the ball. That sort of performance, coupled with the fact that Tennessee ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #20 – Oregon State
The first thing I thought when I realized that the HLSTNHT25-PE had The University of Oregon With Fewer Uniforms Than The Other One ranked number 20 is that we, the Loyal Sons, are still wincing from the painful memories of 2 spankings applied to the rear of the Notre Dame football program by the Beavers. The first, of course, came in the form of the 2000 Fiesta Bowl. I attended that bowl. It was easy to do so b/c it seemed like almost no other ND fan did. It was pretty much just me, the ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #21 – TCU
Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then look up at the stars tonight and try to convince yourself that everything up there is bigger than everything down here. Even this… It seems weird to be putting a MWC team in here. Seems even weirder to put a team that's been in 4 different conferences in 10 years in here. Despite that inconsistency, the Horned Frogs are a very consistent team in terms of quality. At least recently. They've managed a seemingly ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #22 – Boston Freaking College
Editor's Note: I. AM. A. FREAKING. MORON. But none of you actually read this site on Sundays anyway, so you didn't see my previous gaff on the ranking numbers. Suckers! Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then toast those who were wise enough to procreate and spawn the creators of this… Yeah. I know. I know! First we kick you in the gnads by ranking our and your beloved Irish at #23, and then while you're laying there, stunned, we give you atomic ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #23 – The University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish
I so don't want to write this. This is actually my 4th 5th 6th attempt. The first one started off with how shocked I was to awaken and realize that we ranked Notre Dame so low. On Sunday morning. It's damn near Wednesday Thursday, and I'm still struggling with it. See, when we did the poll, we made sure to try and remove our homer hats for a day and use our thinking caps instead. And this is what it got us. Her "Loyal" Sons turns it's back on Our Mother and barely even ranks their beloved ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #24 – Texas A&M
Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then praise the Lord for the gift of the wondrous analysis below… You all may remember last year's Texas A&M team because they managed to make Army look scary. They managed to win that game, but only because Army played stupidly in the 4th quarter. Still, the team was much improved, by the numbers over the previous few years. For one thing, the "Wrecking Crew" earned the right to even hear that term again by allowing ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: #25 – Arkansas
Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then read in awe and call out to your loved one the glorious analysis below… Sure, their fan-base is litigious and insane (not to mention the coach's wife), and their head coach seemed hell bent on running a flag-football style offense, making up plays in the dirt as they went along, but they did have a season in which they clinched the SEC West title, and no matter how stupid/weird their coach might get, they've got 2 ...
HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 – Preseason Edition: Also Receiving Votes…
Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then commence gobbling up every word of our masterful analysis below... In 8th grade, I learned a difficult lesson: Not everyone wins. In my case, I learned that not everyone wins a participation trophy in pee wee football. Nope. Sometimes you have to be the one kid out of 34 who didn't get called up by the coach during the bbq banquet, handed a trophy, and plied with nice words like, "always hustled," or "best form ...
The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 College Football Poll – Preseason Edition
We're extraordinarily delighted to present our newest irregularly-regular feature to the masses: The Her Loyal Sons Totally Non-Homer Top 25 College Football Poll. We decided that our readers crave a little more consistency than what we usually serve up. Sure, we consistently knock it out of the park with witty analysis and thoughtful commentary, but what the reader wants, the reader gets! And the reader clearly wanted another Top 25 Poll! How this will/should work: Over the course ...