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South Bend Tribune Photo/ROBERT FRANKLIN

Notre Dame defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder yells from the sideline during the Notre Dame Blue-Gold Spring football game on Saturday, April 16, 2016, at Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend. South Bend Tribune Photo/ROBERT FRANKLIN

Predictions: Growing Our Wolf Pack

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Hello, how ’bout that ride in from week one–THAT WE WILL TRY TO FORGET AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

So, yeah, last week was UGLY. There’s really no sugar-coating it, so we are just going to move the hell on. The form for this week is below and you can find all rules within. Bonus points, standings, staff picks, and cat picks will all follow.

Bonus Points

Legend has it the great Davy Crockett once said, “You can go to hell, I’m going to Texas.” Little know fact though is that that is only half the quote. The full quote was, “You can go to hell, I’m going to Texas with these drunk Irish lads and we are going to kick some ass.”

Yes, shortly thereafter Mr. Crockett had his arse handed to him my the Mexican Army, but lucky for the Irish this weekend there is no Mexican Army, just a longhorn. And dang it, longhorn is good eating.

So go Irish. Do it for Davy. Beat Longhorns. – Davie Dave

Legend also has it that Texas was indeed hell for all of us Sunday night. Point awarded for the solid Davy Crockett quote.

Notre Dame will Run the Damn Ball – IrishMann313

We did. A lot. We still lost. Dammit. Point awarded because, well…you weren’t wrong.

Pain – Otter2008

Point for brutal accuracy, Mr. T.

The purple faced Brian Kelly returns – Irish Randall’s

To be fair, he needed to return when ONE OF HIS PLAYERS GOT DECAPITATED WITH NO F’N FLAG. POINT FOR BEING SO MAD ONLINE.

Hall of Shame

Google has this thing called time stamps. Some people think they can sneak in a “prediction” after the fact and have it fly. These are those people. I had very little mercy.

Brendan Irish Boy – You came in so late, yet got everything so wrong. I actually feel bad for you because I think you watched this on DVR at some point and were very, very shocked. I’m going to give you 1 point for everything you got right (Kizer starting) and -1 point for everything you got wrong. Total: -3 points.

Mjl – I’m assuming you smacked your head on your keyboard for joining dumb fun and games so late. Congrats, you got everything right and scored quite well! Bad news! Your defense is run by BVG and you gave up 50 points. Total: -44 points.

Your moms cat – Not only are you going to get the BVG “bonus” like above, but I’m also awarding -1 point for everything you got wrong (Zaire starting) and for every typo you had. My mom may not have a cat, but if she did, it would be my mom’s cat and I’m not sure how there can be a “2 it game” in football (-2 total from the grammar police). Total: -48 points.

Look, I lash out not because I love but because I’m still pissed we lost. I’m sure you understand. If not, enter this week under a different name and I’ll be none the wiser!

Standings

HLS Picks

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Cat Picks

Gulliver is off to a solid 0-1 start both straight up and against the spread. Let’s see if the furball gets it wrong again this week:

Yeah, he better be 0-2 or this is going to be one hell of a long season.

Ryan Ritter
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About Ryan Ritter

Editor-in-Chief
Texan by birth, Irish by choice.

First-generation Domer and a former student manager, HLS podcast host, HLS Sim creator, Extra Life streamer, and technical problem haver. You can find more non-Notre Dame related writing on his Patreon.