In the days after the Fiesta Bowl and the days before National Signing Day, it seems the perfect time to what-if a bit and reflect about how the Irish might have fared against ‘bama or Clemson. THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN CRUSHED. I mean, honestly. Do you really think we could have competed for more than two series against either team without Jerry Tillery and limited snaps from Sheldon Day and Jarron Jones? We’d have as much chance as Charlie Sheen has of making a good decision.
It’s way easier to compare us to Clemson, a team we played once before. Of course, comparing us to the Clemson team of Monday night is a lot like comparing Jennifer Lawrence to Lawrence Taylor. Both are talented, but one is far better at scoring some coke for Charlie Sheen. The other is a former Giant. Deshaun Watson fired two phenomenal strikes for touchdowns in the game’s first half, both to the least recruited wide receiver since Louis Nix. DeShone Kizer went all deer-in-the-headlights against OSU. Advantage, Clemson.
Watson’s coming back next season, too, unlike Charlie Sheen at the start of Two and a Half Men‘s ninth season. He’s going to be incredibly fun to watch.
Against Alabama, there’s no real way to say what would have happened. Can you imagine Derrick Henry running against an Irish line that didn’t include Jerry Tillery or a full strength Sheldon Day and only gave you limited Jarron Jones minutes? It would have gotten ugly. Not Patton Oswalt ugly, but if that fifty yard touchdown was any indication, Henry would have scored more than Charlie Sheen. Or Jennifer Lawrence. Or Lawrence Taylor.
The fact of the matter is that, for the second year in a row, Notre Dame saw its hopes dashed by the injury bug. You don’t usually see bugs lasting more than two years unless you’re looking at Charlie Sheen, so the fact that the Irish even made a major bowl was impressive. Last season, they simply lacked the depth to deal with injuries. This year, the depth was there, but you just can’t lose your starting nose guard and quarterback and running back and safety and offensive guard and still be ranked in the top ten.
I mean, you can, but you can’t make, or survive, the playoffs. Not with our schedule. Not without Jaylon Smith. If you’re upset with our performance against the Ohio State, you’re an idiot. By the end of the first quarter, we had fewer subs that the Swiss navy. Even though the Buckeyes were quickly without Joey Bosanova, we were in deep ish without Jaylon. And Jerry Tillery. And Max Redfield.
It’s a shame, really. Team 127 was one for the ages. At full strength, they would have been playing, and maybe even winning, last night. As it was, like you, they watched it on t.v.
Take it easy, that’s where the similarities end, Charlie.
Hating Hurricanes Since 1990.
Bayou Irish is a Jersey boy and Double Domer who fell under New Orleans' spell in 1995. He's been through Katrina and fourteen years in the Coast Guard, so we cut him some slack, mostly in the form of HLS-subsidized sazeracs. But, when he's not face down on the bar and communing with the ghosts of Faulkner and Capote at the Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone, he's our man in SEC-land, doing his best to convince everyone around him that Graduation Success Rate is a better indicator of success than the number of MNC's won in the last five years.
- Finding Flaws in a Diamond: Clemson’s Rushing Offense - December 17, 2018
- Why Nobody Will Cotton to Notre Dame - December 3, 2018
- Irish Finish Regular Season Perfect 12-0 - November 26, 2018
Wherefrom this Charlie Sheen fixation?
The Golden Dome was becoming a bit dull, so the CSCs decided we needed to put a brighter Sheen on the football program…someone who’s interested in hashtag winning.
Hi Terry and thanks for reading and commenting. I am genuinely fascinated by him and have been since Platoon. His career sine wave is remarkable.
BI & IE – thanks for responding. Do you remember back a few years when his dad got an award of some sort from ND?
Good movie – The Way, stars his dad and brother.