Well, Purdue, it’s been fun. We seem to be making a habit of ending rivalry games this season, but hey, we’ll see each other again in 2020 unless Delany decides to go Darth Vader, alter the deal further, and make you play twelve conference games.
Actually, I’m sorry I said that. I’m giving him ideas…
Anyways, I know this rivalry has been rather one-sided recently. Games have ranged from “well, yeah we won, it’s Purdue” to “that was far too close for playing Purdue” to “HOW IN THE BLUE HELL DID WE LOSE TO PURDUE?!” and “Ty lost to Purdue twice, fire his ass.”
I know we’ve pretty much kicked you in the balls with the Purduzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz joke ever since HLS has been in existence. I promise that we tried to be more creative.
Take this Roundup for instance. I thought about re-writing the lyrics for “Runaway Train” as a farewell ode, but that got really depressing really fast. I could’ve dug into Train’s catalog, but I’d rather not have my ears bleed. I thought about making a “Crazy Train” joke, but that’s a ND joke now and you can’t have it.
I thought about some kind of Thomas the Train Engine story. That failed rather miserably. My memories of the show are more or less like good Purdue teams: long gone.
I could make fun of your drum really not being that big. I feel like that’s a step too far though because I got to leave something for you to hold on to. Plus, I’d have to bring up Texas and I can’t stand the Longhorns.
So, yeah…I’m left with the good ‘ol Purduzzzzzzzzzzzzz standby and realizing that the most exciting part of the game will probably be Notre Dame’s alternate uniforms. I’m really sorry about that. I promise I tried.
Chin up, though, Purdue, I’m sure there are people that can get really excited about you:
See you tomorrow, old friend. Apologies in advance for using you as a launching pad for the Everett Golson Heisman campaign*.
*Full disclosure: I’m not sorry about this. At all.
The Roundup
Hatin’ Ass Spurrier has some words for Michigan and they are beautiful (as are all the other words).
No one cares about Boston College football. Including sideline security.
I move for more profiles of awesome mascots. Although I think it only goes downhill after Puddles.
Are trademarks a requirement for Texas A&M QBs? Johnny Football™’s successor is following in his footsteps.
And now, your moment of Nix… This was only missing “pucker, pucker, pucker!”
The Booze
I mean, a Boilermaker is the obvious choice here, right? Doubly so because the game is in the capital of Indiana which is the state that houses our good friends at the Indiana Whiskey Company. You know, that thing I’m going to claim this Saturday we give away to the #HLSRecap MVP.
And if you want to step it up with your beer, might I suggest the Indiana local brewery Three Floyds.
Sadly, I’m stuck in Texas, so I will not be able to enjoy these things until I win a bottle of whiskey in the #HLSRecap this weekend. Please, enjoy them for me.
- Epilogue - January 3, 2022
- HLS Podcast Finale - January 2, 2022
- The Final Fiesta: Notre Dame vs Oklahoma State NCAA ’14 Sim - December 31, 2021
KyNDfan
How do you think BK will game plan around zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….
WhiskyPoet
I don’t know how you found that train video but OH MY GOD THAT WAS PRICELESS
Ryan Ritter
That video was thanks to my buddy @NDEddieMac
trey
I’m going up tomorrow morning(9 am flight, tex, sure you don’t want to tag along?) and one of the Indy residents at OFD also mentioned 3 Floyd’s. I think I’ll give Er a go
Ryan Ritter
A friend and I took a detour on a whim before the 2008 Michigan game. Was my first experience and was the best idea ever.
trey
Holy crap, is that train guy for real? He couldnt REALLY be right? I mean…”LISTEN TO THAT BELL! WOOOOOO!!!! LISTEN TO THAT HORN, IT GIVES ME CHILLS!!! WOOOO”
JD
Three Floyd’s is an excellent suggestion.
SupermanTDJesus
A phrase Purdue’s players will utter when their defense takes the field against Golson on Saturday: “The chills have absolutely nothing to do with how cold it is here. UUUGH OOOH!!”
Corby's Pitcher
Three Floyd’s is always the right answer. But I’m deeply saddened that you dangled the carrot of reworked Soul Asylum and then ripped it coldly away.
Ryan Ritter
Trust me, you didn’t want what I had come up with. It was terrible and very depressing and made it seem like we were lost lovers with Purdue and NOPE.