Friday Roundup: The "Who Gives a Hoot?" Edition

Let’s be perfectly honest here, Temple sucks. Picking on them falls somewhere between grabbing the low hanging fruit or simply being plain mean. Bayou tried to find something positive about the Owls in his preview, but he simply couldn’t find much.

And it isn’t like this current incarnation of Temple football is any better than Temple’s overall history. This is a program with a 430-555-3 (.440) all time record that has led them to only 4 total bowl games and 8 total weeks appearing in the AP Poll.

Yes, football is not exactly Temple’s strong suit. In fact, I’d dare say if this game wasn’t the end to an awful offseason that we are all excited to see go away as Irish fans, I would wager a game against Temple wouldn’t really get many people excited at all.

When I think of Temple, the first thing that comes to my mind is not football, but Temple alumnus, Bill Cosby.

Yes, Bill, I’m not sure why Temple signed up for this either.

I’m a fan of Bill, and while the jello pudding jokes are fun, I will instead let Mr. Cosby give you the most thrilling description of Temple football that you can find anywhere on the internet:

And here he is breaking down the stirring pep talk he gave the Owls in preparation for this weekend’s game:

Yes, Temple, know your assignment: to face off against Notre Dame and be completely destroyed.

Welcome to South Bend, Owls.

The Roundup

Last chance for Fulmer Cup points — you’re doing it wrong. Three football players from Division III’s own William Paterson University technically broke into a convenience store, but after seeing no one was there, they paid for what they took and even included sales tax. I am however, waiting for the NCAA to crack down on them for the gift cards that the video mentions they received for their honesty.

Because I know you didn’t want to be productive at work today…enjoy this site if you haven’t already. Watch the hours fly by.

Done with that site? Ok, let’s eat up more of your day. Read the first chapter of Bill Connelly’s book. For future time wasting, I highly suggest purchasing a copy.

Nick Saban is not human. Regular people just do not act like this.

Want to watch a Hawaii QB deck a Trojan? Of course you do.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Tommy Rees Edition.

Now we start with the signs that football has arrived. First, MS Paint Like a Champion has come out of hibernation. I suggest giving their Twitter feed a follow too because there is some additional genius to be found there.

You can’t start a season without Spencer Hall penning an amazing piece. As usual, he knocks it out of the park.

No ND season can start without an Anti-Preview. If you aren’t familiar with what I’m talking about, this would be The Subway Domer previewing a Notre Dame game as only he can.

Finally, your ND Football Primer.

Put These Games on Your Radar

We have games on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Plan appropriately.

Friday, August 30th

Texas Tech @ SMU, 8:00pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – Not a whole lot to pick from Friday’s slate that excites me. This is the best of the bunch.

Saturday, August 31st

Purdue at Cincinnati, 12:00pm ET, ESPNU/WatchESPN – Scout out a future opponent during the early games. The rest are almost guaranteed to be one-sided.

Toledo at #10 Floridia, 12:21pm ET, ESPN3 – Sleeper pick for an upset. Remember, last season Florida nearly fell apart in their opener against an inferior team and they haven’t exactly gotten much better this year.

#1 Alabama vs. Virginia Tech, 5:30pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – I’m not expecting Virginia Tech to knock Alabama off, but I am hoping Alabama gets a run for their money here.

#5 Georgia vs #8 Clemson, 8:00pm, ABC – Edit/Update here because I forgot this at 2am! Which, really, is a crime because a top ten matchup in week one certainly belongs here.

#12 LSU vs #20 TCU, 9:00pm, ESPN/WatchESPN – Very excited for this one. The Horned Frogs are never a team that people should sleep on and Les Miles is guaranteed to do Les Miles things. This should be fun.

Sunday, September 1st

Ohio at #9 Louisville, 3:30pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – You are watching this because of Teddy Bridgewater. Get acquainted.

Monday, September 2nd

Florida State @ Pittsburgh, 8:00pm ET, ESPN/WatchESPN – You are watching this because it is the only game on.

Predictions

In this section, the HLS staff will have a friendly competition among ourselves to see who gets “closest to the pin” every week. We will predict not just the winner of the ND game, but the score as well. The closest score wins the week and hitting an exact score nets a half point bonus.

Feel free to play along in the comments. If we get enough participation, we might to a giveaway to sweeten the pot.

NDTex

Temple will be destroyed. ND 42 – Temple 6

Biscuit

Via:

No more slow starts for Notre Dame. Brian Kelly has this team on a program, and it’s working. 3 years ago ANY first game opponent made me nervous. Now, no more. I will be at this game as well, and the insane home opener 2 years ago sucked up any bad mojo for games at which I am in attendance for about a bajillion years. WHOMPING.

ND Wins 45-6

Supremely confident that BK has this team ready for the opener.

Bayou Irish

ND 63 – Temple 12

Twibby

Irish 52, Owls 7. Greg Bryant steps up with 2 second half touchdowns after Rees leads the way with 3 in the first half.

Irish Elvis

1st Quarter: Start Fast
GA3 scores the first of his 2 rushing TDs early.

2nd Quarter: Attention to Detail
TJ Jones realizes he can return punts, and the Irish take a 17-3 lead into the locker room at halftime.

3rd Quarter: Effort and Enthusiasm
Irish Chocolate effortlessly and enthusiastically records his third sack as Bob Diaco unveils his “Rush Nix, Drop 10” defensive scheme.

4th Quarter: Finish Strong
The first-stringers watch some fresh faces finish strong in the fourth quarter. ND wins, 30-6.

The Beer

I promised that I’d give the beer selection to the winner of the Dave & Buster’s gift card…but then the winner didn’t respond (and if you are reading this Patrick Corbett, you have until lunch to claim before your prize is forfeit!!!).

Therefore we went to the first alternate, wmeehan, who has responded. He gets the beer claim for now, and possibly $25 in D&B fun later!

wmeehan pointed me towards the Mac & Jack’s line of beers with his personal favorite being the African Amber.

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Ryan Ritter

Editor-in-Chief
Texan by birth, Irish by choice.

First-generation Domer and a former student manager, HLS podcast host, HLS Sim creator, Extra Life streamer, and technical problem haver. You can find more non-Notre Dame related writing on his Patreon.