I’ve had it with Alabama. First it was the National Championship Game. Then, it was their overly-lauded Academic Performance Rate. Then, they had  a rip tide. That, actually, had a delightful touch of ironic gallows humor as one easily imagines the last thoughts of the drowned to be anything but “Roll Tide.” Regardless, the final straw upon this overly burdened camel’s back was their undoing of the Voting Rights Act. Roll (back the clock) Tide. At least Paula Deen had a bright spot in an otherwise black week for her.

If we’re going to catch up to Alabama, though, we’re going to need depth and speed and muscle in the trenches. In our first Class of 2015 commit, we have all three. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jerry Tillery, all 6’7″, 312 pounds of him. I’m sure after Coach Longo gets his hands on him, he can comfortably hang another eighty pounds of muscle on the obviously malnourished lad from Shreveport, Louisiana. At which point, he will be able to play center and both guard positions simultaneously. Anyway, welcome to Notre Dame, Jerry. Just don’t change your mind.

Adding to our haul in 2014, The Irish picked up a little defensive help and a nice recruit in Jonathan Bonner. At 6’4″ and a mere 240, Jonathan is projected to play defensive end, outside linebacker, or Jerry Tillery’s walking stick. Bonner hails from Chesterfield, Missouri, and carries a 3.8 Grade Point Average. Anyway, welcome to Notre Dame, Jonathan. Just don’t change your mind.

Rounding out the week’s football news, Notre Dame did not chicken out against at least one historic rival this year, so that’s nice. On Wednesday, Notre Dame and USC agreed to extend their series for another ten years of Lane Kiffin sucking. Seeing as how we bailed on UM, I’m trying to figure out why. Can you?

Digger Phelps got some good news in his battle against bladder cancer and seems to be on his way to one more W — which would be his second against the Big C.

While Notre Dame is not known for its fast women (aside from Lyons), three swimmers are really made a name for themselves. Bridget Casey, Emma Reaney, and Kelly Ryan competed in the US National Championships in Indianapolis this week. Congratulations, ladies.

Ditto for the fencers who competed and straight up owned the Pan American Championships in Columbia.  Lee Kiefer (women’s foil), Gerek Meinhardt (men’s foil), Courtney Hurley (epee), Kelley Hurley (epee) and Mariel Zagunis (women’s sabre) foiled the competition (zing!) on their way to an impressive medal count.

And finally, in a topic touching upon everything Notre Dame, except sorta for football, this is the last Friday Roundup before we join the ACC. I know. You had it marked on your calendar and have been receiving daily Outlook reminders that July 1 is the day, but you can read all about the celebrations we have planned for Monday here.

So that’s your Friday Roundup, loyal readers. Next week, Tex is back at the helm after a much needed vacation of pure relaxation and indulgent meals in Spain and Holland.

For your weekly drink recommendation and with a nod to ‘Mericuh and summer loving:

• Author
• Recent Posts

Bayou Irish

Co-Editor
Hating Hurricanes Since 1990.

Bayou Irish is a Jersey boy and Double Domer who fell under New Orleans' spell in 1995. He's been through Katrina and fourteen years in the Coast Guard, so we cut him some slack, mostly in the form of HLS-subsidized sazeracs. But, when he's not face down on the bar and communing with the ghosts of Faulkner and Capote at the Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone, he's our man in SEC-land, doing his best to convince everyone around him that Graduation Success Rate is a better indicator of success than the number of MNC's won in the last five years.

Latest posts by Bayou Irish (see all)

• Finding Flaws in a Diamond: Clemson’s Rushing Offense - December 17, 2018
• Why Nobody Will Cotton to Notre Dame - December 3, 2018
• Irish Finish Regular Season Perfect 12-0 - November 26, 2018