As I recounted some of Weis’ moments from my manager days in the Brandon Newman piece, I mentioned one of my personal favorite speeches/ass-chewings that he would give out. Weis, in what he would call his “eloquent New Jersey vernacular”, had two particular weapons of choice, dubbed by the managers as (now is a good time to warn everyone this post is going to have some salty language…) “getting motherfucked” or giving the “you have one fucking job to do” speech.
“Getting motherfucked” should be rather self-explanatory. This particular dose of venom involved Weis using the the term “motherfucker” in a variety of ways. However, the “one fucking job to do” speech was a whole other animal. If this speech was fired off, Weis stopped down everything going on during practice so everyone could hear the victim have it. While the bulk of the speech consisted of a variety of ire, it would always conclude with “you have one fucking job to do–is that so hard?!”
One day, I found myself on the wrong end of said speech.
Now, you have to realize that Weis rarely ever said anything to the managers. He appreciated the work we did and would only say something if what we were doing was severely dragging the pace of practice or getting in the way which was a very rare occurrence. You had to seriously screw up to get his attention, much less that speech.
I managed to find a way.
In my defense, it wasn’t completely my fault. We were running a two-minute drill inside the stadium and I was a part of the chain-gang and responsible for the down maker (the box that marks the line of scrimmage and gives the current down). Usually, we have a play script on hand that tells us down, distance, and the play. This time we didn’t.
Now, I figured if it was a two minute drill, we should start 1st & 10; however, we had refs on hand for this practice and I wanted to make sure I didn’t screw it up. So I asked them to confirm if we were starting 1st & 10. I was told no, we were starting 3rd & 10. It seemed a bit odd, so I asked again if they were sure and they swore they were.
Whatever, the drill was about to start and it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen a strange down & distance to start a drill before. So 3rd & 10 it was.
Brady Quinn threw a quick incomplete pass, brings the team back into the huddle, I flip the marker to “4”, and then Weis blows his whistle repeatedly: “Hey Brady, hold on a second–HEY YOU OVER THERE ON THE SIDELINE!”
Have you ever had a moment, when you knew all eyes were on you and you just knew that you were about to unwillingly become the center of attention? Yeah, that happened here.
“This isn’t hard,” Weis continued, “We are starting a new drive, ok. That means it’s 1st & 10. Now that pass was incomplete and that makes it 2nd & 10, not 4th & 10. You have one fucking job to do–is that so hard?!”
I sheepishly turned the marker back to “2” embarrassed to all hell. I look back to the ref standing next to me that dug the hole I gleefully jumped into, “So 3rd & 10, huh? Thanks a lot for that one.” Which got the response of pure silence.
I take solace in knowing that I was not the last manager to receive that speech. Plus, I end up with a funny story–one that is at my expense, but funny anyways.
Your job is football, not Twitter. So says Florida State.
Your job is to recruit in Penn State’s parking lot. Spencer Hall has your guide for navigating these strange waters.
Seems like the ACC’s new job is to woo ND. Yeah, that whole “all or nothing” line in the sand the ACC drew got kicked.
Herring Bone got himself a new job. He’s now with the gang led by the Subway Domer. Be sure to check out his first entry.
I’m running out of job puns. So here is a link to One Foot Down breaking down the recruiting class of 2013.
Fans, be aware, this is not your job. Leave recruits alone. Let the coaches do their job, they’ll be just fine on their own:
For this week’s beer, I’m heading back home to Texas and Shiner.
Now, I am no fan of grapefruit, and never really considered having it as a prominent ingredient in a beer. However, Shiner Ruby Redbird pulls it off. The blend of grapefruit and ginger give this summer brew a sweet start and the aftertaste of clove gives a fantastic kick of spice to balance it out.
- Questionable Morality - May 27, 2020
- Podcast & Video: Notre Dame Virtual Blue-Gold Game 2020 - April 19, 2020
- Saturday Now a Tommy Rees Doubleheader Presented by HLS and One Foot Down - April 17, 2020