South Bend, IN – On the news that Charlie Weis has picked Evan Sharpley to start the game against Southern Cal this weekend, Notre Dame fans far and wide have begun preparations for blaming any issues Sharply may have on “Arm Exhaustion.”
“We were thinking we might call it “Tennis Elbow,” but that doesn’t really fit,” said Notre Dame fan Patrick O’McFlannerty. “What we’re trying to do is coin the term for whatever it is that may cause Joe Montan, uh, Evan Sharpley not to win this week’s game during his first start. We figure he’s been getting just 25 to 30 percent of the practice reps until this week. So he’s never had a week where’s he’s thrown as many passes as he’s about to throw this week. Charlie’s such a bone-head. Can you imagine only giving your #2 QB 25 to 30 percent of the practice snaps with the 1st team so that he’s not fully conditioned to take over the starting job? Anybody could have seen it coming! If Evan doesn’t throw for 300 yards and 4 TDs, it’s clearly Charlie’s fault.”
Not all ND fans, however, are preparing for disaster. Erin Mary Shannon O’Rieordan expects very good things to happen this weekend, and she plans to profit from them. “We’ve already got 5000 t-shirts with Evan’s face superimposed on Touchdown Jesus’ body ordered up, ” said Erin Mary Shannon. “We’ll have them on sale outside of Gate A just as the students come pouring out of the stadium, celebrating Evan’s record setting performance.”
O’Rieordan says she’ll price the shirts, which feature the caption, “Who’s your daddy?” in correlation with the scoring differential between Southern Cal and Notre Dame.
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Face Mask
Good humor MQ.