The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #1 - Southern Cal

You had to see it coming, right? I mean, it only makes sense now that people at ESPN or some other MSM locale are comparing the Poodle to Rockne.

Last year, SoCal was merely good. Very good, yes, but still only good. They weren’t quite the same as the 2005 edition of “the greatest team ever, ever, ever,” but they were still damned good. And while the offensive firepower dropped from 49.1 points a game to 30, the defense started to become the beast that the Poodle had envisioned in so many of his dreams. I can just see the little guy dreaming now. Kicking his hind legs out. Must think he’s chasing a squirrel. And this year, returning 10 starters on defense, the talking heads on ESPN may reverse from their previous discussions of “how many will USC score today?” to “How few will USC allow?” They’re going to be awesome on D.

Offense: John David Booty returns, but he finds himself short 2 NFL caliber wide receivers. Of course, they’ve got a stable of 29 28 27 26 highly regarded running backs to take the heat off of him. They’ve also got guys like Sam Baker on the OL ready to provide plenty of protection, just like a Trojan should.

Defense: Speed. There were times last year when the SoCal defense was so fast that I was sure they were playing with an extra man, and now they’re almost all back for another year. Not only will they be fast this year, but they’ll really know where to go. They’ve got one of college football’s best D Lines, probably the best Linebacking Corps in the country, and, lemme see here, ah, yes, probably the best defensive back field in the country too. Good grief.

Special Teams: Pete Carroll (a girl’s name, ha!) once had Reggie Bush returning kicks, and he still only managed a mediocre performance of the art. If there’s one weakness, it’s here. With all the talent on the roster, it should be so, but we get a feeling that the Poodle would rather joke about suicide than spend much time working on the Punt Team.

Facts:

Southern Cal has defeated Notre Dame 5 straight years. 4 of those 5 times, the wins were by a margin of 20+ points.
10 returning starters on defense makes for the most returning defensive starters any SoCal team has had in 20 years.
SoCal’s loss to UCLA was also the first time in 63 games that the Trojans scored fewer than 20 points.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 1
Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 3
Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 1.5

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

The winner of the 2007 College Jeopardy Championship was a UCLA student, despite the tournament taking place on SoCal turf.

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Until October 20th, there’s no reason to think that SoCal will be anything but unbeaten. Nebraska on September 15th? Please. That game last year was not “close.” Callahan played not to lose too badly.

But come October 20th, a new era shall be heralded in. Men will cheer, women will swoon, children will cry with joy in their hearts. Because on October 20th, it all starts to fall apart for the Boys from Troy, and their incessant songs and cheers will be snuffed out forever. Stone.

Editor’s Note: Whew. I can’t believe how painful that was. Fun, but painful. I’m not sure I ever want to do it again. Maybe from now on we’ll just tell you who’s #1-25 and feel no compulsion to explain our intelligent reasoning.

I’d intended to so a synopsis of all 25 teams, but time is short, and the pilots don’t really wait around for me at the gate like they once did, back when I had all that power. All that money… So just click on the tag for this post if you want to see the rest. It may or may not be worth it. I’m going to let it all sink in before I decide. That’s how you have to approach these things. It’s like a fine wine, or a Farrelly Brothers movie.

Now let’s go see some G-D Football!

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