Charlie Weis had a press conference yesterday. A news conference so long and so chock-full of info that he actually laid out a lunch spread for reporters in attendance. I took a look at the transcript. It was like reviewing my freshman year physics notes – very long and very intimidating. I hope those reporters had comfy chairs. Here’s what I gleaned from it in 45 seconds:
- LSU has the offensive balance of a tight-rope walking puma.
- LSU’s QB, JaMarcus “Big M” Russell is Daunte Culpepper before Daunte Culpepper lost his leg and his Randy Moss. You know, the Daunte Culpepper that doesn’t suck.
- LSU has 4 – count-em 4 – unstoppable running backs.
- LSU has a player named Hester. Just like the Chicago Bears. No word on if they have a player named Tank, who, despite the name, requires a body guard.
- LSU has a triumvirate of receivers. The transcripting robot thought Charlie said “triumphant.” I hope that’s not an omen. Stupid robot omens.
- LSU has a left guard/tree that is 6’7″ and 351 lbs. He’s basically 3 of your girlfriend unless your girlfriend is a fat-ass.
- LSU’s defense does not “give up” points. They permit points like an Iranian dictator allows his subjects to “live.”
There’s more Q&A stuff in there too. Enough to rival the last time Jenna Jameson showed up at a conference in Vegas. And most of it doesn’t involve some tool reminding Charlie that he’s his biggest fan and owns all his videos. Charlie doesn’t have that many vidoes. Thank God.
Beat Writers love them some deviled eggs.
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It sounds like Bourbon St., the entrance to the French Quarter..
I wouldn’t call the LSU running backs “unstoppable”. The best praise you can give is to Jacob Hester (“consistent”), and Keiland Williams (“great potential”). The other two, Justin Vincent and Alley Broussard, are best described as “suck”.
And then there’s the fact that Les Miles tries to run the ball early against good teams (yes, he’ll try this against ND), ignoring the fact that the running game sucks and the passing game is easily the best in LSU history.