With Notre Dame taking it easy this week, you might be thinking to yourself, “Self, what on earth am I going to do with my Saturday with no Notre Dame football to view? And why does my wife keep coming home late? And why does my daughter wear so much black clothing? And will my son ever learn to stop being such a pansy? And why does my dog keep barking at me? We used to be best friends. Now he barks at me and sometimes he snaps at me! I’m afraid. And will my boss ever recognize all the hard work I put in every day? Will I ever get a raise? Will I ever make it above middle manager? How would life be different if I’d tried harder in school? What if Suzy Smillsmith and I had never broken up? Man, she was hot. Smokin’! Whew. I bet life would be better. She was so… so… so alive. Just electric. I wonder what ever happened to her after she quit school, dumped me, and left for Hollywood. Man, talk about a pair of legs. Yowza. Hey, speaking of yowza, I wonder if it’s possible to drink too much Scotch. You think I’ll live to up to my potential if I keep drinking Scotch like I do and making Wendy’s, Burger King, and KFC my primary sources of food? Mmmm. I should make a pizza. Yeah. Pizza. Man am I fat. No wonder Jan wont touch me. I wouldn’t touch me. I wonder if my daughter’s boyfriend is really just 18. He sure looks a lot older. And was that a gun I saw in the waist of his pants? Nah. And Tommy. Heh. What a loser. I can’t believe he’s my son. Why, God, did you stick me with that loser? I mean it’s one thing if he’s a wimp, but he’s not good at ANYTHING! His grades are horrible, he isn’t into sports. He’s 16 and my wife and I haven’t seen a bit of interest in girls on his part. But you can’t seperate him from his friend ‘Xeno.’ Xeno? What sort of name is that? I wonder what HIS parents were thinking naming him that. Eh. It’s probably not even his real name. Man, when did life get like this? I thought I was going places. I thought I had real potential to be somebody.”
And if that’s what you’re thinking to yourself, then you might consider therapy.
But if you were just thinking you might want to catch a few non-ND football games, then HLS reccomends:
- Ohio State at Michigan State: Johnelle Smith has laid the roadwork for MSU’s first really schizo move of the year. He’s made it clear to the players, coaches, and media that he believes he must make it into a bowl game to keep his job. Watch out. This could be a really huge upset. Bonus: You’ll know within about 3 minutes of watching if the upset is possible or if the slaughter is on.
- UCLA at Oregon: Spend a little time watching our next opponent. Oregon will, probably, be their best opponent of the season to date. It’s the best shot anyone’s had at getting a real grip on how good or bad UCLA actually is – especially on defense.
- Baylor at Texas: Baylor’s apparently been talking a little smack. And ya know what? I sorta dig it. Texas hasn’t really beaten any great teams this year. The Red River Shootout just didn’t have that panache it normally would.
- Florida at Auburn: Watch the Gators stomp the Auburn… What is the Auburn mascot? Anyway, doesn’t matter. Watch as they stomp Auburn, and then ESPN latches onto their jocks like they did USC circa the last 3 or 4 years. Remember! The SEC is just chock-full of excellent teams, so whenever one SEC teams creams another SEC team, the first team must be the greatest team in the universe!
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-15 - November 15, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-08 - November 8, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-01 - November 1, 2009
Bad Kermit
No ND Saturday. No Bears Sunday. What am I supposed to do, spend time with the wife?
The Biscuit
build a pirate bar?
Bad Kermit
I still do need to finish the back bar… Good point.