It’s that time of year again folks. Time when the leaves start to change, the autumn breeze rolls in, the grills get fired up, and so do I…
That’s right, it’s time for the annual pre-season opener homemade pep rally and here’s your guide to doin’ it yourself. This annual tradition was started by the K-Man, a legendary ND fan out of Cleveland, OH, who also happens to be my brother-in-law. I’ve picked it up, and the power of this pep rally is tangible.
Assuming you can’t make it to Tech for the Alumni Association’s cheesy-ass tailgate pep rally, this is the best thing you can do to get ready for the big game Saturday.
- 4 Pints Guinness
- Cake Mix (chocolate is my favorite, but feel free)
- Icing: A lot of white, and some of that fun colored stuff that tastes like glue in Blue, Gold and Green
- 1 Copy of Rudy
- ND Fight Song and other ND Football songs on CD/iPod/8 Track
- Start off by Tivo-ing a few great old Irish games on ESPNClassic. Given that it’s Thursday already, this may be tough to pull off by Friday night. But do it if you can.
- 8 PM Friday – Blast ND Fight Song. Crack first Guinness. Drink slowly and smile. It’s football season again and you’re a mother-*&%$-ing Irish Fan.
- 8:05 – Ask wife/girlfriend/fiance’/latestrandomhookup to help you make the Kick-off Cake, which you sure as hell will screw up without her.
- 8:02 – Begin watching Tivo’d games while the ‘chef’ takes over with the cake.
- 8:10 – Crack second Guinness.
- 8:20 – Cake is in the oven, and it’s time to watch Rudy. Feel the chills roll up your spine as Rudy walks out onto the field in the off-season, snow falling. Remember the smell of campus, and that “I can take on the world” feeling you had as you walked across the manicured lawns. Then remember the cake is fucking burning.
- 8:50 – Take cake out and let cool. Back to Rudy with your 3rd Guinness.
- 9:45-ish – Rudy is over, with the final play in the game a dramatic sack of a Georgia Tech QB by a 5-foot-nothin 100-and-nothin ‘motivational speaker’. Crack your final Guinness and enjoy that buzz.
- 10:00 – Decorate cake with Green, Gold and Blue paste-tasting-stuff in preferred manner. Last year I went with a Golden Dome and a football that looked like a turd. As soon as you’re finished, crush 3 pieces. Mmmmmm, cake.
- 10:30 – Break into the old Miller Lite sitting in the back of your fridge bc the buzz is fun, your wife/girlfriend/whore is laughing at you, and you love the pep rally.
- 10:31 – Blast the Fight Song again, cuz it’s time for the annual stair runs and pushups. This is where things get ugly. To remind ourselves that we were once athletes, we will run up and down a flight of stairs 10 times, doing 5 pushups at the bottom each time. But to remind ourselves that we’re old and not serious anymore, we will do all this while holding, and drinking, a beer. Do it. It’s hilarious and it shows your dedication to the cause.
- 11ish – Return to couch, crack another beer, and watch highlights on Tivo until you pass out. Tomorrow, it begins.