About 30 Uber Geeks at Georgia Tech Preparatory School got really nervous about the impending doom of the approaching Notre Dame match and employed 40 million industrial fans deployed along the Gulf Coast to force Hurricane Ernesto into a hard Northerly turn to the right, towards Atlanta, GA.
Being really good at math and physics, but really sucky at reading comprehension, Joe Buck Pelthammer, a senior at Georgia Tech and leader of this “Environmental Redirection Project” said, “We all heard about Quinn, Zbikowski, and Samardzija, but then I got reading some other stories about ND. Did you know the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse play for them? I mean, I knew they were Catholic, but geez.” When asked where Pelthammer and his band of cowards placed all 40 million fans, he replied, “Uh. Well, mostly along the Mississippi coast. We figure nobody actually ever visits there anyway.”
Thus far the fans have had an unknown effect on Hurricane Ernesto, but computer models are now projecting the eye of the storm passing along the East coast of Georgia on Friday. “We may need to slow the fans from setting ‘3’ to setting ‘2’. We don’t want a complete u-turn,” said Pelthammer. Other effects have already taken place. For example, nobody on the coast on Mississippi can actually hear what anyone else is saying. When asked over the phone about what she thought of the 40 million fans along the coast of her state, Marie Urplenurple replied, “Yeah. I love moonpies.”
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I will be there with my rain poncho on. I say bring on mother nature…she’s got nothing on “Our Lady”!