Happy new year, everyone, we didn’t even make it 48 hours into 2019 without someone throwing out a click bait headline that’s making the rounds nationally. Your leader in the clubhouse for worst click bait of 2019 is David Haugh, an old favorite punching bag of HLS. I guess it’s been too long since he’s done a drive-by hit-piece on Notre Dame, so here we are.
Anyways, we should start with the thing everyone, including national media is quote tweeting:
Sources: Notre Dame's Brian Kelly has emerged as a coach of interest in the Buccaneers' searchhttps://t.co/crELTa2VsT via @DavidHaugh pic.twitter.com/IZ9dCFmOPc
— 670 The Score (@670TheScore) January 2, 2019
Let’s just look at the headline: “emerged as a coach of interest”. Now all of a sudden that turns into people talking about a potential ND opening because of course it does; however, nowhere in that headline alone does it mention Kelly actually has interest at all. Basically, anyone with a brain looks at this and can quickly see that BK’s name appeared on a list.
Oh, but I’m sure the post itself has more information that we absolutely need to dive into. No one would possibly run that thin of a story, right?!
Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly has emerged as a coach of interest to the Buccaneers in their search to replace Dirk Koetter, 670 The Score has learned.
The Buccaneers fired Koetter on Monday after he went 19-29 in three seasons and enlisted the search firm Korn-Ferry to help identify the next coach, who also could be given control of the 53-man roster. In a statement released about the firing, Buccaneers owner/co-chairman Joel Glazer said the search will be conducted by general manager Jason Licht. The firm has experience assisting coaching searches with the Texans, Falcons, Chiefs, Seahawks and Jaguars. Kelly’s name surfaced in the past 48 hours after the search firm became more involved in the process.
There’s your lede. A search firm put BK’s name on a piece of paper. That’s the story.
Related: Anna Kendrick is a person of interest for me should Mrs. Tex replace me with her person of interest, Ryan Reynolds. No search committee was needed to point out the obvious in that one.
But it gets better:
Kelly’s level of interest remains unclear after he was made aware of the possibility the Bucs could pursue him, according to league sources. Contacted Wednesday morning about the situation, a Notre Dame spokesman has yet to respond.
Haugh literally reported that Kelly’s interest is unclear and no one from ND responded. No shit, Sherlock. “Hey BK, ND, I heard your name is on a list for a coaching vacancy, any comment on why water is wet?”
Get all the way the eff outta here with this nonsense. Dude contacted ND before he went on the air this morning about this garbage and has the nerve to put into writing “a Notre Dame spokesman has yet to respond” like ND should officially to respond to such thinly sourced BS that even he admitted doesn’t really mean anything.
I’m sure this can’t get worse though:
The Glazers are known for aiming high for coaching candidates and are said to be considering paying their next coach as much as $10 million per season, a salary hard for Kelly to ignore. That compensation likely would reflect the Bucs’ interest in making Kelly the head of football operations, overseeing the entire organization and answering only to ownership, a source said. Kelly earns a salary of $2.1 million, according to USA Today’s annual coaching data base, but makes considerably more through outside income sources. His deal with Notre Dame runs through 2021.
Nevermind, it did. If I turned this in to a middle-school English teacher, this entire paragraph would be circled in red with a note of “what does this even mean?!” in the margins.
The Bucs “are said to be considering” should win a damn trophy for the most passive use of the passive voice of all damn time. Trying to tack on an obvious “hey that’s a lot of money” to try and justify the statement is beyond laughable. Following it up that the “compensation likely would reflect the Bucs’ interest in making Kelly the head of football operations” is another nonsense statement. There’s no meat on this bone and no foundation to the statement at all.
Here, let me rewrite this entire bullshit post, Haugh:
This morning, 670 The Source, has learned that a searching firm has put Brian Kelly’s name on a list of potential candidates to fill the Tampa Bay Buccaneers current head coaching vacancy.
While clearly and obvious candidate to be on a list, Brian Kelly’s current interest is unknown as is the level of interest that Tampa Bay currently has.
I absolutely reported this too soon.
Happy freakin’ new year.
Edit: Even BK’s kid is laughing at you, Haugh:
— Kenzel Kelly (@Kenzel_kelly) January 2, 2019
Edit #2: The report has been shot down by the Tampa Bay times. Quote of note:
When confronted with this report, those close to the process of finding a head coach with the Bucs indicated to the Times that Kelly is not a candidate.
Texan by birth, Irish by choice.
First-generation Domer and a former student manager, HLS podcast host, HLS Sim creator, Extra Life streamer, and technical problem haver. You can find more non-Notre Dame related writing on his Patreon.
- Epilogue - January 3, 2022
- HLS Podcast Finale - January 2, 2022
- The Final Fiesta: Notre Dame vs Oklahoma State NCAA ’14 Sim - December 31, 2021
