So you know things are bad when little Toledo is outed to be the bad guy. I mean, we used to be able to depend on schools like Miami, USC and St. Mary’s to provide us with scandal. But was that enough? NO! Toledo saw Pete Carrol’s shady recruiting practices, Miami’s ability to somehow conceal high-power assault weapons on the field, and they thought: Hey, that looks like fun! We’ll give it a shot.
So the players took bribes in the form of cash, cars and groceries. Wait, groceries? Why the hell would you take groceries? Paper towels, lettuce, cereal? What the…
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Can’t you just take cash and then BUY groceries? Or something more fun or destructive, like booze or drugs? I digress…
They then worked together to recruit other players in football and basketball, and I think I heard gymnastics and waterpolo, with the goal of altering outcomes. All of this at the behest of an equally shady bookie/bettor/shady dude named Gary.
Gary?
Gary.
Gary Coleman?Â
Nope. Just Gary.
Now, if you’re going to mastermind something like this, and try to profit from it, you need a better name than that. How about ScarFace? Or Jimmy the Rat? Anything is better than Gary. Gary is the smelliest town in the country, in the armpit of Indiana. It is NOT a shady dude using college kids for profit. (and with that we’ve managed to fit two of the lamest cities in the country in a single post, woo hoo!)
What’s the point? There is none. It was just a random story involving a small school with virtually nothing else going on and a dude named Gary. How could we not write about it?
Here’s more at ESPN if you’re interested, but I don’t think reporting can get any more solid than the above:Â http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2823507
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