In the play below, Joe Pa gets caught being dead while on a sideline of a football game, and as a result breaks at least one of his dry, lifeless bones. He was attended too immediately by the medical staff and a shaman who had to scramble for a few stray cats’ brains in order to keep Joe Pa’s life force going until a suitable sacrifice could be made.
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Joe Pa, being too dead to be used as a Stud in the creation of more football coaches, will instead continue to “coach” the Penn State squad. “We’d have to track down about 15 unicorns to bring Joe back up to a level needed for studding, and we’ve really got to be careful about over-hunting the population,” said Joe Pa handler Max Malicious.
Meanwhile, Big 10 referees across the nation toasted the demise of Joe’s leg. Said one ref, who made the quote available on the presumption of annonymity, “That bastard will never run me down. Again.” The referree then went into hiding after HLS explained that most undead can regenerate to 100% effectiveness. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.”
Reports from State College, PA indicate that the “procedure” to fix Joe’s leg, here a sacrifice of 9 blonde, blue-eyed virgins between the ages of 16 and 24, but masked under the name “surgery,” went well, and Joe Pa is expected to make a full re-generation. 5 different area families will be compensated for their losses with season tickets to Penn State games and a life-time supply of Keystone Light. Meanwhile, nuns at a local orphanage are refusing to return our calls.
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-15 - November 15, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-08 - November 8, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-01 - November 1, 2009
