Details below! Good luck!

Earlier Post:

Welcome back to another season of Irish Football! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! RACK EM FLACK EM PACK EM CRACK EMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

Last season our Silent Auction benefiting the ND General Scholarship Fund and Kelly Cares raised over $1,000 for these two worthy causes, and hooked up some Irish fans with tickets to some quality football games. This year, we’re doing it again, and BIGGER!

We have 3 sets of tickets to bid on! 2 sets of 2 to Oklahoma (or you can bid on all 4), and 2 tix to MSU.

Here’s how it works:

1) Email your bid to herloyalsons at gmail

2) Include in the subject SILENT AUCTION BID: PACKAGE X. If you want both OK sets, it’s PACKAGE 2 + 3.

3) Specify the game (details below) and your TOTAL BID. This is the total amount you’re bidding, NOT the per ticket amount. Please do not say “Hey Biscuit, how about I give you $X right now and you call it a day?”. That’s not how a silent auction works, and it’s not how we raise the most money. So, my answer before you ask: no thanks, just bid high buddy!

4) Sit back, and wait. We will close the bidding on Wednesday, 8/21, in time for the annual pep rally. Bid early, and bid as high as you can go. One of last year’s winners eeked it out by a few bucks!

5) Winners only will be notified via email. If you hear nothing, you didn’t win (sorry!) and you can’t up your bid at that point. So again, bid high! Payment will be accepted via paypal (preferred) or check, and tickets will be mailed via trackable FedEx upon receipt.

Without further ado, your ticket packages!

PACKAGE 1: Two Tickets together vs Michigan State at Notre Dame. DOWN WITH SPARTY! Remember when they sent that midget out to protect midfield from a flag-planting. Yeah? NEVER LET IT GO!

Section 133, Row 26, 2 Seats Together.

MIN BID PER TICKET IS $100

Package 2: Two Single Tickets vs Oklahoma at Notre Dame

Buy these 2 or combine with the 2 Together vs Oklahoma! Yeah, you’re running solo but you’re pretty sneaky, and being in the game is certainly better than sitting alone in the freaking parking lot with the horse cops so, yeah, BID! Tickets are in the lower bowl, both pretty solid.

Section 2, Row 50; Section 36, Row 53

MIN BID PER TICKET IS $120 (note: Single Tix on Stubhub going for $200+fees)

Package 3: Two Tickets Together vs Oklahoma at Notre Dame

Buy these 2 or combine with the 2 Singles vs Oklahoma to have a reeeeeal par-tay. Remember when we kicked their ass last year? Get ready for the rematch. Bob Stoops is asking fans to recruit via Twitter so he can try to keep up with the Irish. AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN STOOPSY! Get your tix so you can watch it all happen live and in person. You get to sit next to your dad/best friend/lady/muse/whoever and watch Irish Chocolate DESTROY SOONERS. Prediction? PAAAAAAIN. Tickets are in the lower bowl, so again, solid seating!

Section 21, Row 41. Giggity!

MIN BID PER TICKET IS $150 (note: Tix on Stubhub going for $350+fees)

So that’s it folks. Bid early, bid often, and let’s raise some money while getting some lucky folks in ND Stadium for some AWESOME games.

GOOOOOOOOO IRISH! BEEEAAAAT EVERYBODY!!!!!

Ah, football, it’s good to be back.

The post Reminder: Silent Auction for MSU / OK Tix Ending Soon! appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

This wisdom is apparently not shared by the Stadium.  We have two jarring changes coming in just a matter of two fortnights.  First, there will be open seating in the student section.  I will henceforth call this “Pamplona Seating” and I will address it later.  Second, there will be no satchels, rucksacks, pouches, or bags of any sort allowed into the entire Stadium for anyone in attendance.  I will address this policy change now.

Very simply, I love it.

This is a football game, people, not a camping trip!  What in God’s Name could you possible need that requires you to haul a 50-pound haversack into the Stadium?  Besides which, there’s hardly room for two fit and thin gams between the benches, much less a purse you could fit an infant in.  Now I know I have a vow of poverty, and therefore the number of possessions I need to tote into a football game is limited to a Rosary and a flask…of Holy Water.  But both of those are essential to helping the team win.  You can’t tell me that a padded seat for your already amply cushioned fanny, a basket of finger foods and various delicacies, and a trove of electronic devices are anything but manners in which to distract yourself from your entire purpose in being present in the Stadium – cheering for the team!

For all the wailing and gnashing of teeth about giving up traditions and adding vulgar modern innovations to the House that Rockne Built, the “Bag People” certainly feel the need to gussy-up their little (and I mean little) portion of the stands.  You’re sitting on a plank so narrow even Blackbeard would feel bad making a traitor walk down it.  Don’t try to make it more like your well-appointed sitting parlor.  Embrace it in all of its austerity, unchanged since the days of our Nordic hero!  And if you don’t like your plank-seat, stand up and cheer!

Despite this exhortation to embrace the Stadium’s new spirit of holy holdall poverty, I know we’ll all hear quite a few strident voices come the 31^st.  Here are just a few standards that will be trotted out by people told to leave the sea bag behind:

“Do you know who I am?”

Please tell me so I can revoke your ticket privileges.

“Do you know who my husband is?”

Will he still be your husband after his ticket privileges are revoked?

“What am I supposed to do without all this?”

Cheer.  Or go home and enjoy ‘all this’.

“I know Fr. Jenkins.”

So do most of the people here, since the attention-fiend sends out a lot of Christmas cards.

“I know Fr. Hesburgh.”

And he’s known all the Popes, Presidents, Cardinals, Senators, Secretaries-General of the UN, and Alumni from the last 60 years…where do you fit on that list?

“Do you know how much money I give this place?”

Not enough for the naming rights on the Stadium, so keep trying!

“I fought two wars for this country and you’re telling me I can’t bring a bag into the Stadium?”

Your service is noble.  Now pretend the other team are the Germans or the Japanese or the North Koreans and show us how you did it.

“Whose stupid decision was this?”

The Blessed Mother.  Write Her a letter, ball it up, and throw it in St. Mary’s Lake.  Or set it on fire with a candle at the Grotto and let the smoke rise to heaven.

“If this doesn’t change, I’m never coming to another game here ever again.”

You’d probably be happier up the road in a little town called Ann Arbor.  They’ve got a giant stadium that caters to loud-mouthed, self-impressed, egomaniacs and all their baggage.

As for what we might hear in the student section when the gates open for Pamplona Seating, aside from a lot of filthy cursing and panicked screams:

“Don’t push me too hard – I have a bag of wine taped to my back.”

“Are you playing interhall this year?  Block for me, we’re going for Row 1.”

“Do you know who my Dad is?”

“Thank God I did Bengal Bouts.”

“I fell down so many stairs that I either wet myself or my flask burst…damn, it was my flask.”

“Do you know how much money my Dad gives this place?”

“Can a Rosary be used like brass-knuckles?”

“I know Fr. Jenkins…and we must have really screwed up because he’s sitting right next to me.”

Student 1: “Man, you really decked that usher to get to the front row seats.” Student 2: “What? I don’t care about front row seats.”

“I think I just broke parietals in that pile-up.”

“Don’t worry…we’ll have the good seats all to ourselves — I ate Dining Hall Mexican and Thai last night.  Just make sure I don’t get squeezed going through the gate.”

I firmly support both the end of the Bag People as well as Pamplona Seating.  Fans will enjoy not feeling like they’re surrounded by pack mules.  Students with the zeal necessary to fight through will be closer to the team on the field.  Happy fans and happy students cheer more.  And if you’re an angry alum who feels naked without his attaché or her clutch, if you’re a surly student who wants a better seat, then give vocal vent to your aggression – the other team can’t distinguish between cheering and hurling abuse at the injustices of the Stadium.

Change is coming.  You’ve got 22 days to get ready.  Sew bigger pockets into your pants.  Practice the flying wedge with your section-mates.  But above all, be prepared to cheer – that’s the only reason we let you into the Stadium in the first place.

EFS CSC

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Bags and Bulls appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

So I welcome a distinctive Notre Dame scent if it can help cover some of the more earthy, human undertones that assault the nose in a community of 8,000 living and breathing late-teenage, early-20s scholar-athletes.  My only concern is what it might smell like and what ingredients will be used to create the essence.  Permit me to offer some suggestions:

Eau du Lac – An alluring combination of Main Building Magnolias, a hint of beeswax from Grotto candles, with a fresh and watery base of the Lakes.  For men or women, this fragrance will enhance a person’s attractiveness and appeal…until Midnight, at which point it begins to reek of fetid ditch rot and utterly repels the opposite sex.

Irish Leather – A rugged, manly scent that combines tanned and oiled pig skin with touches of worn redwood from the Stadium bleachers and freshly cut bluegrass from the field.  On Irish fans, this balm not only smells great, but it rejuvenates the skin give a person that healthy glow.  On any other fans, it burns like fire.

Re-Joyce – A warm smell best suited for winter or cold-weather wear, this couples a bold essence of varnish with scents of laundered collarless shirts and the vaguest suggestion of popcorn.  Splash this on in the morning and it will last you well into the evening and night – even through five overtimes.

Kelly Green – Surprisingly, this is for the lady, since it is an intense fragrance that can cause a group of large, muscular men not only to take notice of you, but to hang on your every word.  This can be worn day-to-day, or it can be a reliable fallback option – your next perfume in.  It comes in a distinctively colored box: Paqui Pink.

Le Nix – It smells overpoweringly of chocolate.  Only for wear by big men.

Nostalgique – Made especially for Alumni, it is actually simple distilled water.  But put in on, and it smells sooooo good, the best thing you’ve ever smelled or ever will smell, and it smells just like you’ve always remembered it.

In keeping with the notion of olfactory campus beautification, perhaps we could have a line for the residence halls:

Moose Musk – A rich, woodsy scent that combines the essence of a wooly pelt with northern evergreen.  Good for covering sweaty shoe, never-changed sheet, and Sunday morning bathroom.  Best for lads of Dillon or Zahm, but when too many wearers are in the same room on a Friday night, fights can and will break out.

Lyonnaise – A fragrance that captures the breeze off St. Mary’s Lake in Spring and couples it with a sandy, beachy-volley-bally undertone.  And, strangely enough, it has a hint of caramelized onion about it.

Morris C – This cologne immediately reminds the wearer of walking into an old, established gentlemen’s club, with elements of leather wingback chair, well-thumbed books, and a suggestion of fine cigar smoke.  But be careful, just a drop will fill a very small room with its scent.  And it can also be used for unblocking drains, luring and killing cockroaches, and providing a contact high like a good three-beer buzz.

Karol – It’s supposedly an amazing, exhilarating, enchanting fragrance, but almost no one – save for a handful of lads – has ever smelled it.  Besides which, nobody knows where or how to find it.

Siegfried’s Folly – To be worn by both women and men, this scent has a Teutonic essence and an operatic intensity.  Upon first waft, it smells of beautiful Edelweiss blossom, but then it turns to rugged Grunewald pine.  And it makes you want to invade and conquer Knott and all the Pasquerillas.

As I understand it, other colleges and universities already have their own perfumes, with more in development:

Texas A&M – I’m not sure what this would smell like, but it won’t smell like College Station and no one on campus will recognize its scent.

Alabama – Eau de Deer Antler.

Michigan – Ahhh, there’s nothing quite so refreshing as the smell of North America’s largest weasel in summer rut.

USC – Sulfur, tar, burning hair, and fornication.

Boston College – Heresy.

When it comes right down to it, I really don’t care what the perfumiers put into each bottle of Notre Dame’s new scent, just so long as it smells overwhelmingly like one and only one thing: VICTORY.

EFS CSC   

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Common Scents appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

As far as I can tell, a Greek shipping tycoon is behind the changes.  This Mr. Adidas has evidently donated enough money to be able to demand that his upholsterer design uniforms for special occasions, both football and basketball.  While some of these visual effects might be quite fetching in the staterooms of his yacht, I would advise Mr. Adidas that nothing says ‘I haven’t always had money’ like garish clothing.  Furthermore, it is highly illogical to talk about different and uniform in the same sentence.  So since you all still have to take at least two philosophy course (Deo favente) let’s look at the theoretical nature of uniforms to determine if this cross-dressing style-changing trend is inherently good.

First, the nature of a uniform is that everyone dresses the same.  The purpose is as much “identification of” as “identification with.”  Particular markings show players who their teammates are amidst the ordered chaos of a game.  In football, Michigan players needed to be able to identify each other’s heads above the scrum.  Accordingly, the coach turned to a close relative of his – an under-evolved, foul-tempered, garbage-eating cousin of the skunk – and the wolverine helmets were born.  With its selection of a team color, Michigan wanted to mark itself out; and so they used the color made visible when a wolverine has marked its territory.

That brings up the second point, which is that team colors are important, and in some cases sacred.  We derive this notion from Holy Church, where the team of bishops dresses in purple, the team of cardinals in scarlet, and the team of popes in white (oh yeah, it’s a team now, since we’ve got two of them knocking around).  Team colors even apply to religious orders: Dominicans wear white, Capuchins wear brown, and Jesuits wear the blood of sacrificial animals.  Indeed, from the very beginnings of this great university, our own Notre Dame colors have been set for us by The BVM Herself, Whose wardrobe has always been blue and gold since time immemorial.  And let me tell you, She looks absolutely divine in those colors.

Which leads to a third point: you don’t change your team’s colors.  A leopard doesn’t change his spots, and a general doesn’t change horses midstream.  As our colors are ordained  by heaven, we have never changed them.  What about green, you ask.  Well, green is the color of envy and fertility – two things The BVM doesn’t do.  Green was added first by the football team, and soon came to be associated with our adoption of the Irish as our moniker.  The Irish do envy and fertility very well.  But the Irish also sing about “Forty Shades of Green,” and that’s where the trouble starts.

Over the years, the football team has tinkered with the particular hues of blue, gold, and green, though never drastically.  Most recently, they added a sheen of glitter to their helmets – call it a “sweaty Dome” look.  They also added black and white to the uniforms for one game; but I believe that’s to honor me and my fellow CSCs.  It is the basketball team and its jarring shade of green that has been troubling to so many.  And that’s a shock, because the uniforms have actually offended a group that revels in the loudest of plaids.  Our Alumni like to believe themselves swaddled in plaid from birth.  In many cases, that’s literally true.  And not just any tartan – our skyish-blue and chartreuse pattern is invaded by a rogue orangy-red stripe and set on a black background.  Presented with that tartan for his official approval, the Lord Lyon must have thought someone opened the Ark of the Covenant.

Thus, my fourth and final point is this.  It’s fun to play dress-up and variety is the spice of life.  But like their cooking, the Irish can’t take too much spice in their uniforms.  I think it’s fine to introduce some excitement into our sports competitions with the occasional jersey change – but don’t change it too much.  For a good example, look at our mascot.  We changed from an Irish terrier to a Leprechaun.  On the surface that might seem dramatic.  Yet, deep down they are very similar: they are both small, hairy, and pugnacious; neither backs down from a fight, both bite, and both have occasional incontinence problems during long football games.

And speaking of long games – whose idea was it to start tonight’s basketball match at 9:45?  Have they not been watching the contests this season?  If the lads stay true to form, they should clinch victory sometime around 3:00 in the morning.  In which case they should wear their glowing-green uniforms – they’ll be safer walking home at that dangerous hour.

EFS CSC

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: True Colors appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

As the poet tells us, in the Spring a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love.  For Notre Dame lads and lasses alike, that means they start getting warm feelings deep down about their true loves – sports and religion.  What else stirs the blood and excites the senses like these?  And one of my most cherished Notre Dame athletic traditions marks the return of Spring: Bookstore Basketball.  It is in the team names that students choose for this tournament, that we see what’s really always on their minds, what they think about constantly…sports and religion.  You were going to suggest something else?  I don’t know what that would be.

With midterms looming, I don’t want students taking too much precious thought time away from academic work and spending hours in class trying to come up with Bookstore Basketball team names (they would never do that).  So I present here a few suggestions.  Students, you may use these freely without giving me any credit – just like everything else at Notre Dame.

For inspiration, let’s look to the Good Book…

Golden Calves – Exodus 32:1-4

Pillars of Salt – Genesis 19:26

Rock Dashers – Psalm 137:9

Big Diana and the Ephesians – Acts 19:28

Gnashing Teeth – Matthew 8:12

Mauling Bears – 2 Kings 2:23-34

Sons Who Smell Like the Field – Genesis 27:27

Adams Five Best Ribs – Genesis 2:22

Loathsome Brothers – Job 19:17

Dorcas, Ham, Nimrod, Zippor, and Jobab – Old Testament

Jawbones of an Ass – Judges 15:15

Men Who Lap Like Dogs – Judges 7:4-8

Hairy Nazirites – Judges 16:17

Five Husbands of a Samaritan Woman – John 4:18

Deadly Tent Pegs – Judges 4:21-22

Talking Asses – Numbers 22:21-29

Beer for the Perishing – Proverbs: 31:6

Better Than Ten Sons – 1 Samuel 1:8

Driving Like Madmen – 2 Kings 9:20

Dropping Like Eutychus – Acts 20:9

Pouring Out Like Libations – 2 Timothy 4:6

Moves like Salome – Mark 6:14-29

Get Behind Us Satan – Matthew 16:23

Eunuchs for the Kingdom – Matthew 19:12

Wise Virgins – Matthew 25:1-13

Lewdness of Youth – Ezekiel 23:21

Half-Naked Davids – 2 Samuel 6:20

Bare Egyptian Buttocks – Isaiah 20:3-4

Twin Fawns and Three Lilies – Song of Songs 4:5

Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuchs – Acts 8:26-40

Young Stags at the Lattice – Song of Songs 2:9

Mourning Our Virginity – Judges 11:37

Returning to Vomit – Proverbs 31:6

Stephen and His Stoners – Acts 6:8

Angels with Fiery Swords – Genesis 3:24

Dry Bones – Ezekiel 37:2

Fashioned with a Tool – Exodus 32:4

Faster Than Hosea’s Wife – Hosea 1:2

Judah, Onan, and the In-Laws – Genesis 38

Philistine Foreskins – 1 Samuel 18:25

The Sword on Ehud’s Thigh – Judges 3:16-23

Don’t Grab the Private Parts – Deuteronomy 25:11-12

Emasculation by Crushing – Deuteronomy 23:1

Greased Hands – Proverbs 27:15-16

Women Caught in Adultery – John 8:1-11

Corrupt Seed – Malachi 2:3

Five Golden Hemorrhoids – 1 Samuel 6:4-5

Gomorrah Didn’t Make It Either – Genesis:19

Don’t Touch Me – John 20:17

Meat Coming Out Your Nose – Numbers 11:19-20

Hairy Hands – Genesis 27:23

Cucumbers and Melons – Numbers 11:5

And if any of these fine team names are censored by spoil-sport administrators, then just substitute John11:35…

Jesus Wept*

EFS CSC

*Or should it be, “Jesus Leapt”

The post Good Fridays w/Padre: Verses Versus appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

I must say, I came away very impressed.

As Heisler notes in his acknowledgement, he wanted this book to be the ultimate collaboration of the history of Fighting Irish football to celebrate its 125 history. To do this, he expanded on Prister’s original work, What It Means to Be Fighting Irish, which contained many interviews from former Irish stars dating from 1938 to 2003. Much of Prister’s work is dropped into Always Fighting Irish, but to say this is simply adding on nine more years of history would be a great disservice to this book.

Always Fighting Irish easily reaches Heisler’s lofty goal. Whether it is Notre Dame traditions, notable games, or the people that shaped ND football to what it is today, this book contains everything that anyone would ever want to know about ND’s 125 history. This book is basically the equivalent of taking hundreds of media guides, history books, and interviews and mixing them all together in an easily digestible format.

The book is split into very logical sections, allowing for easy reference for future lookups or for allowing the reader to quickly jump to the section their section of interest. The book starts with what I’d call a “quick primer to ND football” with chapters on ND and its traditions, 125 “firsts” that ND had, and ND and our rivals and “rivals”.

The book then gets into the real “meat” of ND’s 125 year history with chapters on the 125 most important games in ND history (with a separate chapter devoted entirely to the Irish’s bowl history) and the 125 most important people in ND football history. Each of these two gigantic topics are further split into two separate chapters covering the “old school days” and the more “modern era” of ND football. The result is five chapters of everything you ever needed to know about Fighting Irish football, with the aforementioned interviews from ND players and coaches mixed in.

The mixing of the straight history and stats with the interviews is easily my favorite feature of this book. I’m a stats guy and love digging into the numbers, the history, etc, but even I would get bored of reading hundreds of pages of stats and box score recaps with nothing to break it up. The interviews allow for not only that needed break, but also allow you to go beyond the box scores and stat lines. After all, Notre Dame football isn’t Notre Dame football without the personal stories and experiences — the magic that makes ND what it is.

I also appreciated that the “most important people” goes beyond just the coaches and players. Included in the list are national writers, university presidents, and others, that, while they may not have had a presence on the field or sidelines, had a major impact on making Notre Dame football what it is today. Leaving these men out would’ve been a great disservice to ND’s history and their inclusion shows that Heisler wanted to make sure that readers would see the bigger picture.

The book then concludes with two chapters devoted to the eleven national championship teams and the teams that just barely missed their shot at national title glory. Once again, interviews are sprinkled throughout both chapters and contain some of my favorites.

Overall, I’d definitely recommend this to any Irish fan, especially ones interested in the programs history. It will definitely have a spot on my bookshelf for constant reference alone.

If you are interested in a copy, you can try to win one in our October Giveaway. The book is also available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. Be sure to pick up a copy today!

The post HLS Book Review: Always Fighting Irish appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

WOW.

I mean, I am excited.  Most years we have some horribly ugly and gaudy thing with some lame configuration of 9 different images all jammed into the back with a pithy saying like “shake down the thunder”.  Don’t get me wrong – I like the tradition of The Shirt and that designs are based in long-loved and storied ND traditions.  I love the ND pride inherent in The Shirt and the philanthropic nature of the project. 

But most designs are just plain ugly, and after wearing it to 1-2 games in a season, they all end up in my ‘only wear to sleep’ drawer.  

Not so with 2008!  This thing is beautiful in its simplicity.  And while it does add another color (white) to the ND stable that already contains Blue, Gold, and every shade of Green you can imagine, I am sold. (Side Note:  Can’t we all just settle on a single color for everyone to wear to every single home game ever people?!!???!?!?!?!?!!)

Pre-order yours today!

The post ND Reveals the Best “The Shirt” Design Since….Well…Ever. appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Anyway, we’ve modified the shirt design for those who don’t want to be a walking billboard for HLS.

You can fight evil by purchasing them here.

The post New Anti-Jumbotron Shirts! Now With 50% Less Of Us On Them! appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

Sorry, that was lame. I’d intended to make this post with a pic of Will Ferrel cheering from that SNL skit, but I couldn’t find one.
Anyway, what is very not lame, is this:

HLS is having their first ever readers’ contest. What’s even more very not lame is that the good folks a A&E Home Video have provided us with actual, desireable items that people, like you, might actually want! And all this just in time for Christmas!

I wont waste your time. You don’t really care about the actual nature of the contest (in other words, the rules) until you know if the contest is worth your while. So what, exactly, will the 2 winners of Her Loyal Sons’ first ever contest get?

This:

The University of Notre Dame: Fighting Irish Collector’s DVD Set

Oooooh…. Ahhhhhh…. Ohhhhhh…..

Featuring:

1977 “THE GREEN JERSEY GAME” vs. USC
1978 COTTON BOWL vs. TEXAS
1979 COTTON BOWL vs. HOUSTON
1988 REGULAR SEASON GAME vs. MIAMI
1989 FIESTA BOWL vs. WEST VIRGINIA
1992 “THE SNOW BOWL” vs. PENN STATE
1993 REGULAR SEASON GAME vs. FLORIDA STATE
BONUS: 1966 REGULAR SEASON GAME vs. MICHIGAN STATE

What, I ask, could be a better gift for that special Irish Fan in your life? And what, I ask, could be better, than winning Her Loyal Sons’ first ever readers’ contest, thus achieving international fame and possession of a copy of this wonderful set?

All you have to do is follow this link and follow the rules! And win.

And, if you find yourself winless (?) then just hop on over to A&E’s own store and buy this set just in time for Christmas!

The post We’ve Got Swag! Yes We Do! And We Want It All To Be Won By You! appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.

“We wanted to do something a little bit different and step away from the sports motif a little bit,” GM spokesman Tom Addle said. “We also saw the crazy number of boxes we sold by slapping Notre Dame on the front of them. Did you know I once sold some lady a corn remover for $50 because it had an interlocking ND on it? Of course not. How could you know that? Anyhow, we figured we could capitalize on Notre Dameâ€s success.”

Or lack of success, as the convenient segue may be. Addle also mentioned that the popular Wheaties slogan, “Breakfast of Champions,” would be modified during the series to read, “Breakfast of 9-3 Teams.”

Wheaties seems reluctant to step entirely away from its sports theme, however. The first box will picture a quarter dog in jogging shorts breaking the tape to cross a finish line. “We expect to draw in a lot of people who long for a hot-dog-flavored breakfast cereal,” Addle explained.

Some of the boxes will pay honor to the students of Notre Dame. One will depict a Notre Dame freshman boy trying to convince a girl that walking to class together does not constitute dating. The box will include a novella explaining the ambiguous and awkward scene. Another box will depict the entire text of Du Lac, the student handbook which frowns upon sexual intercourse and co-educational mingling.

In conjunction with the student-themed boxes, Wheaties will include an S.Y.R. gift prize inside of each box. The gifts will range from Nerf dart guns to entire sets of dining hall utensils.

Other boxes in the series will depict famous scenes in Notre Dame history, such as the Freshman 1000-Yard Dash from Bridget McGuireâ€s to Campus, the Sextannual Keg Toss and Subsequent Egg “Toss”, and the ever-popular “Dress Up Like Your Fake ID” Halloween Party.

The first box depicting the quarter dog will be released on November 17, 2006, at midnight, retailing in most stores for a quarter. In the Notre Dame Bookstore, it will sell for $8.99.

The post GM to Unveil New Series of Notre Dame Wheaties Boxes appeared first on Her Loyal Sons.