We've reached the point where most of campus agrees that in the unlikely scenario that my body were able to spontaneously produce ovules I would give them to Jeff Samardzija, and our lovechild would be trained to become a ninja and exact revenge on Terrail Lambert. So what is the new hot topic at Notre Dame, you may ask? Is it tomorrow's elections? Is it the gays again? Is it my pants? Nope. This week's page burner on The Observer is about whether or not grad students should be included ...
Notre Dame Football
EDSBS Knocks It Out Of The Park. Touches Them All. Some Of Them Like It.
EDSBS just summed up ND as well as anyone could, looking to sell off the ND Defense faster and more willingly than the prom queen from Kansas who's been in Hollywood for 18 months and thought it would be easier than this. Notre Dame’s defense. UNC scored 26 points on Notre Dame. This would be the equivalent of a doctor telling you had a slight tumor. On your brain. Where they couldn’t reach it. Ever. And you hear nothing but the words “small,†and then head out happily to go about the ...
Joe Pa Breaks Leg. Too Dead to Put Out to Stud.
In the play below, Joe Pa gets caught being dead while on a sideline of a football game, and as a result breaks at least one of his dry, lifeless bones. He was attended too immediately by the medical staff and a shaman who had to scramble for a few stray cats' brains in order to keep Joe Pa's life force going until a suitable sacrifice could be made. [youtube]5qA-WjRPUvY[/youtube] Joe Pa, being too dead to be used as a Stud in the creation of more football coaches, will instead continue to ...
45-26 Is Not Good Enough
ND Fans were seen cheering for snow as, finally, the hooded sweatshirt made an appearance. Please, lord, let the Emperor don the Cloak. Let me ask you: are you the sort of guy who goes shopping for a car, does a little haggling with the sales manager, and gets 2000 below sticker and thinks, "Hey, hey! I just made a deal?" Or are you the sort of guy who does his research, knows the exact invoice cost of every piece on that car to the penny, walks into a dealership, and gets 2000 bucks below ...
This Right Here is some BULLSHIT, ESPN.
Look at how ESPN characterizes the performances of Troy Smith and Brady Quinn today. Yes, they acknowledge that Troy Smith struggled today (Biscuit Note: STRUGGLED? F-ING STRUGGLED? He threw for 100 and change against ILLI-freaking-NOIS).  But I love how BQ is throwing for great numbers against 'lesser foes', while Illinois is just Illinois. But not 'lesser'. Nope. ESPN is so impartial. No, ESPN you ABC whores, Illinois ISN'T 2 and 8 (meaning EIGHT LOSSES) with a horrible ...
Bogies On The Radar
It's late on Friday night. I'm watching Leno. Russell Crowe is the guest. So I thought, "Hey, I'll do a Bogies on the Radar with an 'If they were a Russell Crowe character' twist!" Problem is, despite all of his characters being quite different, they're all still Russell Crowe. And so instead, you get the bland version... Georgia Tech - (6-2): After having really disappointed the ND faithful who'd hoped for a "quality win" by losing badly to Clemson, it looked like the Theory of Chan ...
North Carolina “Still Cashing in on that Michael Jordan Thing”
SOUTH BEND, Ind.--HLS caught up with North Carolina head football coach John Bunting, seeking comment about the upcoming Notre Dame-North Carolina matchup. When asked about the traditions among the two schools, Bunting said, "When you have a history of two traditional powerhouses matching up like this, it's exciting for everyone. You look back at Notre Dame's history, and you have the Four Horsemen, the 10-10 tie with Michigan State, the green jerseys, breaking Oklahoma's winning streak, ...
In The Market for a New HDTV?
Consider Phillips. And here's why: They're gonna sponsor an entire college football game this weekend, and they're seeking to eliminate "TV timeouts." Bless them. Bless them all and bless their families. I'm not in the market for a big TV as I do not have a big living room for a big TV, but if they keep this up, when I finally purchase my very own McMansion, I'm making mine a Phillips. Down with the Orange Glove and down with 3-2-5-e! ...
They’re Not Overrated bc it’s the Big East. It’s bc Defense = Sieve.
Okay, so this won't be as eloquent or over-the-top of Q's sweet analysis earlier, but clearly we all saw tonight how not-great Louisville and WVU really are. I won't take anything away from their Offenses. Brohm is legit, and the combo of White and Slaton (when they hold onto the ball) is exciting to watch.  But these two teams were undefeated coming into tonight because of some weak-ass schedules and some luck. Summary? They have no D. Neither one. None. Zippo. The scheduling ...
Brian Kinchen of ESPNU on Louisville’s DB William Gay:
"What a gay name." Â ...