The Box Score: 1007 Total Yards of Combined Offense 78 Combined Points Eleventy Billion Missed Tackles 34,000 Members of the Media Gushing over the Louisville Offensive Juggernaut 1 Kicked Dog Tackling - For Those Who Didn't See Any Since They Were Watching The Game Tonight ...
College Football
Stop. I’ve Heard This Before.
There are times when 2 things just don't fit, no matter how hard you try. Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford, for example. Who'd have thunk that would fail? Huh? Huh? Such is the case, it would seem, down in the land of Jorts and Gators. Their thesis: That the sum of their parts does not add up to what it should. In other words, coaching and personnel, while both excellent, don't fit together very well. And voila! There you have the Gator offense 2005-2006: two potentially lethal things ...
Dear Lord, Please Let This Happen
As Kermit mentioned yesterday, The Smith was fired from The Michigan State University. Today the speculatin' and hootin' and hollerin' and what-not begin. And a Michigan (SUCKS!) paper has mentioned the unmentionable as a possible candidate for the job: Tyrone Willingham, University of Washington head coach Pros: Former MSU player has integrity and extensive head-coaching experience. Also has NFL ties. Con: Coaching ability disproved questioned when fired from Notre Dame. Lord, I ...
I Wanna Party With These Guys!
The guys at IRT have reminded us that images of war-torn Slavic nation states that make viewers wonder why those poor people would even bother to keep on living can come from anywhere, including Columbus, OH. Little did I know, Columbus, OH is actually in Detroit. [youtube]PahHn2WxUlI[/youtube] ...
Nut Sacked!
EAST LANSING, Mich.--It's official. Spartan football coach John The Smith will not be retained after the 2006 season. It's over, Johnny. In honor of his great legacy and in preparation of his impending unemployment, HLS has compiled the following list of jobs which might be more suitable for a man of Smith's abilities: Howard Dean campaign manager Assist in the completion of Crazy Horse Memorial in South Dakota Intern: Bethlem Royal Hospital Backup singer for Gnarls ...
Spartans Call Press Conference to Consider Hiring Head Football Coach
EAST LANSING, Mich.--Jahn El Smythe's days in East Lansing may be numbered. And that number may be one. Michigan State has called a press conference to take place at 1:30 p.m. EST to "discuss the coaching situation." Possible coaching topics for the press conference were revealed exclusively to HLS. John L. Smith or Tom Cruise: Whose Issues are Bigger? Stumbling Upon Your Ass: Things to do When Looking for a Hole in the Ground Protecting the 50-Yard Line: The 35-Yard Line of ...
I Go to UCF for the Articles
Playboy is coming to UCF, and if it doesn't use this guy in at least one of the UCF girls' spreads in the upcoming "Girls of Conference USA" pictorial, Hef has really lost it. Bonus points for having a girl named "Watwood" quoted in the article. Watwood? 'Dis wood! ...
The NCAA On Dealing With Violence: Us? Nope! Nope! Nope! Nopenopenopenopenope nopenopenope nopenopenope!
The NCAA, also known as the top regulatory body in college football and all other college athletics, and well known for enforcing rules that are really, really, really important, has decided to pull the anti-Truman on the small, and relatively unimportant matter of violence. But hey, at least they aren't a bunch of lying assholes. Truman: Wouldn't Fit In Real Well At The NCAA ...
Friday Roundup: Indisputable Video Evidence
It's been a big week for Video Evidence unless you're a complete, $%ing moron and president of a joke of a University, and named Donna Shalala. Then, not so much. For her, it's just been a big week for making a jackass out of yourself. But hey, how's that make any difference from any other week, right Donna? Anyway, here's the roundup: The fellas at BGS give us a quick, clean breakdown of the BCS and how it might doe a bit of a jig in the near future. House Rock Build wrote up a ...
Ty Willingham Blogs, Internet Brought To Its Knees
The folks at Every Game Counts have brought the world a blog post by Washington Football Head Coach, Philosopher, Poet, and Gentleman Ty Willingham. The post is so obtuse that the combination of words actually caused a massive internet outage, as nothing so stupid had ever been posted on the web before. In it, Willingham expresses how importantly he holds a work ethic in the grand scheme of things. Notre Dame fans and the head pro at the Notre Dame Golf Course ask, "What Work Ethic?" If ...