Since everyone seems to be talking about the schedule, I’ll throw in my two-cents (mind you, that’s still a lot of money in my book). September 1, Navy in Dublin: I used to like the Navy so much better when they had the good grace to lose for several decades straight. I’m still not sitting too easy with them. But the Ireland thing is…quaint. I suppose we’re giving back to the nation that has given us so many students – the noisiest, most ill-disciplined group of young street rowdies ...
Good Fridays w/Padre: LaBigGame
I've always had mixed emotions about Lacrosse. Of course I'm absolutely thrilled that our lads have done so well and are so exhilaratingly close to winning the championship. No, it's not the players that disconcert me, it's the nature of the sport itself. Sure, it has a good French name; and that name was given to the game by French missionaries, but not the good kind. It was named by the Jesuits (barely suppressed convulsion). I shouldn't go on about these particular Jesuits, because ...
Good Fridays w/Padre: Chores
EFS 's Summer To-Do List: Work on suntan--hands and upper face only. Come to terms with new campus sculpture. Teach football players how to hold their liquor. Try to predict what bizarre controversy John J. will step in next. Read up on manmade grass (still not clear on concept). Book passage on steamer bound for Dublin. Fumigate Zahm (losing battle) See if Leprechaun turns to butter when chased repeatedly around tree. Turn at least one swan into delightful feather ...
Good Fridays w/Padre: End Times
Listen, if they can move Ascension Thursday over to Sunday, I can slide Good Fridays into Saturday. So the little kids have gone home and now the big kids get the place to themselves. Let the debauch begin--it's Senior Week. I have just a few words of advice for our most recent batch of soon-to-be alumni. And if you've spent four years putting up with my petty French boarding school rules, you can pay attention to these: You have no responsibilities but to show up alive for ...
Good Fridays w/Padre: Finally!
In addition to saying mass, hearing confessions, and being an all-around Sacrament Machine, I am also frequently called upon for inspirational words. Remember, I was rallying the spirits of students well before Professor Rockne belted out his tall tale about that booze-hound George Gipp. Now with final examinations about to descend on the campus like the Wrath of God, I shall give some stirring sentiments to all students presently in testing despair. I will do this with a series of metaphors. ...
Good Fridays w/Padre: Sink or Swim
Every year as commencement approaches, certain of our seniors who read very little and were remarkable unobservant over the course of their four years, receive a jarring shock. No, it's not that they don' graduate; rather, it's that they receive a diploma from a different institution than the one they thought they attended. Every year there are a couple of particularly dim individuals who are surprised to learn that their university has a "last name" which is du Lac. When I put this project ...
Like Old Times
I used to love the Old Timers Game. There was nothing like pitting explosive young male ego against the fading pride of men at middle age. Sure, there were a lot of injuries--but this is football not ballet (although, the way some of these new-fangled uniform pants fit, I wonder). Like so many other fine traditions, the Old Timers Game was retired in an obsessive concern over "safety". What's this fixation with safety? You know what's neither safe nor advisable: living in an unheated cabin ...
Let’s Have A Cover-Up
I've never been completely convinced that we need a magazine. It seems like a lot of drivel wrapped around the alumni reports--if you want to call those reports (does anyone really want to read what the same 15 people are doing with each other month after month)? I used to write daily letters from France when I was away from the campus. But that was to let my fellow priests know that I was alive, because a couple of them were squirrely enough to try to sell-up and pocket the cash while I was ...
Rights and Wrongs of Spring
With the high holy day of Easter coming this Sunday, all of the ritual magic of Spring is with us. And since we finally got rid of those late Winter 80-degree days, the students can play Bookstore Basketball without fear of heat prostration. It's wonderful to see creation come back to life, even if it is with a little draconian help from the groundskeepers. We say farewell to the decorative cabbages and their pungent aroma (at least until they are served wrapped around some meat product), and ...
Since the Farm’s Gone, Play Ball
I opened the first campus bookstore shortly after I acquired my first two students. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but students are something of a prerequisite for a college (despite what the faculty may think). Anyway, my original bookstore had a very unique focus--selling books. Call me crazy or a literalist or whatever, but I'm fairly certain the purpose of a bookstore is the purveyance of paginated knowledge receptacles. Evidently, that notion has evolved over the years to include more ...