Here’s a few quotes from Charlie’s Presser today, along with a few obvious comments.
Q. In light of the accusations in Ann Arbor, how does your program monitor the time that all schools push it up.
COACH WEIS:
 It’s actually pretty easy here because of our relationship here with compliance. Our kids don’t get out of school until 2:00. So we don’t see them in the building until 2:15. So it’s kind of tough for — unless somebody’s coming over — we have our training room guys that kind of like hanging out in the training room every day. When you turn around they have a different ice bag on. But if they don’t have a class they have an ice bag. But other than those training room guys, we don’t see any of the players until 2:15 in the afternoon. And between 2:15 and 6:45, we have four hours of meetings and a half hour to get dressed. Because from there they’ve got to eat dinner and go to study hall. So there isn’t a lot of time here. You run a tight clock. It’s a tight clock. Time management is tough enough as it is for these guys.
So what Chuck his saying here, Richie Rodriguez, is that if your PLAYERS GO TO FREAKING CLASS, it makes it pretty tough to break the rules. Even if you wanted to (which, yes, you and the Skunkbears want to, and we don’t, we get it)
Q. I guess it’s probably easier to monitor during the season, but what about during the summer, is there —
COACH WEIS:
I mean, during the summer I don’t understand how anything could really happen. The coaches can’t be involved during the summer. And they get — they run and lift on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. And run and lift usually takes from an hour and a half to two hours. That’s what it is. I don’t understand — I don’t know how everyone else does it, but that’s what we do here, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, they run and lift. I mean, how many hours can you run and lift for? Usually takes about an hour and a half two hours.
Chuck, Rich and Senor Barwis figured out a way. Make them do yoga. Make them do Pilates. Make them do a ton of shite that apparently takes 10 hours a day. Listen Chuck, this is how they do stuff in Ann Arbor. They punish the kids if they don’t do all the extra. They have SPIES monitoring them using those little satellite looking hearing things that I always wanted to get from the Sharper Image catalog. YOU may not know how this happens Chuck, but RR does. Give him a call if you’re interested (we know you’re not interested).
Q. The things they do on their own individually?
COACH WEIS:
What they want to do — and I couldn’t even tell you how many times they go out and throw, I couldn’t even tell you the answer to that. And I couldn’t tell you who is there and who is not there. I couldn’t even give you the answer to that. We don’t give them anything. They don’t have play books or anything. This isn’t about defending Notre Dame. I don’t know what anyone else does, I just know what we do. And I think that it’s pretty easy to just stick to the plan that everyone has and that’s what you would expect it to have.
And this is the final, correct answer. Chuck doesn’t know because he ain’t there. Why? Because he’s not allowed to be there. RR somehow KNOWS they’re not breaking the rules. Why? Because he’s freaking monitoring things (and therefore breaking the rules! Oh, Sweet Irony!)
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