How the hell did we get here?
We’re not in Kansas anymore. Which is good. I don’t like Kansas. I have hay fever, and it always acts up in Kansas. Plus I don’t understand how those wimps could ever let a place like Missouri lay claim to Kansas City. Still, I’m not familiar with this territory. I just know I don’t like it very much.
I do see some similarities between it and other places I’ve been. When the early settlers swept through America, discovering new lands that no man had ever seen before in the history of time, and settling on those lands because, luckily enough, they weren’t already claimed, they’d name those lands after their homelands or lands that reminded them of these new places. Take “Hell, Michigan” for example. Clearly those settlers once lived in Worcester, Massachusetts. And so, in keeping with that tradition, I’m naming 1-7 with the worst offense I can ever remember seeing, “Gary” after Gary, Indiana – The Worst Place on The Planet Earth.
How much does Gary suck? Well, I just googled “Gary Indiana,” and the first listing on Google is the official website of the City of Gary. So I clicked on it, and this is what I saw…
Gary, Indiana is so bad that people don’t kill themselves there for fear of being buried there. It’s so bad that when the neighboring landfills permeate the air with stench, parents send their kids out to play and get some air. That’s how bad Gary, Indiana is, and that’s exactly where 1-7 with two 38-0 losses puts you.
So how did we get here? Well, in an effort to figure that out, I again consulted google, looking for a map. Here’s what I found…
And so I’m left to figuring it out myself.
- First, start out with a lousy senior class. And I’m throwing 5th year seniors in here as well. These guys are just bad. Yes, yes, Maurice Crum practically won the UCLA game for ND, and Trevor Laws is so good that he ought to at least get some consideration for defensive player of the year, but the rest of the squad has been pathetic. On the 2 key plays that opened the flood gates for the Trojans this weekend, 2 of ND’s 5th year seniors made critical mistakes. Zibby didn’t clear the blockers away from the punt, thus causing the ball to hit Munir Prince in the shoulder, and Travis Thomas fumbled the ball on a screen play on the first offensive series of the 2nd half, killing just about any hope of a comeback.
- Drop off almost all of your best players along the way. It really is incredible to watch this offense and realize that I need to refer to the depth chart on several occasions to put a name to the number on the jersey. This team is no longer Quinn’s, Shark’s, Darius’, or even Rhema’s. And the big problem there is nobody’s stepped up to lay claim.
- Hit a dead end on Spread Offense Lane. Back up, go with a more familiar route.
- Take a right at The Land of No Leadership. Elect a bunch of captains by team vote, realize that of the 2 captains on offense, 1 of them will probably lose his spot to not 1, not 2, but 3 underclassmen. Appoint another “captain.” Watch as he doesn’t do anything to live up to his billing, blames his QB for bad snaps, and continues to get playing time because the coaching staff hasn’t bought into what everyone watching the television knows: Bemenderfer is a god. Meanwhile, take note that when Rocket Ismail gives the most rousing speech at a ND pep rally, the so-called senior leaders of the team almost look embarassed while the youngin’s in the back are up on their feet, practically dancing and wooping it up.
- Take a pitt-stop at Lambert & Wooden’s House of Uncoverage. Sorry, it’s not that I don’t like these guys as people, but it’s not a coincidence that every opponent facing a 3rd a long looks to create a match-up between their best and those 2 guys. I’m sure they’re very nice gentlemen, and if I ever have the opportunity to hire either one, I’ll jump at the chance.
- Take a few wrong turns in coaching. Weis has made mistakes. He really has, but so do a lot of coaches. Even in National Championship years, coaches make mistakes. The thing about this team is that the players aren’t good enough and the schedule isn’t friendly enough to overcome those mistakes. Weis is a first-time head-coach who is learning on the job. And Ara Parseghian tried to warn us all about that once. I’m not off the Charlie Weis band-wagon. I never thought the guy infallible anyway. I had hoped that he’d learned enough in the first 2 years that, when faced with a much different set of challenges this year, he’d end up looking brilliant. That didn’t happen. I’m disappointed, and I’ll also be looking for him to show that he can turn it all around in a big way next year. He’s got next year. He earned that.
- Cross through the toughest schedule in all the land. When the Sagarin Ratings come out tomorrow, I expect the Southern Cal game to put ND on top in terms of the toughest schedule up to this point in the season. Watch for that to plummet the last 4 weeks of the season. Still, this schedule is ridiculous. Georgia Tech, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State, Purdue, UCLA, BC, and Southern Cal. So in the first 8 games, throw in 3 of the “traditional powers” in the game, add 2 teams that always play us extremely hard, toss in another game against a big school in LA that by all rights should be excellent, and then add 2 teams that will look at the ND game as if it were a bowl game. This schedule must have been put together by 1 million monkeys with 1 million computers because no thoughtful person would have compiled it. If only we had an Athletic Director.
And presto! You’re practically there! Just a few more problems and… Welcome to Gary! Doesn’t this place suck!?
Funny thing is, you already knew how we got here, didn’t you? I mean, you’ve been along for the ride. You’ve seen how we got here. Still, some of you in the back keep insisting we took a right where we took a left, and a couple of you can’t seem to remember which way the sun sets.
During the NBC telecast, Pat “I’d Swear OJ Didn’t Do It” Hayden mentioned that John Calrson has pointed out that ND isn’t a good enough team that they can make a lot of mistakes and just recover from them. We saw that in action this weekend. Southern Cal is a good team. Or, I should say, Southern Cal has the ability to be a very good team when they aren’t committing dumb penalties. They stopped shooting themselves in the foot right around the time ND decided to stick a 12-guage under their chin. That punt-ricochet lead to a touchdown on the very next play, and the house of cards Notre Dame called “Confidence” just fell. (By the way, note again that Zibby first didn’t clear his men on the punt, and then he bit and bit hard on the succeeding play for the TD. Not a good game for the Zibbster.) This team knows what it is at this point, and while I wont say that, at that point, they gave up, you have to figure that the confidence almost completely left the ND sidelines.
The program isn’t good enough to defeat missteps in scheduling or gaffes in assistant coaching hires. And the team simply isn’t good enough to absorb mistakes by the coaches. There’s practically nobody on offense with any experienced “savvy” that can make a bad play-call work better than it deserves to, or audible out of a bad situation. The team’s leadership situation isn’t good enough to absorb the mistake of bringing back certain players for 5th years. And the team just isn’t good enough to glaze over any depth-chart mistakes. The team is just not good enough.
With Weis in the driver’s seat, we didn’t expect to end up in Gary. We thought at worst we might have to spend the off-season in Bloomington or the Quad Cities, but not Gary. And we’re pretty unhappy about it. That doesn’t mean I’m in any rush to kick Weis to the curb and get a new driver, but I’d like to see him get us somewhere much more pleasant, say, Santa Monica, by the end of the 2008 season.
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-15 - November 15, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-08 - November 8, 2009
- HLS Tweets for the Week of 2009-11-01 - November 1, 2009
Jim Hu
How do you figure ND will be at #1 on SOS? Washington was #1 last week and ND was #2. Washington lost to Oregon, which Sagarin and everyone else had ranked higher than USC.
Face Mask
Every thing you say here is true domer.With the team loosing heart,no leadership in sight,we just have to sit here and suck on it till next years’team tells the tale.
sir john
WQell after the game and our offense this Blog was the best laugh I had
domer.mq
Jim, you’re right. I’d forgotten that bit. As it stands today, ND has the #2 SOS ranking.
steve callahan
You’re right about the fifth year seniors: they absolutely SUCK ASS. They have no balls at all and they play like girls. Sullivan and Carlson are ‘nice guys’ who get beat down and then smile. Zbikowski and Thomas, for all their talk, in point of fact SUCK ASS and constantly screw up.
Needless to say, I’m a little frustrated. I used to blame Weis. More and more I’m starting to blame these ball-less pansies wearing the uniform. They’re a disgrace to the uniform, throw-back or not.
jack & christa
Regarding something reminiscent to Sir John’s comment 11:08 am , I received a comment from Katie & Dale in regards to this HLS post which I emailed to them: Welcome to Gary.. IN, at 10:43 MDT. They sent a reply: (It sounds like my sister) “Yes, this article is the best laugh since the game.” & I’ll add something: “Maybe if all the catholics get together and decide to pray at the same time, ND will win another game!
John
Brilliant … sheer brilliance. What a great post. Much better than my pitiful effort from this morning, which is why you’re #2 (behind BGS, of course) and I’m a chump. Nothing short of amazing, mq.
domer.mq
Thanks, John. But let’s face it. It’s Marco’s world, and everyone else, even BGS, just gets to live in it.
John
OF COURSE Marco is the best. No, don’t worry about that. I just ASSUMED you understood that I was putting the two of you at #s one and two A.M. (after Marco). What do you think, I’m CRAZY?!
The Biscuit
who the F is Marco?
domer.mq
You don’t know Marco?