September 24, 2007

D’oh. It’s Purdue Week. Thank God Heroes is Back.

It’s bad enough that ND is 0-4 this season.  It’s even worse to know that this is Purdue week - The Most Boring Week In College Football Blogging.

If you guys hear anything that we should know and that we should let other ND fans know about Purdue, please feel free to e-mail us.  We’re digging.  We really are, but Purdue is simply the most boring college football program in the nation, and it’s hard to keep our attention on the task at hand.  I got distracted by some pre-Algebra homework problems earlier when I was trying to pull some facts together about whoever their coach might be.  I think he sells diabetes equipment or something.

This would be a vastly more interesting week if we’d dump Purdue from the schedule and take on a team like, say, ITT Technical Institute.  Do they have a football team?  I often wonder why kids go to play at Purdue.  What, hate the difficulty of playing for a team that people might actually look up in the Sunday papers?  Have a masochistic love of tedium?
Maybe we’ll do a “look back” on what’s happened in the last 4 weeks since, apparently, nothing much will be happening this week.

Whatever.

Hey, did you hear that a mime has died?


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September 13, 2007

So, About Les Miles…


Les is liking his options right now.

With Michigan (sucks!) quickly realizing that this may, in fact, be Llloydd Carr’s last year as head coach of the Skunkbears (and by “may, in fact, be” I mean “is”), a ton of media attention has been poured on Les Miles, head coach of the LSU football program, as Carr’s potential replacement. And after the smart-bomb-on-an-Iraqi-power-plant-like beat down that LSU just put on Virginia Tech last weekend, it seems like some Michigan (sucks!) fans are slobbering all over themselves at the possibility.

So we got to wondering how this makes fans of LSU feel. Afterall, it’s not as though LSU is some mid-major program. Jumping to Michigan (sucks!) from LSU would hardly be a “promotion.” So we decided to ask a few questions of our friends at AndTheValleyShook.com to get their perspective on this situation and a few other things about the HLS Top-25 #1 ranked Tigers.

1) The entire football world seems a little shocked in the way LSU man-handled Virginia Tech. Did you guys think that LSU would be this good all along? Are you buying the hype, or is there more to this? Is VaTech overrated?

Very few rational folks expected the offense to perform the way it did against the Hokies; losing a QB and the top two wideouts AND installing a new offense made it seem like a relatively straightforward bet that it would take the offense awhile to gel. On the other hand, most everyone expected the defense to be stout. This was solidified not long after the Sugar Bowl when Tiger fans learned that both Glenn Dorsey and Bo Pelini would be back this year. While LaRon Landry was a key loss on that side of the ball, our 8 returning starters had pretty much everyone confident that we wouldn’t drop off much, if at all.

Who knows on the overrated-Va-Tech question. I get annoyed when a good team beats another good team and the world emphatically declares the losing team to be “overrated.” Perhaps the losing team was fairly rated and just got their asses beat? By that logic, the 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers made every single team that year look overrated. Ergo, no team was deserving of the #2 ranking. Not that we’re the ‘95 Huskers, or even close, but just using that to illustrate a point. We’ll find out over the next few weeks if Virginia Tech really is as bad as we made them look last Saturday. It’s tough to argue against a defense that compiled the #1 ranking in the country for two consecutive seasons entering this one. But clearly they’ve got some previously overlooked problems at QB that are being addressed.

2) Les Miles seems to be the alpha-candidate in the hearts and minds of Michigan (sucks!) fans everywhere for the position of Head Lloydd Carr Replacer. Are you concerned at this point? Les hasn’t been very committal one way or the other when asked about the potential opportunity. Or has he, but the media is burying it for a story?

I’m not that concerned. I like Les Miles plenty enough, and if you scroll through my blog posts throughout last football season you can see that, but I have to say I’m surprised by the amount his star has risen in the last week. I guess the stars really aligned on that front for Les, with our huge win (now clearly the signature win of his 2+ year tenure) coming in conjunction with the world realizing in stunning fashion that Lloyd Carr is done.

If you’d have polled a group of Tiger fans prior to the season, I guarantee you at least half - and likely far more - would have been indifferent if Les left. I don’t think a single person in the blogosphere considered Miles to be aything more than a complete boob. Everyone’s LSU ranking came with the caveat “would be higher if not for the dude on the sidelines wearing the headset.” Yadda yadda yadda. There is plenty truth to the assertion that we’ve turned in subpar performances in pivotal early season games (Tennessee ‘05, Auburn and Florida ‘06). So that little nagging tidbit left most folks unconvinced on Miles’ true acumen as a head coach.

I personally think Les absolutely leaves LSU for Michigan (assuming the season unfolds such that they still want him by the end of it), and I wouldn’t blame him at all. Michigan is his alma mater. He’s a Bo Schembechler guy, and who WOULDN’T take the opportunity to pay tribute to his hero by following in his footsteps? And how often has that Michigan head spot actually been open during our lifetimes? If he passes on it now, he may never again get the same opportunity. Of course he’ll be noncommittal all season, but that’s out of pure respect to his team and Mr. Carr (who hasn’t officially been axed yet, let’s remember).

The disruption to LSU will be a bummer, but probably an overrated issue when it’s all said and done. Having to name the third head coach since 2004 may seem like a big problem, but LSU would clearly exhibit a polar opposite set of circumstances to the typical program in the midst of such turmoil. Hopefully we’ll be coming off a national title and third-straight 11-win season. More…


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September 10, 2007

There Can Be Only One: The Michigan (sucks!) Perspective

Michigan (sucks!) and Notre Dame have never both had 0-2 records. But after this week there can be only one non-winner. Only one biggest loser.

Despite the vortex-like nature of Michigan (sucks!) and its fan-base, I have managed to know a few fans and/or alumni who are, eh, tolerable. One of them is our resident Michigan (sucks!) fan here at HLS, Deep Tea Kup. Mid-last week, I asked him to write up a preview of the ND/Michigan (sucks!) game from his perspective. So he did, but he reserved the rights to heavy editing if Michigan (sucks!) looked bad against Oregon. So, guess what! Now I’ve got two Michigan (sucks!) perspective previews. So I’ll present his latest and give some background info on his former work if and when he makes any references to it.

Bare with DTK. Not only is he a Michigan (sucks!) fan, he’s also a Canadian living in San Francisco, so, you know, English probably isn’t his medium. More…


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Henne’s Out

Michingan (sucks!)’s supposed Heisman candidate QB, Chad Henne, who could suck apart the chemically bound elements used to make chrome on a Harley, is out for the ND game with an injury, leaving plenty of votes open for the other two Michigan (sucks!) Heisman canditates, Mike “Trying to Avoid Sucking by Keeping His Mouth Moving” Hart and Mario “My Memory isn’t so Short That I’m Gonna Make Up a Mean Nickname about Him Sucking Just Yet Because I Remember Last Year” Manningham. You ask me, he just wanted a moment to breath from all the sucking.

Injured Michigan quarterback Chad Henne will not play against Notre Dame.

Wolverines coach Lloyd Carr did not provide a timetable for Henne’s return, listing him Monday as week-to-week. The senior was knocked out of the second half of Saturday’s 39-7 loss to Oregon.

Freshman Ryan Mallett will start against the Fighting Irish on Saturday at home in a matchup of storied teams with 0-2 records.

“This test will be different than any he’s had,” Carr said. “But I can guarantee you that he’s not intimidated.”

Carr declined to confirm Saturday’s ABC-TV report that Michigan trainer Paul Schmidt said Henne had a lower-leg injury.

The senior struggled in his first 1½ games as the Wolverines opened with two losses at home for the first time since 1959.

Henne was 12-of-23 for 172 yards with a touchdown and an interception, a pass that sailed into double coverage on the opening drive against Oregon. In the opener, he was 19-of-37 for 233 yards with a score and an interception in Appalachian State territory.

Seriously, Chad would destroy this.


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Every Year, on the 4th of July, I Think About Our Forefathers…

And how much Michigan sucks!

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September 9, 2007

Sing It!

Everybody Sucks! (If you’re Michigan (sucks!))

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Everybody, Now!

Say it with me! Say it with the world!

Every nation has ratified U.N. Proposition #1: Michigan Sucks!


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September 5, 2007

PSU Fans To Wear White, Regret All Those Extra Labor Day Hamburgers

State College, PA - Penn State football fans are organizing a “White Out” at Beaver Stadium for the Notre Dame/Penn State football game this Saturday Night.  Overall, the move has been met with enthusiasm, but some Nittany Lion fans are questioning the decision.

“I just don’t see why we couldn’t have a ‘Blue Out.’  It would look just as nice, and blue is much more slimming,” said Penn State Junior Tammy Faye Waldrup.  “White’s just not very flattering.  And I feel so bloated after all those fried cheese doodles on Monday.  At least my tan should look pretty good with the white shirt.”

Penn State’s head coach, Joe Paterno, thinks it’s a wonderful idea.

“I’m thrilled,” said Paterno. “It’ll remind me of back in the day, before color was invented.  All you could wear was black, white, or gray.  Things were so much simpler back then.  This could really take me back, boy.  Hey, anybody else want a sarsaparilla?”


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