July 31, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #12 - Cal

domer.mq

Head Coach Jeff Tedford has taken Cal and absolutely splattered them all over the national college football scene. There’s just no way you can ignore them anymore. Not while Tedford keeps doing what he’s doing.

Tedford has lead Cal to a string of 4 bowl games in a row. It’s the first time Cal has ever been to 4 straight bowl games, and it sure looks like they’ll add to that record for at least the next few years. So long as they can keep Tedford a) happy and b) employed at Cal. The guy’s a big name on a lot of coaching search lists. Cal locked him up with a 5 year contract in 2004, but every contract has buy-outs. Cal seems eager to keep the coach, but if he keeps this up, they may not be able to afford him one day.

Anyway, until then, Tedford’s going to keep creating prolific offenses at Cal, and this year should be no exception.

Offense: They lose the awesome Marshawn Lynch at running back, but whoever replaces him should have a relatively unstacked defense to contend with as Cal returns veteran QB Nate Longshore and their top 3 wide receivers. They’re going to put up points. They do have a new guy under the title of “OC,” but I’m not sure that matters as long as Tedford is around.

Defense: And they’ll need those points, because the defense returns only 5 starters, and of the 6 losses, 3 of them were #1, #2, and #3 in tackles in 2006. That’s called losing your core. That’s pretty tough. Still, the coaching staff has a bit of a reputation of coaching up young talent quickly, so they may be okay.

Special Teams: Excellent kicking specialists. But they do lose Lynch here as well, so they’ll need to do some reworking on their return units.

Facts:

  • Tedford was PAC10 COY in his first season at Cal and again in 2004.
  • Tedford’s first 3 years are considered the best years in Cal football since the 1950s.
  • Former player DeSean Jackson won the first ever Randy Moss Returnman Trophy. Can you believe they still name that thing after Randy Moss?

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 11
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 14
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 12.75

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • The Northeast half of California Memorial Stadium is actually shifting to the Southwest at a rate of 1 cm/yr because the stadium sits atop a fault line called “The Hayward Fault.” (source) Note to self: Don’t attend any Cal games until after “The Big One.”

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Says:

I’m looking for these guys to make some real noise in the PAC 10. And, by default, if they do that, that means threatening SoCal. And that means making a big splash on the national scene. I wouldn’t be surprised to find them in the top 8 at the end of the year, but probably not as high as the top 3.


Somewhat related posts...

July 30, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #13 - Georgia

domer.mq

Of all the teams in the country that I’d really like to see Notre Dame play in the near future, Georgia is probably #1. Not because I hold any animosity towards them, but because they’re a bit of a curiosity to me. They’re Georgia, and for a guy like me who had a childhood like mine, that means they’re good. And that they’re always going to be good. So if that hold true, and, clearly, all anecdotal evidence from my childhood holds true, then I’d like to see Notre Dame, when we’re really good, say, 2008 or 2009, play Georgia. Besides, how often have you ever seen Georgia above the Mason Dixon? Answer: Never. Why? Because, yep, they’re still pissed about Lincoln.

Last year they went 9-4 and finished #23 in the AP poll. Their struggles were largely due to the fact that they had only 9 returning starters in 2006, and none of them played QB. As a result, they made Colorado look formidable and managed to lose to Vanderbilt. They also got creamed by Tennessee. Despite that, they made a bowl game (where they beat VaTech) and managed to destroy Auburn late in the year (which, of course, earns them points with God). This year, things look up, as they get 11 starters back (ok, maybe that’s not a ton better than 9), including a more seasoned Matt “Howitzer” Stafford at QB.

Offense: This crowd usually fields a very good offensive line, and that should be the case again here, but they’re also utilizing a new Offensive Line coach, so color me skeptical. Stafford is a real talent, but I reserve my judgment until he starts to show how good his own judgment can be.

Defense: Only 4 returning starters here could make things interesting. The offense was so, uh, “difficult” last year that these guys essentially had to win a lot of games. This year, the roster is full of really talented guys, but some inexperience will cost them.

Special Teams: Excellent. Very good kicking specialists, and one of the most consistently great punt return units of the last, eh, 5 years or so.

Facts:

  • Georgia is 25-2 in non-conference games since Richt took over, and the two losses came in bowl games. This year, Georgia opens up with Oklahoma State.
  • Herschel Walker had five-thousand two-hundred and fifty-nine freaking yards rushing during his rather short career at Georgia.
  • Georgia has one consensus national championship (1980).

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 9
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 16
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 12.75

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • The famous “hedges” that the Bulldogs play between in all of their home games initially served as crowd controlling borders between fans and players.

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Ask again later. This is a tough one to call. Mark Richt certainly seems to know a thing or two about coaching a football team, and lord knows this squad has a ton of talent on the roster, but the lack of experience is bound to be exploited by somebody, especially in the SEC, where old football coaches like to make young men look really stupid utilizing something like the jump pass, or, perhaps, an old pee-wee football favorite like this…


Somewhat related posts...

July 25, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #14 - Ohio State

domer.mq

From ESPN’s declaration that Troy Smith was God’s gift to football, to Ted Ginn Sr. actually entering the national college football fan consciousness, to Sweatervest McCheatypant’s efforts to look like some sort of father figure, and, of course, their fan base’s ability to remind one of the scene with all the locusts from Exorcist, there is perhaps no team in the Top 25 that earns more scorn than Ohio State.

This year they must replace the man, the myth, the legend: Troy Smith. How this will be done is anyone’s guess. How do you replace a deity? They also have to replace 5 other guys on offense that weren’t made into golden gods. So don’t expect them to continue an offensive production of about 30+ points a game from last year. No. I expect a much more Krenzelian performance from this year’s Ohio State offense.

Offense: Smith is gone. So are their 2 top wide receivers, and their top rusher. Plus they lost about half of their starting experience on the O-Line. Good luck.

Defense: Then again, maybe they don’t need luck. Maybe they’ll just win a lot of games 3-0. And they could, because of their defense. Last year, everyone was talking about how on earth they were going to manage with just 2 returning starters. They managed just fine, allowing a pretty awesome 12.8 points per game. This year, they get back 6 starters. I wonder if they can average fewer than 10. If they manage to stay away from Florida, probably.

Special Teams: No more Ted “Sidelines!” Ginn, Jr. He’s off reviving the Miami Dolphins franchise. There goes the NCAA record 8 TD returns. They do get all their kicking specialists back, and they’re all pretty good.

Facts:

  • Ohio State and Youngstown State will meet for the first time this year. It was Cheaty’s idea. Way to go after that 1AA blood, guys!
  • That defensive average of allowing just 12.8 points per game includes the last 2 games where Ohio State gave up 80 points total.
  • Andy Katzenmoyer, winner of the 1997 Butkus Award, is no longer a pro football player and is still working on his degree from Ohio State. I wonder if he’s passed golf.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 10
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 20
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 13

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

This is a rebuilding year for the Bucks, but I don’t think it’ll be too much of a downer. Any time you’ve got pretty good special teams and excellent defense, you’ve got a shot. No matter how much I hope God eventually smites Cheatypants, I don’t think we’ll see them under 9 wins for the season, but I’m not convinced they win the Big 10. Their offensive problems, coupled with some capability on the parts of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Penn State might prevent that.


Somewhat related posts...

July 24, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #15 - Auburn

domer.mq

Having never met anything about which he would not whine and complain, Tummy Tuberville has had himself quite a career. Whether it’s moaning about the BCS, or just how gosh darn hard the over-hyped SEC may be, Tommy always finds a way to play victim despite having won 5 of the last 7 SEC West championships. (Note to Tommy: That doesn’t sound like a very balanced division.)

This year may be different. And while we probably ranked Auburn this high on mostly reputation, it looks like there’s a 50/50 chance that Auburn’s domination of the SEC West could come to a bit of an end as they look to have just 12 returning starters, including probably the least experienced offensive line in Tommy’s tenure. They also find themselves playing at Florida, LSU, and Georgia this year - a bit trickier than last year’s set-up, thru which they went 11-2.

Offense: Brandon Cox figures to start at QB this year, as he did last, but to say the guy is injury prone is an understatement. A career 59% passer, Cox is still trying to fill Jason Cambell’s big shoes. They have a bevy of talent at RB (as they almost always do), and a talented, though not easily recognized, squad at receiver.

Defense: Keep an eye out for a guy named Quentin Groves. He’s just 4 short of the Auburn all-time career sacks record. Still, despite some real talent on this squad, they need to shore up their rushing defense a bit, looking particularly week in 2006.

Special Teams: A BIG question mark. In sum, they must replace a kicker that had 51 touchbacks in 66 kick-offs, a punter with a 45.7 yard average, and a place kicker that hit 20 of 24 with a long of 55 last season. Watch these stats closely this year.

Facts:

  • The Tigers return 5 starters on offense and 7 on defense.
  • They barely beat Nebraska in the Cotton bowl last year (score: 17-14)
  • Last year, they won 5 games by a TD or less.
  • In 2006, the Tigers beat National Champs Florida 27-17, but lost to unranked Georgia 15-37

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 12
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 20
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 15.5

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • Auburn University is the first land grant colleg in “the South.”

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Expect a lot of whining. A lot. Having to play LSU, Florida, and Georgia all on the road is the perfect storm for the sort of person like Tommy Tuberville. There’s no denying that those 3 teams are and should be quite good, but, ya know what, Tommy, a lot of teams not named Michigan have to play tough teams during the season. We can’t all schedule Akron. I doubt Tommy can win another SEC West championship this year, unless that “enormous parity” in the division spells out a lot of teams beating each other in poorly played football games.


Somewhat related posts...

July 23, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #16 - Louisville

domer.mq

Louisville first came onto my radar (and I’m sure many others) back when they became “the little team that almost beat Miami” back when Miami was still in the Big East, and it actually sorta meant something to be able to beat Miami.

Much of the buzz behind this program was courtesy of their very own “mad scientist” head coach, Bobby Petrino. And when Bobby decided to move up in the world, and work on solving the Michael Vick as a NFL QB conundrum (interesting solution, Bobby), the team seemed to take a hit in the glam department. There were even rumors that highly talented QB Brian Brohm would split for the NFL because of this development. But new HC, Steve Kragthorpe, took a page right out of the Arkansas HR management playbook, and stemmed the tide of NFL defections by hiring Brian’s brother Jeff as his co-OC (read: Not really calling plays. At least, not on his own.).

Offense: They get 8 starters back, most importantly Brohm. The way the offense ran last year, if the new coaching staff just “don’t fix what ain’t broke,” this squad should have no problem putting up points. They do, however, lose Michael Bush (out most of last year with injury).

Defense: They were surprisingly good last year, despite their Big East reputation, giving up fewer than 17 per game. They get only 6 starters back from that squad, however.

Special Teams: They’ve got a kicker that recorded 21 touchbacks last year. I’m not sure ND’s had that many TBs in the last decade. They also get a new ST coach, Mark Nelson, with an excellen ST reputation.

Facts:

  • Louisville went 12-1 last year. And, had they not essentially choked against Rutgers, would probably have faced what was an apparently “flat” Ohio State in the National Championship Game.
  • Their kicker, Carmody, hasn’t missed a place kick since the 3rd game of 2006.
  • When Bobby Petrino took over the HC job at Louisville, he had no HC experience. And neither of his coordinators had any coordinating experience.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 13
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 23
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 16.25

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • An estimated 98,000 cars pass by Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium every day on I-65.

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Says:

Remember when The Raiders made it to the Superbowl despite Nebraska’s current Head Coach taking over for Gruden(!)? I sort of think that could be the same type of thing that happens here. The new HC, Kragthorpe certainly seemed capable in his previous job at Memphis Tulsa, and if he’s smart enough to just let the well-oiled machine keep on churning for a year before he starts too much tinkering, they could very well burn thru the Big East and lay claim to an NC Bid, a BCS bid at the least.


Somewhat related posts...

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #17 - Penn State

domer.mq

The Daywalker, has seen many things over the millenia. And he’s known among many cultures. In Eastern Europe, he was known as “Drago.” In South America, “The Great Bat.” And in the United States, he’s gone by the name “Joe Paterno” since well before Thomas Jefferson began making bold claims about man and their equality.

Today, Joe Paterno rules over a valley in Pennsylvania with an iron fist. But he’s a crafty one, and of late he’s been making sure that everyone start to wonder if maybe his grip is slipping, and he’s becoming a bit senile. For he must find a way to slip from the limelight long enough to take on a new guise and a new moniker, and he can’t do that if people really believe he’s still actually coaching the Penn State Football Team. Molting season is approaching. He must walk a tricky line to keep up illusions.

Angry Joe Pa

Still, while the Daywalker may outlive the legacy of “Joe Paterno,” it doesn’t mean the man has no pride in his work. He will continue to put just as much work into defeating his opponents on a football field as he once did placing the corpses of his enemies on pikes the height of 3 men so many years ago.

This year, all the pieces fall together for Penn State, as their QB, Morelli, will either prove that last year’s difficulties were all just because he was a freshman, or that he’s the dumbest QB in the Big Televen. Sit there for a moment and consider that possibility. Let it sink in.

Offense: As stated above, Anthony Morelli is back. And towards the end of the season, we started to get an inkling that he may just catch on to this game called college football well enough for his physical abilities to pay dividends. And they’d better, because last year he was a 54% passer with an 11-8 TD/INT ratio. While their receiving corps looks quite talented on paper, if their top-3 don’t shake their case of butterfingers real quick, they’re gonna have problmes.

Defense: They lose Paul Posluszny, but that may actually have happened last year with his injury troubles, so the jury is still out on how much his actual physical presence was missed. Don’t get me wrong, he was still better at, say, 80%, than most ever would be at 100%, but he was still never actually at the top of his game last year. Dan Connor remains, though he’s moving from OLB to MLB. The transition may take some time for Dan to grow accustom, but he’s still Dan Connor.

Special Teams: Hey, remember when Travis Thomas noticed something about Penn State’s punt return alignment, audibled for a fake punt, and then nearly took the ball to the house from about 50 yards out? Yeah, me too. That was great.

Facts:

  • The Nits return 14 starters this year (8 on O, 6 on D).
  • Jeremy Kapinos, their punter last year, set a school record for “most career punts” in 2006. A dubious honor, to be sure.
  • Joe Paterno is #2 in the 1A All-Time career wins, losing, inevitably, to Bobby Bowden.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 14
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 18
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 16.75

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • A “Nitanny Lion” is actually a regular old mountain lion that would inhabit a region of Pennsylvania known as Nittany Valley.

Around The Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Says:

The memory of the Daywalker is long, and his heart is black and cold. Nothing would please him more than to see his Enemies crushed, especially Notre Dame. That game worries and intrigues us a bit. We’ll be the ones with the green QB this go ’round, but we still hold faith that the forces of good will beat out the forces of evil that keep the Daywalker among us. However, with an insanely easy road schedule (only one game against what will probably be a ranked opponent this year (Michigan)), look for the Nits to do some damage in the Big 10.


Somewhat related posts...

July 17, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #18 - Tennessee

domer.mq

Ok. Let’s try this again. I just tried to write this all up once, and my computer went all Ed Orgeron on me and I couldn’t save the text before it was too late…

When I think of Tennessee, I think of the 2005 Notre Dame/Tennessee game when Tennessee was thoroughly beaten and it seemed quite clear the beating was mostly at the hands of the ND coaching staff more so than at the hands of superior talent on ND’s side of the ball. That sort of performance, coupled with the fact that Tennessee hasn’t been in real contention for a NC in a while, plus the fact that Tennessee’s hated rival, Florida, has won a National Championship in the last year, is probably why Phil Fulmer finds himself on the hot-seat right alongside coaching luminaries like Ty Willingham and Ed Orgeron.

But last year really wasn’t “that bad,” despite an ugly loss to Penn State in their bowl game. They went 9-4 last year, while darn near beating LSU and Florida (both at home) and scoring 51 at Georgia. And new Offensive Coordinator David Cutcliffe, formerly ND’s short-lived QB coach, showed that this Vols squad has abitily and potential that can and should be mined. Meanwhile, the defensive side of the ball continues to look excellent.

Offense: Erik Ainge is still there at QB. Hey, lots of people go to school for 7 years. But they do lose their top 3 wide receivers while getting a lot more health and depth at running back.

Defense: A very solid group at linebacker, a pretty darn experience group at DL, and quite a bit of talent at DB, there’s not a ton of reason to expect anything but a solid defensive unit. The Vol’s DC has been doing this for 13 years, and he’s got a pretty solid track record.

Special Teams: Speed to burn, but they lose arguably the best kicker in the conference to graduation. And, frankly, they’ve had speed to burn the last few years, but I can’t remember any “household” names coming out of the return squads of Tennessee for quite a long time.
Facts:

  • The Vols only return 11 starters this year (6 O, 5 D).
  • Fulmer only has a 7 and 7 bowl record despite having a 77% lifetime winning percentage.
  • A search on the Dunkin Donuts website reveals that Knoxville has only 1 Dunkin Donuts franchise. Fulmer is very aware of this. Krispy Creme boasts 2 Knoxville locations.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 11
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: 21
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 17

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • The lyrics to the Ballad of Davey Crockett, about Davey Crockett, who led the militia after which the Tennessee football team is named, is one of the most common Mondegreens in American Music.

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Tennessee reminds me a lot of Boston College, but better. I don’t really think they’ll break thru in the SEC. I think they’ll be stuck in Plateau-ville this year. They’ll lose to LSU and Florida, probably, and possibly Cal, but those 3 teams should be so good that everyone will say, “yeah, but…” and then keep them ranked in the middle of the pack of their top 25 polls. Meanwhile things will move from a lite sauté to more of a fry for ole’ Phil. I don’t think he’s getting the axe this year, but next year he’d better set the world on fire, or he’s toast.


Somewhat related posts...

July 5, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #20 - Oregon State

domer.mq

The first thing I thought when I realized that the HLSTNHT25-PE had The University of Oregon With Fewer Uniforms Than The Other One ranked number 20 is that we, the Loyal Sons, are still wincing from the painful memories of 2 spankings applied to the rear of the Notre Dame football program by the Beavers. The first, of course, came in the form of the 2000 Fiesta Bowl. I attended that bowl. It was easy to do so b/c it seemed like almost no other ND fan did. It was pretty much just me, the teams, 60,000 OSU supporters, and their 120,000 “boomsticks” or whatever the hell you call those damned inflatable noise sticks.

Boomstick

The 2000 Fiesta Bowl: Made Me Want To Use My Boomstick.

The second spanking, of course, was in a much more low-light setting: The 2004 Insight.com bowl. Know what else is usually in a low-light setting? Amateur porn. I don’t know what that’s got to do with anything, but I can tell you that both are pretty ugly and make me feel ill, so…

Back to the matter at hand: The Beavers. Having gone 10-4 last year, and now getting back 16 starters (the most the Beav has had since 1998), Coach Mike Riley looks poised to do some damage in 2007. One small problem though: They’ve got to replace their starting QB. Still, the team’s veterans should be able to balance out too much inexperience, considering they return 8 starters on each side of the ball.

Offense: Like I said, they’ve got to find a new starter at QB. Frankly, none of their skill guys are even that recognizable, but they do return 8 of their top 10 offensive linemen, so the skill guys should be pretty well protected while they figure out how to become a cohesive unit.

Defense: This group should be pretty solid. The defensive line looks to be pretty darn good. Since 2002, OSU has had 5 linebackers get drafted. That’s pretty impressive, and this year that talent looks to shine as they get back their entire 2-deep from 2006.

Special Teams: For the last few years, the Special Teams of OSU have been really, really good. So good, in fact, that Dallas went and poached the Special Teams coach. So now they get all their Special Teams starters back, but will be coached by someone else. And, frankly, Special Teams is all about attitude, and the attitude is established by the coach. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Facts:

  • This is the 7th year at OSU for Head Coach Mike Riley. Oddly, it’s also his 2nd tenure at OSU. He first coached their from 1997-98, and came back in 2003.
  • OSU’s all-time bowl record in 6-4. Before 2000, it was 2-3.
  • Until 1999, the Beavers enjoyed a streak of 28 losing seasons.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS ballot: 19th
  • Lowest spot on a HLS ballot: Not Ranked
  • Average rankings on HLS ballots: 21.25

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • The Oregon State Flag actually features the OSU mascot, a Beaver, on one side.

Around The Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Prediction: Apathy. What’s going to happen to OSU, unless they really light a fire and beat Southern Cal and UCLA, is they’ll be forgotten. If that does happen, which it wont, then they could be a nice, solid top-25 team, but nothing more, really. 50-50 they’ll just fall out of the top-25 as their new QB learns the ropes.


Somewhat related posts...

June 25, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #21 - TCU

domer.mq

Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then look up at the stars tonight and try to convince yourself that everything up there is bigger than everything down here.  Even this…

It seems weird to be putting a MWC team in here.  Seems even weirder to put a team that’s been in 4 different conferences in 10 years in here.  Despite that inconsistency, the Horned Frogs are a very consistent team in terms of quality.  At least recently.  They’ve managed a seemingly incredible 5 top 25 finishes in the last 7 seasons.  It’s as if they’ve always been around and we’re just now starting to notice.  A look at their schedule doesn’t make you gasp in awe at their audacity - to either schedule an incredibly tough schedule or one full of cupcake games - at least not for a “mid major” team.  They’re just a nice solid team with some very nice circumstances this year, despite having to replace more than half of their offensive starters.

Their head coach, Gary Patterson, is a fairly popular name every time the end-of-season coaching carousel gets spinning.  So much so that the Horned Frogs had to buy themselves a bit of insurance in the form of a $1 million/year contract a year or two ago.  So long as they keep a bigger program from poaching Patterson, I think TCU has a pretty good chance at continuing their solid trend of the last half-decade.

Offense: Like we said above, they’re going to have to replace 6 offensive starters this year.  That could get rough.   Their new QB is on the wrong side of a career 60% completion rate, and they lost their best wide receiver this year.  They do get most of their offensive line back, which is nice, considering they gave up fewer sacks than anyone else in their conference in 2006 (along with gaining 4.5 ypc rushing).

Defense: They return 9 starters on a squad that only gave up a little over 12 points per game last year and haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher for 20 consecutive games.  A capable defense like that will make any team capable of winning on any given Saturday.

Special Teams: Pretty bland right now, but HC Patterson has a reputation for fielding excellent special teams units.  They’ve lost several key guys this year, but Patterson is apparently capable of coaching this unit up, so look for a strong unit rather than a liability.

Facts:

  • Dennis Franchione preceded Gary Patterson at TCU.  We’re wondering if Texas A&M is sure they got the better deal over TCU.
  • LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for more than 4000 yards at TCU during his last 2 years, but he doesn’t hold the freshman rushing record.  That belongs to some guy named Lonta Hobbs.
  • TCU has won 11 games 3 times in the last 4 seasons.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS ballot: 19th
  • Lowest spot on a HLS ballot: 25th
  • Average rankings on HLS ballots: 21.75
  • This is the first team on our HLSTNHT25-PE Countdown to receive a vote from all HLS pollsters.

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • TCU’s 11 wins were the most by any D1 college football program in the state of Texas during the 2006 season.

Around The Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Looking at the conference, and the TCU schedule, as long as they can figure out how to reinstall half their offense, they’ll be fine.  Heck, who knows, maybe they’ll even jump on an unsuspecting Texas during week 2.  Right?  Right.  Otherwise, not a single team on their schedule looks really primed to ruin this little 11 win season trend they seem to be enjoying.


Somewhat related posts...

June 24, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #22 - Boston Freaking College

domer.mq

Editor’s Note: I. AM. A. FREAKING. MORON. But none of you actually read this site on Sundays anyway, so you didn’t see my previous gaff on the ranking numbers. Suckers!

Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then toast those who were wise enough to procreate and spawn the creators of this…

Yeah. I know. I know! First we kick you in the gnads by ranking our and your beloved Irish at #23, and then while you’re laying there, stunned, we give you atomic purple nurples, backwash in your slurpee, and steal your girlfriend by ranking Boston Freaking College at #22. Death threats may be sent along to the address at the right.

Anyway, here’s the deal: it’s not that we expect BC to do anything this season. In fact, we expect their #22 ranking will be the highlight of their entire season. If there were a “Plateau Team Of The Year” award, we’d just go ahead and give it to the Eagles today. They return 16 starters this season (9 on a pretty darn nice looking defense), so losing their head coach to North Carolina State may not be too disruptive. This team is on a streak of 3 9+ win seasons, not to mention the NCAA’s best current streak of 9 straight bowl wins. They also play in the ACC, and, frankly, who the hell in that league besides VaTech and Miami will get in their way this year to a #2 ranking in the league? (Hint: Wake Forest didn’t even get a vote in our polls) Georgia Tech, maybe, but, let’s face it, it wasn’t all Reggie Ball’s fault.

Here’s the wild-card between a season that’ll just make me roll my eyes at BC’s good fortune for playing in a conference that might make the Big East look like a power and my feasting upon the misery of delusional BC grads everywhere as they suffer the trials and tribulations of a 3-10 season: Jeff “Just Call Me JAG, Like That Military Court Room Drama With The Hottie Marine Lawyer Chick” Jagodzinski. Let’s face it, the only people on the planet surprised to see Tom O’Brien take a higher profile job (haha!) at NC State last year were all affiliated with Boston College. So it also came as almost no surprise that BC ended up settling for a replacement who even professional analysts had to google and then re-google with the correct spelling once an intern could dig it up. Most of the NFL wouldn’t have even guessed that the Packers had an Offensive Coordinator. So how the hell did BC find him? Was he under a rock the BC admin picked up while looking for Gary Barnett?

Offense: With the return of 1st Team ACC QB Matt Ryan (presumably without any ankle issues this year), they should have some decent leadership, but I also just read in Phil Steele that JAG is having his offensive line learn a brand new blocking scheme this year. Uh-oh. Why did we rank these guys in the top 25 again?

Defense: Oh. Yeah. Because they get back 9 starters from a defense that only gave up 15.7 a game last year. They’ve got 6 guys who’ve started at linebacker returning. Let’s just say we tend to think defense is important to this game of football, and by mid-season these guys will probably be looking pretty good.

Special Teams: Well, since it doesn’t look like the hex I placed on all past, present, and future kickers at BC a little over a decade ago ever took, we guess they must have someone playing the position this year. In fact, it may be a kid who played his first football game of any kind ever, ever, ever last year. I’m not sure, and I don’t think I’ll look it up because it’s B Freaking C, so who really cares, right?

Facts:

  • JAG spent exactly 1 year as the offensive coordinator at Greenbay. And we’re guessing Favre had a lot more to say about the offense than he did. Before that 1 banner year, JAG was the TE Coach.
  • The ACC are a bunch of Thursday Night Football whores. This season marks the 3rd straight BC/VaTech Thursday Night Match Up. It’s Must See TV if there are no local High School JV games in your ‘hood.
  • If you moved BC to the midwest, people would call them Purdue.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS ballot: 16th
  • Lowest spot on a HLS ballot: Not Ranked
  • Average rankings on HLS ballots: 22

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • There are a lot of really good schools near Boston College.

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Look for Mark May and his ilk to be talking these kids up during the early part of the season. By October 13th, they’ll be claiming that JAG is the second coming of Charlie Weis. And then Notre Dame will kick their tails right out of Notre Dame stadium and into Granger, and they’ll just never recover from that point on. By the time I write up the final HLS Poll results for the offseason, we’ll have forgotten so much about BC that we’ll have to be reminded that O’Brien took that better job in North Carolina.


Somewhat related posts...

June 21, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #23 - The University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish

domer.mq

I so don’t want to write this. This is actually my 4th 5th 6th attempt. The first one started off with how shocked I was to awaken and realize that we ranked Notre Dame so low. On Sunday morning. It’s damn near Wednesday Thursday, and I’m still struggling with it. See, when we did the poll, we made sure to try and remove our homer hats for a day and use our thinking caps instead. And this is what it got us. Her “Loyal” Sons turns it’s back on Our Mother and barely even ranks their beloved Fighting Irish in the top 25.

Now, to be fair, I think the one thing that sticks out in everyone’s mind here is how young this team is. Talented, yes, but young. And when you couple that with the brutal start to the 2007 schedule, it’s hard to have many rational feelings that this team will be a top team. For my own part in the poll, I judged teams based on how well I expected them to be playing by mid-season. And I fully expect this young, talented team to improve as the year goes on, but I expect it to be a very tough learning experience at the start. And then we’ll see improvement by leaps and bounds during the 2nd half of the year when the 2007 Irish can take a lot of the lesson they learned in the hard-knock first half of the season and use them to absolutely slaughter some lesser teams in the latter, admittedly easier part of the schedule.

Don’t get me wrong, as a “Loyal Son” I fully anticipate some miracles - some luck of the Irish - in the first part of the season, but my rational brain keeps yelling at me, “Fewest number of returning starters since 1994!” Remember how that year turned out? In fact, the Irish return just 9 starters from last year. That’s 4 on offense and 5 on defense. And, oh yeah, 2 of those people that aren’t returning are named Brady Quinn and Jeff, um, Shark.

We’ve seen how Charlie can take a bunch of, well, losers and convert them into a team that, at the very least, is dangerous enough to win on any given Saturday. (We’d say he turned them into “contenders,” but the last 2 BCS bowl games, where we ran into some truly elite talent, would beg to differ.) But those lovable losers (minus the previous coaching staff, of course) were relatively experienced. Quinn already had nearly 2 full seasons under his belt as a starter (if nothing else he learned how fast defensive ends can sack him at this level), the offensive line was fairly experienced, etc, etc, etc… Now we get to see what happens when Charlie has a fair amount of talent (a roster most of our opponents would love to have), but very young talent. One thing is for sure, the phrase, “The Best Players Play,” will be a fact, not just a mantra for this edition of the Fighting Irish. They have to play. There’s nobody left.

Charlie has said that, without Brady Quinn, Notre Dame would have been a .500 ball club. Well, now Notre Dame is without Quinn, but we don’t really think they’ll slump to .500 status. Otherwise they probably wouldn’t have been in the ranking at all (I’m looking at you, HLS Pollster who didn’t even rank them.). With Charlie at the helm, and a newly invigorated defense under Corwin “Spark Plug” Brown, we expect that the team will be “coached up” over the course of the season and may even provide some big thrills against opponents like Penn State and Michigan (who only return 10 starters themselves, including only 4 from last year’s nasty defense). We also have almost no idea what the 2007 Irish will look like. Aside from the occasional Zbikowski or Carlson, few players on the depth chart are truly “dug in.” Corwin Brown will be debuting a totally new defensive look with the 3-4 scheme, and Weis gets to go all mad scientist on us, if he chooses, with “x-factors” like Demetrius Jones at QB.

Let’s take a look at each side of the ball…

Offense: We have no clue who will start at QB. It seems quite clear that Clausen is expected to be ready for summer practices, but the “small procedure” he had done on his elbow will probably limit his conditioning this summer. Jones and Sharpley have both, apparently, made solid bids for the top spot, and, really, who’s to say that this depth chart will be written in stone at any point in the season? Jones is apparently the “play maker” of the group, and given Charlie’s propensity for “educated gambling,” we’ve got to wonder how much Charlie loves the idea of getting “DD” on the field as often as possible. Meanwhile the running back and receiver positions are both full of talent, but we don’t know who will establish themselves as leaders of either pack. Travis Thomas will certainly provide leadership and probably has the best grasp of Weis’ overall philosophy at this point, but some of the younger guys have talent that will just boggle the minds of those who haven’t been paying attention to this point. The offensive line is very young. It’ll be lead by John Sullivan at center who is the only senior on the line. We continue to look forward to what Sam Young can really do when he’s unleashed on opponents (especially after some really pretty down-field blocking during brief, successful campaigns against LSU in last year’s bowl). John Carlson, of course, is coming back, and that’s vital. Even if opposing defenses want to “key in” on Carlson, it’s darn near impossible. He creates serious match-up problem just against base defenses. Start tinkering to take him out of the equation, and you give the young talent at other positions a much easier path to success.

Defense: Clueless. Not them, us (Now that Minter is gone). We know what a 3-4 is supposed to look like. We know Corwin Brown’s pedigree. We do know that this squad will look a lot more aggressive than last year’s version. Let’s restate that: We know that this group will now probably blitz on just about every single down. What we don’t really know is who will play at what position. Maurice Crum has a hell of a nose for the ball. We can’t wait to see him loosed upon opponents. And a newly stream-lined Zbikowski is expected to perform as possibly the nation’s best safety, so long as the scheme truly lets him “just play” and stops forcing him to think and then react (and then chase from behind). The only thing I know for certain is that there will be times this season when some ND fan somewhere will complain over the exact opposite issue that they were complaining about last year. This year ND will get caught “being too aggressive.” But personally, I’d rather die trying.

Special Teams: Ugh. 2 questions continue to drive us insane here: 1) Why can’t any Irish kicker in the last, I dunno, 10 years, consistently kick the ball into the end zone? 2) When will a 30 yard field goal feel like a gimme to the Irish? The latter question probably worries me the most as I think Charlie may be able to put this squad in a position to win some games against top competition, but the kicking game needs to be there for precious point-scoring opportunities from just beyond the red zone. Punting should be pretty good this year, and with a healthy Zibby, so too shall punt returning. I’m also hoping for at least one ridiculous ESPN pun involving Notre Dame, a kickoff return for a TD, and a kid named “Golden.”

Facts:

  • Notre Dame has brought in consecutive top-10 recruiting classes in 2006 and 2007 (#8 in both years). In 2004 and 2005, Notre Dame didn’t even rank in the top 25 (rivals.com).
  • The position-group with the most “experience” anywhere on the field is probably the defensive secondary, returning Zibby, Lambert, and Wooden.
  • EDITED - I was wrong.  We play 8 2006 bowl teams in 2007.  I was whacked out on goof balls when I was writing this before.
  • Corwin Brown’s nickname while a player at Michigan was “Cornflakes.”

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS ballot: 20th
  • Lowest spot on a HLS ballot: Not Ranked
  • Average rankings on HLS ballots: 22.75

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • 7.5 tons of leaves are collected from the grounds of Notre Dame every year (source).

I’m not thrilled with this write-up. My heart’s just not in it. I want to scream from the top of the highest tower that the Irish are the greatest football program ever, and no ridiculous thing like “rationale” is going to change that, but, for now, I’ve got to try and stick with the facts. It’s about 10am here. I think I’ll go drown myself in Guiness until I can’t feel what I’m feeling now: dirty.


Somewhat related posts...

June 14, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #24 - Texas A&M

domer.mq

Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then praise the Lord for the gift of the wondrous analysis below…

You all may remember last year’s Texas A&M team because they managed to make Army look scary. They managed to win that game, but only because Army played stupidly in the 4th quarter. Still, the team was much improved, by the numbers over the previous few years. For one thing, the “Wrecking Crew” earned the right to even hear that term again by allowing only 17.8 points per game. Good thing too, because their offense was only earning 27.8 points per game. Seemingly not bad, sure, until you see that they scored 35, 51, and 45 against The Citadel, Louisiana-Lafayette, and Louisiana Tech respectively. All in total blow-outs. Way to pad the stats.

The Aggies played only 3 ranked teams in the regular season last year, going 2-1, and their 2 wins were against sub-top-15 teams (Texas was actually ranked #11 at the time, but their starting QB was either out of the game, or still recovering from big time neck injuries. I can’t remember which, and I’m not paid for this, so…). Anyway, this wasn’t exactly a juggernaut team. And while they will have more experience on the offensive side with 9 returning starters, they need to replace 5 members of that much improved defense in 2007.

One quick look at their 2006 schedule, and you realize that they didn’t exactly run a gauntlet on their way to the Big 12 season. This team simply beat up on bad teams (The Citadel, anyone?), and then “found a way to win” against better competition. Yeah, they beat Texas, but, like we said above, it was a hobbled Texas. And they took Oklahoma to the wire, but it was an “off” year for a Bob Stoops Oklahoma team. If Texas A&M were a girl, she’d be a nice, solid, 7.5.

Offense: One wonders if the fact that Stephen McGee threw for a total of 121 yards against Texas and Oklahoma was b/c of Stephen or the coaching staff. In fact, when it comes to the offense, I find myself asking a lot of those sorts of questions. Still, McGee passed for 62% and a 12-2 TD/Int ratio. Oh, and he can run. They do have one “look out” type player in Martellus Bennet at tight end that could give John Carlson a run for the Mackey Award this year.

Defense: They found a way to improve last year, and they’re gonna need to do it again this year, replacing 5 starters. One of their returning starters, Jordan “Toast” Peterson is back and may not be able to hold onto his starting spot. The guy made ND’s secondary look all-world at times - really, really important, game winning/losing times. They lose their top 2 tacklers this year but get back the next 7.

Special Teams: Back in the day the “12th Man” referred to more than just the Aggies very enthusiastic home crowd. It used to be the label for their special teams unit too. But Head Coach Dennis Franchione pulled a David Copperfield with that reputation. They do have some speed, however, and were starting to turn that part of the game back around last season, including a blocked field goal (again, The Citadel?) and 2 kick returns for TDs (and, yes, again, one of them happened against The Citadel).

Facts:

  • The Aggies are replacing 2 Offensive Starters and 5 Defensive Starters.
  • One of the Offensive Starters they must replace is on the Offensive Line, but that’s it. The rest of the line is back from last year.
  • Ranked #21 in the Holiday Bowl, they decided to lay down and take it like a coked up starlet to the tune of 45-10 from #20 Cal.
  • Franchone’s special teams were ranked between #73 and #99 in his first 3 years.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS ballot: 22nd
  • Lowest spot on a HLS ballot: Not Ranked
  • Average rankings on HLS ballots: 23.25

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • The Texas A&M mascot is actually a Collie named Reveille. Bitchin’.

Around the Web:

HLS Tracker 10 Forecast Technology Says:

Eh. They made the top 25 out of name recognition, if anything. Yeah, ok, they won 9 games last year but there’s no Citadel on the schedule this year. In fact, with Fresno State, Miami (Fl), mixed into their pre-Big-12 schedule this year, I think they’ll be lucky to reach 9 wins this year.


Somewhat related posts...

June 12, 2007

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: #25 - Arkansas

domer.mq

Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then read in awe and call out to your loved one the glorious analysis below…

Sure, their fan-base is litigious and insane (not to mention the coach’s wife), and their head coach seemed hell bent on running a flag-football style offense, making up plays in the dirt as they went along, but they did have a season in which they clinched the SEC West title, and no matter how stupid/weird their coach might get, they’ve got 2 things going for them: Darren “Oh Christ Where Is He” McFadden and Felix “Crap. I Forgot About Him” Jones. You’ll
recall that McFadden finished #2 in Heisman voting last year. You may also recall thinking to yourself, “I thought McFadden was the best player at Arkansas, but…,” after watching Felix Jones run a kickoff back.

The hogs lost 4 games last year - to #1 Florida, #3 LSU, #4 Southern Cal, and #7 Wisconsin. Good Grief. And this year they no longer have to deal with Mitch Mustain and his, uh, difficult mother, or Mitch Mustain’s former high school head coach roaming the sidelines, wondering who took his clipboard and headset.

Offense: Scary. And we’re juts talking about the offensive sets where they stop bothering with the pretense of a QB and just direct snap the ball to McFadden. Heck, McFadden even threw for 3 TDs last year. Not to mention that their QB, Casey Dick, is not half bad. He’s gone 4-5, but 4 of his 5 losses have been to ranked teams, and we get the feeling that might stop now that the QB soap opera has settled a bit. And it’ll definitely be better if Dick can stay healthy and upright. [I am so juvenile. I hate me.]

Defense: Serviceable. They’ve lost a few key players to the NFL on the D-Line and in the secondary, but they’ve also got a fair number of players back and in their 3rd year of the 4-3 system.

Special Teams: Felix Jones was #2 in Kick Returns last year, averaging 31.9 yards per. So kick away from him, right? To Darren McFadden who was averaging a measly 29.0. Good luck in that field position game.

Facts:

  • The Hogs return 6 starters on each side of the ball this year.
  • They’ve lead the SEC in rushing for 4 of the last 5 years. It’s about to be 5 of the last 6, unless…
  • The Hogs must find a way to replace a 1st Team SEC Right Tackle, a 3rd Team AA Left Tackle, and a 2nd Team SEC Left Guard.
  • Houston Nutt is 20-2 in games played in Little Rock.
  • QB Robert Johnson was moved to Wide Receiver last year, thus destroying the blogosphere’s favorite QB battle: Robert Johnson vs. Casey Dick.
  • Mitch Mustain, his Mother, and Pete Carroll are all reportedly doing just fine in Southern California these days.

HLS Top 25 Meta:

  • Highest spot on a HLS Ballot: 15
  • Lowest spot on a HLS Ballot: Not Ranked
  • Average ranking on HLS Ballots: 23.25

Why Alex Trebek Loves Them:

  • Pete Carroll (a girl’s name! Ha!) spent the 1977 season as an assistant in charge of the Arkansas secondary under Lou Holtz. (source)

Around the Web:


Somewhat related posts...

HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 - Preseason Edition: Also Receiving Votes…

domer.mq

Read this to understand what the glorious HLSTNHT25-PE actually is. Then commence gobbling up every word of our masterful analysis below…

In 8th grade, I learned a difficult lesson: Not everyone wins. In my case, I learned that not everyone wins a participation trophy in pee wee football. Nope. Sometimes you have to be the one kid out of 34 who didn’t get called up by the coach during the bbq banquet, handed a trophy, and plied with nice words like, “always hustled,” or “best form tackler.” The teams listed below received votes, but just didn’t do enough to earn a place in the HLSTNHT25-PE. Maybe next year, kid.

  • Oregon - The land of a 1000 uniforms is reeling a bit from a poor ending to the 2006/07 season. One suspects that karma caught up with them after last year’s Oklahoma debacle. Mike Bellotti seems to know how to coach, and their offensive skill starters all return, not to mention a lot of the skill-position backups. That spells depth. But those returning starters got pasted by BYU in their bowl game last year, and smacked around by USC and Arizona not long before that. They return 7 starters on each side of the ball, but can these guys get around the corner and stop bleeding out points while seemingly always leading their opponents in yards per game? Seems to spell poor red-zone efficiency plus susceptibility to big, TD scoring plays. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #25
  • South Carolina - Few teams have reminded me of a Jr. Varsity team like South Carolina. And that’s not a bad thing. You can sort of watch them play and see that they’re poised for a breakout year… eventually. Last year they had 8 incredibly close games, including one that ended with a blocked field goal - a blocked field goal that ultimately played a huge part in putting Florida in the NC game. Still, there’s never any guarantee of a breakout. It’s often just anticipated, and while Spurrier is a bastard great football coach, there’s no guarantee that he can get this team to the top of the SEC. After all, it was just last year when Spurrier had to push, pull, and drag players into summer workouts. Have those same players learned their lesson? Reason to Watch Out: “The Other USC” gets 10 of their defensive starters back after a season in which they had to replace 2 DLs and essentially 4 linebackers. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #24
  • Miami - After perhaps the most embarrassing football season on the field, off the field and on and off the field in the history of sports, Miami did one thing right: They fired Larry Coker. Of course, they didn’t fire their lying, scum bag of a president, but we’ve got to believe it’s just a matter of time. Randy Shannon, Miami’s previous defensive coordinator, is now the Head Coach, and he’s quickly becoming known as a disciplinarian. Still, that may be like calling him the skinny kid at fat camp with the way Miami operates. Defense hasn’t been a problem at Miami since I can remember, and even last year that held true, so can Shannon, a very good DC, find a solution to the lowest scoring Miami offense since the 1970s? Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #24
  • Oklahoma State - Coach Mike Gundy’s career record of 11-13 draws a collective “meh.” The entire team, actually, gets a “meh.” They could best their 7 win total from last year. They could also lose 10 games. It’s hard to say. One thing that catches the eye is their QB, Bobby Reid, who may make himself a dark horse candidate for the Heisman. He could prove himself to be one of the most productive players in college football. But probably not. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #23
  • Florida State - You might be bummfuzzled about how ole’ Bobbah’s team could be missing from our Top 25. But then you’d be forgetting the punch-line laden offensive “effort” these guys put forth last year. Sure, they’ve replaced Bowden’s least favorite son with a real life, genuine offensive coordinator (LSU’s Jimbo Fisher), but can those kids in Tallahassee learn how to run a pass play not called a jump-ball before the season starts? The good news for Florida State is that they only return 6 offensive starters. The bad news is that one of them is named Drew Weatherford. They’d better hope their freshman QBs are ready to challenge for start time. FSU hasn’t finished in the top 5 of the major polls since 2000 - this after finishing in the top 5 for 14 straight years. Jimbo’s got more than nepotism to overcome. Highest Rank in any HLS Ballot: #21

Somewhat related posts...

The HLS Totally Non-Homer Top 25 College Football Poll - Preseason Edition

domer.mq

We’re extraordinarily delighted to present our newest irregularly-regular feature to the masses:  The Her Loyal Sons Totally Non-Homer Top 25 College Football Poll.

We decided that our readers crave a little more consistency than what we usually serve up.  Sure, we consistently knock it out of the park with witty analysis and thoughtful commentary, but what the reader wants, the reader gets!  And the reader clearly wanted another Top 25 Poll!

How this will/should work:  Over the course of the remainder of this dreadful off-season, we will reveal a new team that holds ranking within our Top 25 Preseason Poll on a somewhat every-couple-of-dayish schedule, working our way to the eventual #1 spot.  The ballots have already been cast by the founding members of HLS, each using their own special methodology because, let’s face it, most of the major polls are completely ambiguous as to what the “Top 25″ really means.  We’re fairly certain that a particular AJC reporter picks based on uniform color, and a certain SEC coach picks based on golf handicap.

Our Methodologies:

  • domer.mq - Carefully paged through a dozen pre-season college football magazines and tried to figure out, for this pre-season poll, anyway, which teams would most likely be playing the best football by the 5th or 6th week of the season, barring injury.  Would also like to know a good way to clean newsprint stains off khakis.
  • The Biscuit - Developed “The Biscuit Formula,” encompassing such important factors as “Objective Biscuit Rating,” “Media’s Stupid Opinion,” How Much Can It Help ND?.” “Level of Hate,” and “Hotness of Cheerleaders.”  He threw it all into a Mac IIe, and got his ballot.
  • Bad Kermit - Thought about each team, thought about how much he hates each team, ranked them, and then multiplied by -1.
  • ChisND - Took a random poll he’d seen somewhere and saved in his del.icio.us bookmarks, threw out the French judge’s score, shook a Wii nunchuck at it, and sent in the results.

As you can see, our methodologies combine to rival those of the most sophisticated BCS components.

Some Observations on the first-ever HLSTNHT25CFP-PE:

  • Unlike the rest of the world, we did not have a consensus #1.
  • The average difference between the highest and lowest ranking of each team that made the HLSTNHT25CFP-PE is 7.25.
  • The smallest difference between the highest and lowest ranking is 1.
  • The largest difference between the highest and lowest ranking is 20.
  • Nobody voted for Hawaii.
  • There’s an awful lot of agreement in the head and tail of the poll, but the guts are as scrambled as mine after too much Persian food.
  • Michigan still sucks.

Once the season starts, we’ll be updating the poll on a weekly basis, zeroing in on the best team in the land and what exactly that actually means.

Coming right up, the “Also Receiving Votes” bit of our poll, so that a handful of teams may know how close they came to glory while ultimately falling shorter than Gary Coleman.

They really will just let anyone have a pole these days.


Somewhat related posts...

Next Entries »