I’ll See Your Fake Girlfriend and Raise You a Fake Coaching Search

they're real and they're spectacular

they’re real and they’re spectacular

The ever concise and elegant Germans invented a word to capture the bumbling and unpoetic English phrase, “a feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of others.” That word, schadenfreude, should have special resonance for Irish fans today, as we read the latest news to come out of Troy. Evidently, an imposter, or imposters, contacted at least two potential replacements for Lane Kiffin, Tony Dungy and Jack Del Rio. Dungy was sufficiently fooled to mention USC’s interest in him on yesterday’s Dan Patrick Show. The Los Angeles Times has the story here. ESPN has it here.

Having endured our own catfishing episode last year, thereby heaping schadenfreude across the land, you can’t help but LOL as the Trojans race themselves to the bottom. Perhaps the fake coaching controversy will throw Orgeron off his game and the smoldering dumpster fire along the 110 Freeway will reignite, scattering recruits and five star underclassmen to the wind, like so many orange, fading embers.

But it begs the question, when BK trolls us all by interviewing at Detroit in February, who will @FakeSwarbrick call?

  • NDtex

    IT’S GRUDEN! IT’S ALWAYS GRUDEN!

  • Fake Swarbrick

    I’m going to call my banker and lay out some more cash to keep BK. Short of that, I’ll probably leave the job vacant and let the Twitterati call plays from the comfort of their homes.

    • NDtex

      We don’t have enough fullbacks for this.

    • http://www.twitter.com/michianacomedy michiana comedy

      Luckily Tommy Rees is a senior. I can only imagine what it would be like next year. “Okay Tommy, the play is for you to take a seven-step drop, throw a pick six, then hang yourself with your own jockstrap.”

      • i_know_a_guy

        i can’t stop laughing

  • Bayou Irish

    He looked like death-warmed-over the other day, though. Bad cold or something.

  • Bayou Irish

    Jack! Thanks for reading and for commenting. I think that would be the best thing with the fans. Just walk up to the podium and say “The new head coach of the University of Notre Dame Football team is you. Good luck, asshats.” Drop the mic and walk off.

  • Fake Swarbrick

    Thanks for the mention Bayou! Long time listener, first time caller. It’s nice to sound off and have more than 140 characters to deal with.

  • http://gravatar.com/clearwall trey

    I must psyched we can start playing this clip again:

    All hail the Orgeron! Savior of Troy

  • http://twitter.com/IrishElvis Irish Elvis (@IrishElvis)

    There’s only one thing to do here: everyone call each USC fan you know, impersonate the athletic department and say they’re “in consideration” for the hire. We gotta crowdsource this!