Friday Roundup: The “Keep It Simple, Stupid” Edition

While it certainly can be applied to anything, the KISS principle really got drilled into my head during my programming classes at Notre Dame. I would have this initial plan of how everything should lay out: variables, functions, classes, etc. and at times I would stubbornly try to force fit everything into that initial plan. The initial idea was solid, it should work, it can work, why change it?

Obviously, such an approach led inevitably to frustration and sleep deprivation. All of a sudden, the goal shifted to solving all the problems that I created instead of the initial problem itself. I was so married to my initial plan, the thought of “this is getting overly complicated–time to start over” would never enter my mind. I forgot to keep it simple and would create bloated and buggy solutions instead.

I finally became a better programmer when I learned that some ideas just flat out suck and won’t work. No one wants to start over from scratch, but, at times, it’s needed.

So when all the conference presidents and Jack Swarbrick gathered together to discuss a playoff, I figured that such powerful and successful men would apply the same principle of simplicity. Not to mention, the problem itself was so simple: swap out a single championship game and replace it with a four-team playoff and there is even a ranking system already in place to seed the teams!

However, this is college football and everything must remain completely illogical. I’m pretty sure the agenda everyday reads “Objective: Put square peg in round hole.”

How else can you explain some of this insanity? We’ve covered it before, but it just continues to get worse. The Big Ten, originally all ready to put the semi-finals on campus, did a 180 and wanted to “save” the poor bowls. I’m sure someone mentioned in the meeting that this might mean the end of the Rose Bowl and Delany ran into the corner screaming “NOOOOOO!!! NOT THE PRECIOUS!!!


The only thing more humorous than imagining Delany as Gollum is to remember that the Big Ten has only won two Rose Bowls since 2000 -- the Big XII has won more (3...well, 4 if you wish to count TCU).

Then you have the whole conference champion requirement, an absolutely ridiculous ploy to force-fit other conferences into the playoff picture. That whole SEC vs SEC matchup clearly got under people’s skin. Well, that is unless you’re a part of the Big XII, the conference that unquestionably got screwed last season, and you come out and suggest a selection committee instead.


Then to top it all off, Gollum Delany suggested that the title game should be up for bids. For those keeping score at home, Delany wants to make sure not to take games away from the bowls, but take the biggest possible game away from the bowls. Only to college football would that make sense.

Going back to the coding analogy, if a program was giving me this much trouble I would scrap the part that was causing all the problems. There is absolutely zero doubt that the conferences and the idiots running them are the root cause of the issues here. They are all worried about securing their own agendas that they are willing to go with the completely illogical.

Major college football has outgrown the need for conferences. The NCAA doesn’t even govern over it either, so why use the same format that every other sport does? FBS Football has always wanted to do its own thing, so go all out with it. In fact, the folks over at SBN had some great scenarios in which college football adopted relegation like the European soccer leagues and I must say, it is awesome.

Of course it’ll never happen, so let’s just go on to the Roundup before I start trying to joust windmills.

The Roundup

Hey look even more realignment rumors! This year’s Texas A&M is Florida State. They are interested in the Big XII, then they aren’t, then a booster says the Big XII is interested, the FSU AD is all “I donno“, and then Bobby Bowden tells everyone to STFU.

Law and Order: Notre Dame has a new episode and Kieth Arnold has your rundown, including a new alcohol citation from Davaris Daniels.

By the way here is your sanity check. If you somehow think the program is falling apart, don’t. Seriously, this is what out of control looks like.

Also not following the KISS principle, the College Football Hall of Fame. A new list of inductees was announced, but it is hard to overlook some obvious snubs for unbelievably dumb reasons.

Forever a Domer, Dayne Crist returned to campus for his graduation.

Roll Teabagging! I wonder if there will be S-E-C chants in the courtroom.

He must know where Craig James hid the bodies. Forget the supposed deficit he created at SMU, why else would Orsini be fired if he didn’t know that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU?

The Beer

This week folks, keep it simple. I’m not going to directly suggest a beer, but this week, in this time of insanity, find your center with a standby. We all have one, that beer of comfort that says either “home” or “to hell with everything else”.

For me, this choice is definitely simple: Shiner Bock.

Shiner Bock

A simple Texas brew that is rather well known and not off any beaten path for sure, but it screams home to me as well as “I can drink a twelve-pack if I want to.”

Let me know your standby brew of choice in the comments.



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  • kyndfan

    Dayne Crist= class act. Wish his ND career turned out better, but class act none the less.
    Shiner turned into one of my favorites at Saint Joseph’s picnic in Louisville years ago.
    College students being cited for underage drinking is NOT a mountain, it’s barely a molehill.

    • DJ

      Underage drinking…at his own house. Would that even get one Fulmer Cup point?

      • NDtex

        Would have had he been arrested and charged. The citation basically amounts to a speeding ticket.

  • JH

    Any beer mentioned in a Robert Earl Keen song is okay by me.

  • Trey

    FINALLY SHINER BOCK MAKES IT’S HLS DEBUT!!!! Great freaking call, Tex!

  • Milf

    You know how to program?

    • NDtex

      Har har, Milfy.

  • Biscuit