Sometime in mid-November:
Fan #1: Man, Weis has to go. I mean, this is horrible. UCONN????? Give me a break!
Fan #2: I know man. I mean, when he's gone recruiting will take a huge hit. Transitions always do, and Weis was a great recruiter. But it'll be worth it. Fat Charlie just HAS TO GO.
#1: Seriously.
#2: Seriously.
#1: Mickey D's?
#2: Word.
Early December...
#1: What the HELL is Swarbrick thinking? I mean, WHAT IS THIS MAN THINKING???? Charlie was fired 4 days ago and STILL NO COACH????? I'm 'bout ready to bust a cap in Savvy Jack's @$$ baby!
#2: I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I mean, how tough is it to just go hire Urban Meyer or Nick Saban? I mean, forget that Meyer declared he's never coming here, and nevermind that Saban is in the BCS National Championship game...we should have one of those Tier 1 guys LOCKED DOWN? Swarbrick is the worst!!!
#1: Really? Jack? 4 days and no announcement? What are you doing, interviewing Lane Kiffin??? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
#2: No one would ever hire that guy, not even ND
#1: Dude, let's hit TCBY.
#2: Solid.
Late December...
#1: Man, I don't know about Kelly. I mean, he talks a good game, but he hasn't brought in a single 5-star recruit.
#2: I know what you mean. How could he lose CHRIS MARTIN? I mean, that guy was OUR GUY! He was as solid as they come, what the HELL?
Mid-January...
#1: These assistants, I've never heard of them. I mean, I'd at least HEARD of Tenuta, ya know? I mean, the guy sucked at ND, but I'd HEARD of him! Shouldn't we only be going after all the big name assistant coaches out there in college football? You know, because WE ARE N. D.!
#2: Right, all those big name assistants like...ummmmm...well, I don't think there's such thing as a big name assistant. Because big name assistants are called Head Coaches for the most part.
#1: Right....Hot Topic? I need a sweet new ironic T with a cartoon character on it.
#2: You're so money and you don't even know it. Pshaw!
Yesterday...
#1: I don't get it. Brian Kelly literally just TOLD Barr to go to UCLA. I heard him say it: "Barr, you go to UCLA. You, hey you, Leuders? Yeah, you go off to Stanford! I only want 2-Star recruits 'round here. I'm making this Cincy Northwest, got it? NOOOOOO, I don't want any top recruits here. Just the small-time guys that really want to work. That's right!" - Can you BELIEVE he said that? It's like he's not even TRYING. I think he and his 'staff' are just hanging out. Really, WORSE THAN TY!!!!!!
#2: Totally man. We haven't seen a single recruiting class yet. There's not been one practice. But man, I'm over Kelly. I say it's time for a change!
#1: I know we said that it'd be okay to lose a few guys to get rid of Charlie, but Kelly has lost 3 WHOLE PLAYERS from this class. And think about it - he's had a FULL 3 WEEKS of time to recruit them. WTF? How could he lose these guys? I just can't believe it...
#2: I know man...hey, want to stop in Abercrombie? Pick up some gear?
#1: Solid /FISTBUMP
EDIT 1:
Just to be clear, I'm not 1000% optimistic about Kelly's hire. I'm just not willing to call the guy a bust or to question WTF ARE YOU DOING??!?!!?!?!?! when he's had a staff together for <4 weeks, and hasn't held a single practice. There's a middle ground where we should all live - healthy skepticism with a bit of hope. If he goes 6-6? Okay, then, I'll start grumbling. But the level of self-righteous dissatsifaction and questioning (of a guy that's been a head coach for a long time and has won every step of the way) is annoying.
EDIT 2: My own site won't let me comment, so this is for DTK and his attempt to compare Kelly to RichRod: You're completely insane. This is so amazingly different from RR I can't believe that even you would make comparisons. A few differences - A) Kelly's transition was pretty seamless, not a complete trainwreck B) Not every player on the team chose to bail on Kelly, like they did RR C) Kelly isn't a D-bag
By SDI January 26, 2010 - 10:34 pm
This post should be popular with the folks at Cartier Field and Rock’s House.
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0
By DeepTeaKup January 27, 2010 - 9:32 am
I can’t remember the last time I saw a TCBY outside of an airport.
Nice post, the similarities to the RichRod hiring grow by the day.
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0
By Ian January 27, 2010 - 10:12 am
Your parody hit the nail on the head (GREAT STUFF) As funny as it is, its also sad that those exact conversations are sprouting up across most ND fan blogs all over the web and have for some time. Some fans can’t see the forest through the trees and expect an immediate restoration of this program. Fans want the glam, glitter and instant success that other programs can achieve. What those fans fail to recognize is, is that yes we can get there, but I assure you it won’t be overnight. This is the reality of modern day College football that Notre Dame faces today. That coupled with its own self imposed standards and regulations. Lets not fool ourselves, those standards do not make things easier, yet we should not look down upon them and use them as a scapegoat .We should embrace the possibility of not only being elite students in the class room but on the field as well. It’s obvious that an attempt to achieve them both simultaneously is not an easy task, but not impossible. All this program needs is the right guy to come along who knows how to light the match to restart the enormous fire this program once was. We as fans need to understand that we as a program are not there yet and that not all fires start with first match. With a little bit of patience and support I think we will all be basking in the warmth and glow of its success again.
LONG LIVE THE IRISH FAITHFUL..GOD BLESS ND!!
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0
By undnut January 27, 2010 - 5:28 pm
December, 1918
ND Fan #1: 3-1-2? Is this Rockne guy serious? Two #!@$*&! ties?
ND Fan #2: It’s ridiculous.
#1: And what’s with the aerial attack? Who does this guy think he is, Orville Wright? We’ll never win this way.
#2: Nope.
#1: Root beer at the Sweet Shoppe?
#2: And how!
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0
By tjak January 27, 2010 - 7:48 pm
undnut, very funny, you too Biscuit. Seriously, getting worked up right now serves no purpose and I am going to give Kelly the benefit of the doubt. Time to chill and support all those young men who will be committing to the Irish next week. As Gene Hackman’s character said in the movie Hoosiers, “This is your team”. Go Irish!!!!
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0
By tjak January 27, 2010 - 10:03 pm
One other thing as I am getting real pissed off with all the naysayers already out there. Can we wait till kelly loses a few games before we start going nuts.
Thumbs Up/Down:
0 
0